tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20283806219828950532024-03-05T15:21:59.954-05:00A not so BLAND life...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.comBlogger320125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-54582878904373751172016-07-22T20:30:00.001-04:002016-07-22T20:30:08.781-04:00Word Press Migration <center style="text-align: left;">
Hey friends! I've been having some trouble with Blogger on my Mac, so I need to migrate over to Wordpress - which I hear is more Apple user friendly. It should be all the same content, but a slightly different blog link. I'll still post up on Facebook and all that so you can follow me. Sorry, Blogger! </center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-33404475551917070322016-07-21T21:51:00.002-04:002016-07-21T22:02:19.803-04:00Little Chef<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
My kid loves our kitchen. I can't keep him out of it. He is obsessed with opening cabinets and letting the tupperware fall out all over the floor. Or, he can be seen sneaking into the pots and pans drawer, and then heard throwing all that metal all over. Or, sometimes he can be found in the spice drawer, artfully rearranging all my mini mason jars full of spices (thank goodness for that tight, mason-jar-type seal, right?) </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So, in a vain attempt to *possibly* keep him out of the kitchen, I thought I would try my hand at one of those cute DIY kitchens I see all over Pinterest and remember my <a href="http://www.younghouselove.com/2012/01/claras-christmas-kitchen/" target="_blank">fave-bloggers-gone-rouge</a> who did one. Here it is! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-Tj-7tv_EdN5Xch9GuZWS-68i8r8KBl6aheuL0YuDm9ii4FwFLN5nqnJVHctd-Ezm89ZUZpCvOHMn4qnixvRKhQvr2ZdO4VG0fAw3vSJbwidpgluegTIcD896_mcUsK-00GzytGfc5E/s1600/IMG_2099.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-Tj-7tv_EdN5Xch9GuZWS-68i8r8KBl6aheuL0YuDm9ii4FwFLN5nqnJVHctd-Ezm89ZUZpCvOHMn4qnixvRKhQvr2ZdO4VG0fAw3vSJbwidpgluegTIcD896_mcUsK-00GzytGfc5E/s320/IMG_2099.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The first thing I had to do was fine a frame. There are so many ideas of this on Pinterest but I went with an over-the-fridge cabinet I found on Craigslist. The guy who was selling it was local, and I got it for nothing. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I don't have a ton of pictures of the process, which really isn't like me...well, maybe it is now that I have a kid. I can only DIY at night after Z man goes to sleep, maybe an hour in the morning after Dave gets home from work but before he goes to bed, and maybe nap time...if I'm lucky and don't have 20 million other things to do (you know...shower, clean the house, make dinner, clean up toys, blah blah blah!) I don't have time to pause for pictures, people!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I bought a new jigsaw and had waaaayyy to much fun cutting the sink hole out of the top of the cabinet. I bought a smallish metal bowl from HomeGoods to use as the sink ($7.99!!) flipped it upside down and traced a circle on the top of the cabinet. Then I cut the whole just a little smaller, so that the lip of the bowl would sit on top. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtm0aW8y0svIzkuJ6JFjgUC4y2bMVMYvR8Y2E0XomGDVg5QX2sq1epyF88SXP3ZVFj0twzU50T0CaXSCmAcJi8wbTLmHv_uoXFCS_v24N0Z_o6Sj27VUwpUiUY717JmdUS4Q4g0Dp_5Jg/s1600/IMG_1638.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtm0aW8y0svIzkuJ6JFjgUC4y2bMVMYvR8Y2E0XomGDVg5QX2sq1epyF88SXP3ZVFj0twzU50T0CaXSCmAcJi8wbTLmHv_uoXFCS_v24N0Z_o6Sj27VUwpUiUY717JmdUS4Q4g0Dp_5Jg/s320/IMG_1638.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hello new jigsaw, you are awesome. I love my power tools! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilTObl44UyDw8pZ4OvZqxO5IxO-jMr7rqPcxEbehnv_sr4OVbgczR62ZwZ_0fDuoQXJffYA1suPwRlmUzUurwp_yf3WCQe-cVj8iXhPb_O_M1mIW_mR1NYrG4P6QP5RMeNuZ1ebiR-MR8/s1600/IMG_1639.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilTObl44UyDw8pZ4OvZqxO5IxO-jMr7rqPcxEbehnv_sr4OVbgczR62ZwZ_0fDuoQXJffYA1suPwRlmUzUurwp_yf3WCQe-cVj8iXhPb_O_M1mIW_mR1NYrG4P6QP5RMeNuZ1ebiR-MR8/s320/IMG_1639.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Here is the bowl set it, just a little liquid nails and some time to set and there ya go!! Sorry, some of these pictures are upside down. Time people, time! ;)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqiFjfWUX4ApkreKGIl6PqY88dMA1Y2Aw-0q6Z_VDUrzOVkYWNjRf6fSbfBnVB7sDdabdLwN2F92QScBKHWwHNdtKZI0i3YEkkazXr3eEYHpOxGTn_T7641Qn85LFdv6SWHy7xLgS_Chc/s1600/IMG_1640.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqiFjfWUX4ApkreKGIl6PqY88dMA1Y2Aw-0q6Z_VDUrzOVkYWNjRf6fSbfBnVB7sDdabdLwN2F92QScBKHWwHNdtKZI0i3YEkkazXr3eEYHpOxGTn_T7641Qn85LFdv6SWHy7xLgS_Chc/s320/IMG_1640.JPG" title="" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I looked all over for a faucet. Did you know that faucets are pricey? I didn't want to spend more than $10-$15 on a faucet for a play kitchen. I headed to ReStore in Aberdeen to check it out (its awesome!) cue picture...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5JoVBedaoETIGomGoE-HdMr1yWax1NSUOiFu9y0zdyxunHoSG9TImWQbHvJIAJ-kUskQ87DFNvqJIHa2IHOmizLeWMdzoTVHvFpujiKAcXyClGrGOtFfxLWO3MfFjwvEbgbjPUCssTIc/s1600/IMG_1619.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5JoVBedaoETIGomGoE-HdMr1yWax1NSUOiFu9y0zdyxunHoSG9TImWQbHvJIAJ-kUskQ87DFNvqJIHa2IHOmizLeWMdzoTVHvFpujiKAcXyClGrGOtFfxLWO3MfFjwvEbgbjPUCssTIc/s320/IMG_1619.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I could this little bute for $1!!! Can you believe it?? Anyways, I realized you had to have a special tool to drill holes for a faucet, so back to Home D I went. I learn all sorts of stuff while building these crazy things! I came home and again had way too much fun drilled the holes for it! Set it in there, and voila! Look at that thing!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7sW3OLrY096XKmW15M8EEWrxnxnAT4LIQwVp_6Z-4yKAVQgi8h6ZW-nzKYfILwJjOK7cFSHX2BDu88iyBBaC2XBQkihQ04pHTxnXKEsgF44rpdIQGD6xjJCTjAM70xor3iX8rruWYFc/s1600/IMG_1642.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7sW3OLrY096XKmW15M8EEWrxnxnAT4LIQwVp_6Z-4yKAVQgi8h6ZW-nzKYfILwJjOK7cFSHX2BDu88iyBBaC2XBQkihQ04pHTxnXKEsgF44rpdIQGD6xjJCTjAM70xor3iX8rruWYFc/s320/IMG_1642.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Oh wait, before I set anything in anywhere, I primed, and painted. Then sanded. Then painted and sanded again. And again. This thing needed a few coats. I like to do thin coats, so that means more coats, more drying time, more waiting. THEN I set the sink and faucet in. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The doors were trickier. Well, just the one door. I put the left side back on how it came to me, but I wanted the right side to open like an oven. I bought about 6 different sets of hinges, none of which worked. I really wanted a spring hinge, something that would open an close softly, but none of the ones I found worked will the project. So, I just settled for regular hinges and a magnetic clasp. I may end up changing it because the door opens way too fast and scares Z a little, and his little toes are at risk until he learns how to open it slowly. I'll get there...Anyways, for now it works.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5dO7RciCqp7uKE7nja0V_q2GYUC_dWpceZCh0HAYT_zUL-sW3IN7qyRUAQu4mJHoY177csC52YfjB97qb7bEbTAJzvnnjkqwCP8UfCy8V5N7QKKmPEZSFX8aUn54F0j-Fbt53peqNtcA/s1600/IMG_2057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5dO7RciCqp7uKE7nja0V_q2GYUC_dWpceZCh0HAYT_zUL-sW3IN7qyRUAQu4mJHoY177csC52YfjB97qb7bEbTAJzvnnjkqwCP8UfCy8V5N7QKKmPEZSFX8aUn54F0j-Fbt53peqNtcA/s320/IMG_2057.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I bought some new hardware and got them on there. I blackboard painted the one side too. I need to get some kid friendly chalk to write on there, but for now he doesn't really care. Oh and I found a stick on backsplash from Lowes on clearance for $4, and the colors were peeerrrrfect! So I brought them home and got them up on the little strip I added to the back for a nice visual effect.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQXnkCi9LmSmD9rw_5wNVxQ3ISnHnf9vcoyRyIQhaoWwILudtncSWSf3M2iqBnM1w2_MVJ_SnCHcDkXrCpz0BY2-y3wUEsMs2vFFzGEqiEswwsgp1pPbbLxg-Eqmo0feLVCrJCc4-aIA/s1600/IMG_2058.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXQXnkCi9LmSmD9rw_5wNVxQ3ISnHnf9vcoyRyIQhaoWwILudtncSWSf3M2iqBnM1w2_MVJ_SnCHcDkXrCpz0BY2-y3wUEsMs2vFFzGEqiEswwsgp1pPbbLxg-Eqmo0feLVCrJCc4-aIA/s320/IMG_2058.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Finally I had to add some little touches. I found the "burners" and knobs at A.C. Moore. I painted them black and attached them with some screws, I love the effect!!! It's so cute!!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtmeAFVXRvZzcCRhFpaggrk1-USC8uXDd1m_pHF6nDMqrIIO3GSdE2Jv-GVHanxz9IaPD0uM4C7QNDwut44MLSxwwZTITJszLeSZkW-rvn7b7axVOftUGYyg-evbCDIj9yTkB5qPvFuG4/s1600/IMG_2094.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtmeAFVXRvZzcCRhFpaggrk1-USC8uXDd1m_pHF6nDMqrIIO3GSdE2Jv-GVHanxz9IaPD0uM4C7QNDwut44MLSxwwZTITJszLeSZkW-rvn7b7axVOftUGYyg-evbCDIj9yTkB5qPvFuG4/s320/IMG_2094.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I used a chalkboard marker to draw on the details. It's sort of a white-silver color.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEUUOQvs1ho9u-QrtQGxMQBFpy0FYrpX-qkqAF5Et-IL1eLpkrJYPGROATYkLh-lWUNxBM1NSOjPNpYXhdftq3lyp4PsounSuJEMJU8SO9wQvobfsoiQYIycWUlk2N3udx6i5ozWce98Y/s1600/IMG_2096.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEUUOQvs1ho9u-QrtQGxMQBFpy0FYrpX-qkqAF5Et-IL1eLpkrJYPGROATYkLh-lWUNxBM1NSOjPNpYXhdftq3lyp4PsounSuJEMJU8SO9wQvobfsoiQYIycWUlk2N3udx6i5ozWce98Y/s320/IMG_2096.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I added some details to the sides too. Those two little knobs on the side to hang things on...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA77tOLmTUPC0JUUWkb4OBYb9gaWdhjyOxaXA5wzzMpViH_OkFJSXHlEc1q-gEEcc40budln0kQQD4woT_EwKw1Y8c3d2NXvf_C0avaerFQo1qxGr_aY8K69MGT_uSVZHEbHgollzNxXA/s1600/IMG_2097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA77tOLmTUPC0JUUWkb4OBYb9gaWdhjyOxaXA5wzzMpViH_OkFJSXHlEc1q-gEEcc40budln0kQQD4woT_EwKw1Y8c3d2NXvf_C0avaerFQo1qxGr_aY8K69MGT_uSVZHEbHgollzNxXA/s320/IMG_2097.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
And this little diddy for a dish towel (still need to buy one!)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-Tj-7tv_EdN5Xch9GuZWS-68i8r8KBl6aheuL0YuDm9ii4FwFLN5nqnJVHctd-Ezm89ZUZpCvOHMn4qnixvRKhQvr2ZdO4VG0fAw3vSJbwidpgluegTIcD896_mcUsK-00GzytGfc5E/s1600/IMG_2099.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-Tj-7tv_EdN5Xch9GuZWS-68i8r8KBl6aheuL0YuDm9ii4FwFLN5nqnJVHctd-Ezm89ZUZpCvOHMn4qnixvRKhQvr2ZdO4VG0fAw3vSJbwidpgluegTIcD896_mcUsK-00GzytGfc5E/s320/IMG_2099.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Z already has the pots and pans set and a fruit basket set from IKEA which he LOVES, and I found a cheap food set at Ross for $10.99. So I put it all together, made sure it was dry and set (I did a few clear coats and light sanding to set it all up for extensive use) and waited for Z to "discover" it a few mornings ago...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1AYj6GuhjlW68ShNzjXdT2W-XHZN4HBAc1n0QKgfN4WA1HcQTJ_CuZw1L5Wyk1H-6YF5lSvlb-I6hXLaCHVmiAxJIJM1zlhkExgHxyVpEHM5SXIlnjjEjw2RDw_rfQNkmUzJTRMS4CC4/s1600/IMG_2104.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1AYj6GuhjlW68ShNzjXdT2W-XHZN4HBAc1n0QKgfN4WA1HcQTJ_CuZw1L5Wyk1H-6YF5lSvlb-I6hXLaCHVmiAxJIJM1zlhkExgHxyVpEHM5SXIlnjjEjw2RDw_rfQNkmUzJTRMS4CC4/s320/IMG_2104.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
He went right to it!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWlgvGYInKHgAxphshPYTZX4p-UEfuzlqDZVKFEqLP6xpzY4gFcD9c1rv-FIS5EwvD_igEsSj1FuqUfYv-xH000d3Gga5c0ODbfjMqbxtju5B8N4AdNd547FcX1ABmz6OPfGvi4vI6Ow/s1600/IMG_2114.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWlgvGYInKHgAxphshPYTZX4p-UEfuzlqDZVKFEqLP6xpzY4gFcD9c1rv-FIS5EwvD_igEsSj1FuqUfYv-xH000d3Gga5c0ODbfjMqbxtju5B8N4AdNd547FcX1ABmz6OPfGvi4vI6Ow/s320/IMG_2114.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Look at that smile. All the frustration and DIYing is worth it for THAT smile!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtgqcHgXK0lKi-Ir68kXRZi-2ODy97895BwlCQV_NAEUkVosgdS_U9hmVvap0KJ79QssPXeuGnghnoO1zvkm-YzHFyMdDgk-4tIod3Jx1PBJ-8FIxp7sl2npHeY5aFIMchZvcwSTdKLmk/s1600/IMG_2108.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtgqcHgXK0lKi-Ir68kXRZi-2ODy97895BwlCQV_NAEUkVosgdS_U9hmVvap0KJ79QssPXeuGnghnoO1zvkm-YzHFyMdDgk-4tIod3Jx1PBJ-8FIxp7sl2npHeY5aFIMchZvcwSTdKLmk/s320/IMG_2108.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
If I say, "Z go stir the spaghetti," that is his cue to go over to the kitchen. I have no idea how that started or how he even understands that?!?!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5M-G4c_rQzjAJuO3uWfb2EDCiffcyldJDlRRvbqK436YJgWXcSlW_1PZ7L-Dl4ihbZ-G1oYZQOlRrsMQrVsfuWObndaPdF5-UbN9IlTYfSGGGMnPTF1I5AZkXlE-P5DzzREU3TcR1_Fc/s1600/IMG_2111.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5M-G4c_rQzjAJuO3uWfb2EDCiffcyldJDlRRvbqK436YJgWXcSlW_1PZ7L-Dl4ihbZ-G1oYZQOlRrsMQrVsfuWObndaPdF5-UbN9IlTYfSGGGMnPTF1I5AZkXlE-P5DzzREU3TcR1_Fc/s320/IMG_2111.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
All in all, I'm pretty proud of myself! Its such a cute "toy" for Z and it does (somewhat) keep him out of the actual kitchen. I threw in some older tupperware, a cleaned out coffee can and sour cream container, and he is set!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1GMfzxzSU2kT_NzowAfRD7WY-CMKQvrlmpPm2K_95IzmntkKrARTz9Pi9ZWBVie7MqzyxP-IoDcYmhncs_qD0wrHl-ySbzHqOTAhDibR1-pJ16vEMWfQ_Wi8dEZhn8jTdDmCi2Iw7EU/s1600/IMG_2106.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1GMfzxzSU2kT_NzowAfRD7WY-CMKQvrlmpPm2K_95IzmntkKrARTz9Pi9ZWBVie7MqzyxP-IoDcYmhncs_qD0wrHl-ySbzHqOTAhDibR1-pJ16vEMWfQ_Wi8dEZhn8jTdDmCi2Iw7EU/s320/IMG_2106.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Play on, my little chef, play on. <3 </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="https://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="https://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-65711076663111494402016-07-16T09:45:00.002-04:002016-07-16T09:47:15.602-04:00Puzzle Pieces<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKRXumiNUcMjOusrhhv-pg27GXdS7qxUPLU0sq3dUfl4sXCN_1XL-HaSBtm2KYqO6VOuRVikMFF9n2nfaQo3ovaYuHfAqN16gBQKa4YaOCM8PUvTn-l96bIXeVZQz7uDzBUb59olzevL4/s1600/Puzzle+pieces.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKRXumiNUcMjOusrhhv-pg27GXdS7qxUPLU0sq3dUfl4sXCN_1XL-HaSBtm2KYqO6VOuRVikMFF9n2nfaQo3ovaYuHfAqN16gBQKa4YaOCM8PUvTn-l96bIXeVZQz7uDzBUb59olzevL4/s320/Puzzle+pieces.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Recently I was reading one of my mom devotionals and the writer said something so profound, so simple, it totally stuck with me! She was talking about different parenting styles and ways to baby rear, and how there is so much <i>stuff </i>out there about how to raise our children. As moms, we want to make sure we are doing the absolute best thing for our children. Some of us have no freaking clue on how to raise a baby, and maybe someone you know (ahem) may turn to books, online articles on Baby Center or even Facebook (gasp!) to learn how to raise the sweet little monster that may or may not be terrorizing your house at the minute.</div>
<center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Guys, I am talking about me, if you didn't get that ;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Anyways, I love to read about raising kids. I respect what other moms have tried and failed and perfected when it comes to their kids. I am willing to try anything (well, mostly anything) to figure out how to raise my kid so he wont be an...well, I can't say that word here. I want him to be healthy, happy, compassionate, love Jesus, well-rested, smart, considerate...you know, just a nice and normal person!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The writer in my devotional said that I have to look at my kids, my family, as a puzzle. We all look different and have different qualities and angles, yet we all fit together perfectly because God gave us to each other. We are a family. We belong together. We fit together, because God says so. Dave, Tina, Ashley, Zachary = one beautiful puzzle. That means, however, that my family and your family are a totally different puzzle. None of our pieces look the same, therefore our puzzles will never look alike. When it comes to figuring out life, it can be helpful to ask and learn from what other parents have done, but we have to take into consideration that our kids are all completely different beings. I hear the "what works for me may not work for you..." all the time but more than that, child-rearing has all these milestones and rules that we feel we should all follow and fit into. The result? Well, I don't know about you, but all that ends up doing is make me feel like a bad mom when my child doesn't fit into that mold. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
That starts a deluge of the critic in my head..."You aren't doing this right," and "you aren't a good mom," and "Other kids do or don't do that," and all that nasty stuff that we hear and feel and sometimes even listen to. Being a mom in this world can be really tough. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
To breastfeed or bottle feed? Wean at a year or at two? To vaccinate or not? To cry it out or not? Are you going to homeschool? Private school? Which nursery school? Your kid needs to do sports. Your kid needs a schedule. Your kid can't watch TV. Your kid can't have this or not, and needs those, and won't be this without that. So...many...choices! Most moms I know are in the same boat as me, we just don't KNOW yet...but there are other families we see or hear about who are so <i>passionate</i> about some of these things!! It's not wrong to be passionate, not at all. But it is wrong for me to think that what works for me and my kid <i>must</i> work for everyone else too. I understand the "mommy wars" term now, because society can make us feel pressured to do something we may not know is right for us and our babies, or they tell us/make us feel that what we've been doing is the "wrong" way. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
When I read that line about the puzzle pieces, it helped alleviate the pressure I sometimes feel. It doesn't matter what other moms are doing, or what the "experts" say. They are doing or saying what works for them, or what works for the majority. Zachary is my kid, I spend 24 hours a day with him (right now) and I know his needs best. I am his momma! He is part of the puzzle of my family, and he is teaching me <i>very</i> quickly that he will not fit into any standard this world has. I spent the first few weeks after his 1st birthday feeling so stressed out. He has to give up his bottle, I have to stop the formula even though he doesn't eat enough food, he has to be on a nap schedule, blah blah blah. I wanted to scream because I wasn't doing <i>anything</i> right!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I realized that I wasn't thinking about my kid, really. I was just thinking about some silly standard I have in my head. A standard based off of a bunch of information that has nothing to do with <i>him</i>. I know that we will conquer each step or milestone eventually, but it has to be right for Zachary. Finally, with the help of <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008GVZ0FK/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1#navbar" target="_blank">Desperate</a></i>, and a whole lot of prayer, I realized I need to stop trying to fit my kid into some puzzle that doesn't exist. He fits into our puzzle perfectly, however we can make that work and keep him safe, healthy and happy. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I know I'll probably never feel like I am doing everything right, but that's ok. I am going to let Z guide me and teach me, and keep filtering everything through prayer. Being a mom is scary, having to be in charge of this sweet, little life is a big responsibility. When I strip away all the junk from my head, I see how lucky we are to even have this kid in the first place. How is it so easy to forget that? Our family has our own way unique way of living and growing and loving, and we are figuring it all out one step at a time, minute by minute. That, my friends, is totally fine. We are a puzzle, each piece belonging wholly and truly, just as God orchestrated. Can I hear an amen? </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center>
</center>
</center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="https://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="https://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-31738449196820517382016-06-12T22:19:00.001-04:002016-06-12T22:19:32.271-04:00Two Years Later.<center style="text-align: left;">
<center style="text-align: left;">
Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my son's death. Today is the anniversary of his birth.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Last year, I was 2 weeks postpartum from my C-section with Zachary. I didn't really have time, or energy, to grieve the first anniversary of all that mess. I was deliriously tired and happy all at once, overwhelmed with this new little Rainbow that actually came screaming into my life, instead of silent like his brother.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I can't let this years anniversary without writing something to honor and remember my beautiful Jackson. I can't believe it's been two years. I won't go into all the details again because it's so painful to relive, but you can read them <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/07/your-story-part-1.html" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/08/your-story-part-2.html?spref=fb" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/08/your-story-part-3.html" target="_blank">here</a>. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
As I move forward in life, I still feel heartbroken when I think about my baby being "stuck" back in 2014. Life sped away from him and left him there, and left a huge part of me back there too. The grieving of this loss is never ending. Not to sound hopeless, because even in baby/pregnancy loss there is hope. You have to choose to look for it and you have to find it <i>every single day</i>, but there is hope.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Sometimes I feel that I have to justify why I still feel sad, why I still want to talk about him, why I still say his name and <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/04/that-one-time-there-were-two.html" target="_blank">his twins</a> name, and why I'm not "over" it. No one actually <i>makes </i>me feel that way, but I think the stigma and silence around the subject of baby loss forces me feel that I have to explain myself.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>I don't.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
My very first son was real. He had a heartbeat, he had a brain, he had arms and legs and fingers and toes. He had everything that you and I do, but was still very tiny and was supposed to keep growing. He was here, he had life. He had a gender and a name and a room to be decorated and everything that a baby should have. He had 21 weeks to grow in my belly, 21 weeks to move around and develop, and 21 weeks to make our whole family fall completely in love with him. He was my baby. Then, very suddenly, he died. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It could be so easy to feel hopeless, to feel sick with grief all the time. Baby and pregnancy loss is nothing to wave off, although many people do. It hasn't happened to those people, and that is ok, no one should have to go through it. The heartache is crushing, acute and long-lasting. It could drive a mother crazy, it could actually kill her. The weight of empty arms when they should have been full of a beautiful <i>live</i> baby is the heaviest emptiness I have ever felt. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Thank goodness I have a God who loves me and and picked me up and walked me through it, even though I wanted dig my own grave and stay there. Some things aren't to be understood, and although I am not ok with that, I have learned that hard lesson. Jesus helped me find my life again, he helped me appreciate the time I have here with all of my loved ones, he gave me knowledge and strength when I thought I had nothing. He carried me through it and then slowly put me down and walked closely as I got through those weeks and months after. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Slowly, I got to a place where Jackson's life and death don't make me sick to my stomach. I got to a place where I could think of my baby boy and his twin with love and peace and even joy. I got to a place where I realized his life meant something, and taught me so many wonderful things. His life may not mean a lot to a lot of people, but it does mean a lot to a few. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
He taught me to love big and worry less. He taught me so much about the grace and love of God. He taught me about <i>real </i>life, that life isn't always happy and perfect all the time, and that we can heal and make the most of it regardless. He taught me the importance of somethings, and the silly unimportance of other things. He taught me to love people like crazy because I never know who may need it. He taught me not to judge because you never know who may be dealing with loss. He taught me how to grieve and understand the act of grieving. He taught me to slow down and just enjoy life! He taught me to look at the sunsets and sunrises and any body of water and see God's love for us. Most of all, he taught me that I am a mom, even before Zachary got here, even though I had no earthly baby at the time, I am a mom and <i>he</i> gave me that. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So while my sweet little boy isn't here with me, he sure taught me a lot in a very small amount of time. He will be with me always, and not a day goes by that I don't think of him. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Zachary sees him, which may sound a little weird. Sometimes he will look up at the ceiling and point, sometimes laugh and giggle, sometimes even play peek a boo with someone. that I can not see. I know it's Jackson, and I whisper to the room, "I love you, baby. I miss you. Thanks for watching over your brother." Sometimes I cry, because I wish I could see him too. Other times I smile and feel at peace. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Grief is a wave, and sometimes we go up and then we go down. I will ride this wave for the rest of my life. The waves never stop, but I get better at keeping my head above water. I used to want to drown in it. I'm glad that I didn't, I'm glad that the strength and love of God and my family kept my head above the water. I am strong, I am brave, and I am still here. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Jackson and Lily will always be a part of our family, and will always own a piece of my heart which is not with me anymore. I am a different person because of them. I thank everyone who has been so loving and supportive over these past two years. I have found happiness and reasons to smile and though the pain of not having them here will always hurt, I am always learning to live around the pain. While I don't want to write much more about baby loss and grief anymore, it may weave its way sporadically through some of my future posts. I feel that I've said most of what I need to say on the subject. I know that Jackson and Lily don't want me to be stuck in the past, and I finally feel free enough to move along in life without guilt.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I love you. I will always miss you. You have a piece of me with you, forever. <3</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNou7-Sb69KS0541SZUvX0dsC0RY3In9RtxU6mfk-vWkdcgxiNszb8cJacytrjaEqsWIfaPsxJy4bGtjS7-90Yh1cQwWvGMvwkUX5zD9DKIINxhMsn5M1o_2JOe4RSflGoTjjURYyQMyE/s1600/Jackson.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNou7-Sb69KS0541SZUvX0dsC0RY3In9RtxU6mfk-vWkdcgxiNszb8cJacytrjaEqsWIfaPsxJy4bGtjS7-90Yh1cQwWvGMvwkUX5zD9DKIINxhMsn5M1o_2JOe4RSflGoTjjURYyQMyE/s640/Jackson.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<br /></center>
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-53604482108597424252016-05-08T22:39:00.001-04:002016-05-08T22:39:57.238-04:00Baby photo shoot<center style="text-align: left;">
Happy Mother's day!!! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
As a gift to myself and the family, I really wanted to get some professional pics of Zachary done. I never cared for the thought of a studio set, and while I LOVE the personal location shots, I just can't fathom forking out the money for them!!! I know, I know...they are memories, but apparently I am surprisingly cheap when it comes to something I "feel" that I can do myself. I know, I know, I am NOT a professional photographer. I don't have a fancy camera, or the high quality editing programs...so my pictures never really look just like those nice family ones we see. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Oh well, I did it anyways!!! And I loved doing it! I talked to Dave and made sure he'd be around and awake enough to help me, and gathered or fashioned some props for the photos. My little model can be a bit "testy" at times, so I decided to catch him when he is is most happy which is right when he wakes up - at 6:30 am - on a Saturday! Sorry babe ;) Ask my husband how he feels about 6:30 am, I dare ya! (<i>Insert laugh till you cry emoji</i>)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I used my iPhone and this really great iPhone editing app that I bought for about $10. I love that the app has tons of filters but also lets me crop, light, adjust on my own too. It's really fun and I feel like a pro!!! Here are some of the shots. If you don't like them, feel free to judge and laugh from afar. If you do, well, I always like hearing good things ;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I loved the hot air balloon idea! I found it on Pinterest and the best part is that it matches the theme of Zachary's birthday party later this month - Vintage Travel! I decided to cap his first year off with the same theme as his nursery. I love the theme, I don't think he'll ever choose it himself when he is older so I'm choosing it for him now! There are so many cute ideas too, I'm going to have a lot of fun with it! Some of these I'll have printed for the part, because they are so cute.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Now, prepare yourself for reality. It was just Dave and I and we aren't experts in baby wrangling for photos, but I love how they turned out so far. I'm still editing some, but here are some great ones I have as of today! I think I captured his crazy, exploring, inquisitive personality just perfectly! Enjoy!</center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHEVz_IQtFH0oIaQ0E03vG1ki4Qul9ImuIOxIK1S3CvRO13dnCGwWDX8GYJlQD7dUYfaCsZ_pUnsmDc78xNiG1G5Ulee9I53355vGczSXsV5Is3UekjUldKKU1dNbTxIDS9VBLhs1dkHc/s1600/IMG_0433.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHEVz_IQtFH0oIaQ0E03vG1ki4Qul9ImuIOxIK1S3CvRO13dnCGwWDX8GYJlQD7dUYfaCsZ_pUnsmDc78xNiG1G5Ulee9I53355vGczSXsV5Is3UekjUldKKU1dNbTxIDS9VBLhs1dkHc/s400/IMG_0433.JPG" width="257" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhshhc-MDlk9G2nL7Rs4RWB9ZS8EkTXHFB1LLwybyH73lPUnV3pprvSJ6DPUF287CpXyQuSr6HUe51Uagn7j7QsM6O9-tjZUo0FpD5Qn888R_pS5-G00YInZbPj4gwbsDOnSblUOOPRSnM/s1600/IMG_0423.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhshhc-MDlk9G2nL7Rs4RWB9ZS8EkTXHFB1LLwybyH73lPUnV3pprvSJ6DPUF287CpXyQuSr6HUe51Uagn7j7QsM6O9-tjZUo0FpD5Qn888R_pS5-G00YInZbPj4gwbsDOnSblUOOPRSnM/s400/IMG_0423.JPG" width="293" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAHA-BIEGp2pHhg8cKWA3kardx608p0yu1kBZJXvY9hTH9k1j9M0LqVp02yhAYXQWz5zFzXGX4PePzPnje2P9v99tQjPd6fS0Cvl97go95p2JwXYieptAv20u4DRJV01SR8LvEa1Cymyk/s1600/IMG_0434.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAHA-BIEGp2pHhg8cKWA3kardx608p0yu1kBZJXvY9hTH9k1j9M0LqVp02yhAYXQWz5zFzXGX4PePzPnje2P9v99tQjPd6fS0Cvl97go95p2JwXYieptAv20u4DRJV01SR8LvEa1Cymyk/s400/IMG_0434.JPG" width="301" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihBL2a5uNEPxorVYhJaCE2xAKTWRBm29KfipLDuasYTZVXypsfy-Be1ILFjeWLK1xqPPi4YGKF_BUFvt_ou0J0YOwch9zDDlKMThY70X4jluF0YOl16amr7dw9B_zzeJ3IZk6Y93nHIc/s1600/IMG_0436.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihBL2a5uNEPxorVYhJaCE2xAKTWRBm29KfipLDuasYTZVXypsfy-Be1ILFjeWLK1xqPPi4YGKF_BUFvt_ou0J0YOwch9zDDlKMThY70X4jluF0YOl16amr7dw9B_zzeJ3IZk6Y93nHIc/s400/IMG_0436.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWsnnBWbYDl7j4yyD38tfMPYFlUhdOR6Rdq8112HFZxanFMPAB5wuNON_J1F1_awLIMkivkMllCf6RsnlscXA0-tudsrzW7szYtaZEmQnD_vMct8zVhYlGy4MQz8HPPjqMs6UB2FfSqGo/s1600/IMG_0439.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWsnnBWbYDl7j4yyD38tfMPYFlUhdOR6Rdq8112HFZxanFMPAB5wuNON_J1F1_awLIMkivkMllCf6RsnlscXA0-tudsrzW7szYtaZEmQnD_vMct8zVhYlGy4MQz8HPPjqMs6UB2FfSqGo/s400/IMG_0439.JPG" width="285" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFp2k2sRTFmfKgmuHCunPpRIvlqIdivJOWmByl0r5rleDDj4c9MXSUWUUSHoFev_NdEB96oE3YSO6j7qIc_ScY2Gq5colHfHBl6g4sRfuCYH-PlinIFXplKVd79FTCvhiuL_k6H3n23Bw/s1600/IMG_0438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFp2k2sRTFmfKgmuHCunPpRIvlqIdivJOWmByl0r5rleDDj4c9MXSUWUUSHoFev_NdEB96oE3YSO6j7qIc_ScY2Gq5colHfHBl6g4sRfuCYH-PlinIFXplKVd79FTCvhiuL_k6H3n23Bw/s400/IMG_0438.JPG" width="251" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1dywT7w76LHB8ZaEzjjG84uvR0_xXDqKCVS6OK7TMzaxyTCTbJC9EdGnWuY43qPJnJlDD16hEijxVUtu3gZsbuiNUaQP6x4hWIjxepYN_5XdRRTI97W4skjFCe0SnNWoo2ggomi9OZY4/s1600/IMG_0461.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1dywT7w76LHB8ZaEzjjG84uvR0_xXDqKCVS6OK7TMzaxyTCTbJC9EdGnWuY43qPJnJlDD16hEijxVUtu3gZsbuiNUaQP6x4hWIjxepYN_5XdRRTI97W4skjFCe0SnNWoo2ggomi9OZY4/s400/IMG_0461.JPG" width="273" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7Vs1Cz6p79qBQATQoEEV7hFMUQUiR6MoR8MtB8gd0jagohZUeFH0265V80Tp6mOnxm8B0P-iUD3IB38DWHucX5Kao9Sjlr7q-CgY77jKn1w3hr9Uc1EAhyYHFRHaceZBFXDTWBRaW0g/s1600/IMG_0458.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7Vs1Cz6p79qBQATQoEEV7hFMUQUiR6MoR8MtB8gd0jagohZUeFH0265V80Tp6mOnxm8B0P-iUD3IB38DWHucX5Kao9Sjlr7q-CgY77jKn1w3hr9Uc1EAhyYHFRHaceZBFXDTWBRaW0g/s400/IMG_0458.JPG" width="313" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
These next two photos right here are real life, why are they my favorite? "Mom, I'm so done with your shenanigans!"<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMH1g1-YNbaex-Z9v6j8RlnLrIKzGze9CxglwM2lNOaMad7queadHdF2-okLXafDDuPtRSV1_U0RIWJWxA27KwN12YaG25yvJKD2-75LjkLmDbnH7950Ref7M0rCLXH3ciItb2WENKXGM/s1600/IMG_0425.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMH1g1-YNbaex-Z9v6j8RlnLrIKzGze9CxglwM2lNOaMad7queadHdF2-okLXafDDuPtRSV1_U0RIWJWxA27KwN12YaG25yvJKD2-75LjkLmDbnH7950Ref7M0rCLXH3ciItb2WENKXGM/s400/IMG_0425.JPG" width="306" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
BTW the animal in the picture below is "Snow Luck Bear." I bought him at Target right before Christmas for $5. He is not very sturdy, being a $5 "bear." The funny thing is, he isn't a bear at all, he's a dog. He has a little snowflake on his tummy so I dubbed him "Snow Luck Bear" to bring us luck for a snowy winter (sorry, Maryland!) and after about a month we realized he a dog!!! Oh well, the name has stuck and he is Z's favorite thing ever. You should see him make out with him and sleep on top of him at night, it's hilarious! Oh and I can't even handle that face...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJIDfZ2WcAEt3c2H0KoAbHt0UwVjfpHtJ-6-vy2xfh6mtbj87NIrRluQAnVZIfBwd51bALYnw8UKFLNn_C1MsU5mR13efLuozPnoJOtk-6VZMRkGqBnnuXm7R6bFly_9_0UNhCR6kWHoY/s1600/IMG_0262.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJIDfZ2WcAEt3c2H0KoAbHt0UwVjfpHtJ-6-vy2xfh6mtbj87NIrRluQAnVZIfBwd51bALYnw8UKFLNn_C1MsU5mR13efLuozPnoJOtk-6VZMRkGqBnnuXm7R6bFly_9_0UNhCR6kWHoY/s400/IMG_0262.JPG" width="300" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
These are just the sweetest ever, aren't they? The photo he is holding is his newborn picture! Wasn't that just yesterday???</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Hl0GBdAe7gihUya6UIIp9EAds454aib3qM9KQ5sf17hGxsTJjLk2-fC6lcm0HFg1UybhsqWMa4Ca0pbB6MeKQIlv0EMGdeIzuz0y0J7ce2v0awXq78ZUd8XfQqfBhA86kNRCdtc_RLI/s1600/IMG_0442.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Hl0GBdAe7gihUya6UIIp9EAds454aib3qM9KQ5sf17hGxsTJjLk2-fC6lcm0HFg1UybhsqWMa4Ca0pbB6MeKQIlv0EMGdeIzuz0y0J7ce2v0awXq78ZUd8XfQqfBhA86kNRCdtc_RLI/s400/IMG_0442.JPG" width="301" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVpe7VLj4TZirR2PVM0Vbqsv7kuVwMs8XVTZI_TQxbtnlNqzB95-_UxVLNngtE9HBm4_ZVWX7VGGjIQabWwzTVXOc_aUCVL7uTj2RCe7vin-Dp93ExJczCweYRDaMFP5tkj9aMijgEe_s/s1600/IMG_0441.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVpe7VLj4TZirR2PVM0Vbqsv7kuVwMs8XVTZI_TQxbtnlNqzB95-_UxVLNngtE9HBm4_ZVWX7VGGjIQabWwzTVXOc_aUCVL7uTj2RCe7vin-Dp93ExJczCweYRDaMFP5tkj9aMijgEe_s/s400/IMG_0441.JPG" width="301" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
This picture is pretty typical of him, always exploring things, me always chasing after him. Le sigh....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw01tHhl-taMSB50gw0JxsP_G2roUehjIzTIEVCJnAlKK85DlO-WR1Ee4sjpn4uTMvDS8Pdos9sqldWU55uBvEMBBqkP9crL1QLDUFm9HW81eTrGyaa6PMk0o3j43rqMicmWxUJnnE-Tg/s1600/IMG_0443.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw01tHhl-taMSB50gw0JxsP_G2roUehjIzTIEVCJnAlKK85DlO-WR1Ee4sjpn4uTMvDS8Pdos9sqldWU55uBvEMBBqkP9crL1QLDUFm9HW81eTrGyaa6PMk0o3j43rqMicmWxUJnnE-Tg/s400/IMG_0443.JPG" width="242" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2jstZ3bRQXAdOMh_-P8iUmNOp2gGLJihUekmn09b3X50gDAsKNlTaGEZzu2eqrfoQyN4VlbiDrEE4xzerMSHbqX7I9TJiudIVWlX9ps35u-MwljoivgyEqq1jufkrf5DUA9fzK-JHChQ/s1600/IMG_0448.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2jstZ3bRQXAdOMh_-P8iUmNOp2gGLJihUekmn09b3X50gDAsKNlTaGEZzu2eqrfoQyN4VlbiDrEE4xzerMSHbqX7I9TJiudIVWlX9ps35u-MwljoivgyEqq1jufkrf5DUA9fzK-JHChQ/s400/IMG_0448.JPG" width="278" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2KBG0wQV8DAXwSR6GX3wyTFbhsEM9W6MFRVS7HR7PqtygKApWPiriIb-gIZiDLfvuMx6yNHJG0FvsnbeeSQjigTb7vhgJG2C5ent2Kf1SsuNaKITDkN2vAGQoUdRtp5KKTCzB-W_Gnhs/s1600/IMG_0447.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2KBG0wQV8DAXwSR6GX3wyTFbhsEM9W6MFRVS7HR7PqtygKApWPiriIb-gIZiDLfvuMx6yNHJG0FvsnbeeSQjigTb7vhgJG2C5ent2Kf1SsuNaKITDkN2vAGQoUdRtp5KKTCzB-W_Gnhs/s400/IMG_0447.JPG" width="301" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1t8Vn3IRskd3-gWdJh1oTp_Y35sbTWiRwgIbjERifHE7VUv_0E7r0pGo82hXX5EQw49IenQpGFwbYAhUQqWCnbAV3SNq0w818sPAPQqgH7tdY6r3rFnp1_aUlSbrxez4XWa22OzfkJNk/s1600/IMG_0455.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1t8Vn3IRskd3-gWdJh1oTp_Y35sbTWiRwgIbjERifHE7VUv_0E7r0pGo82hXX5EQw49IenQpGFwbYAhUQqWCnbAV3SNq0w818sPAPQqgH7tdY6r3rFnp1_aUlSbrxez4XWa22OzfkJNk/s400/IMG_0455.JPG" width="301" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0vkh-u2tWcE7LPWqejSll65wtC-R6ZnbFMYbTclInejbxm-f8_ZzRo5Q_q0skKHiizOKjvzmuI6BA884_3dpVE9Sujf9d9tfnaRZl6MtTCHR54p73fv__AHx9I1xIBmdzeivOyvx6s0/s1600/IMG_0454.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0vkh-u2tWcE7LPWqejSll65wtC-R6ZnbFMYbTclInejbxm-f8_ZzRo5Q_q0skKHiizOKjvzmuI6BA884_3dpVE9Sujf9d9tfnaRZl6MtTCHR54p73fv__AHx9I1xIBmdzeivOyvx6s0/s400/IMG_0454.JPG" width="252" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIW7q2QyrNjytsU1dtZv7jqdvAcQh35kv-2_XH1Sa8BY4TXafZPJ4NPT7c5nnbTuTLkPBW69uBbOA1K00LXVHhV8lEynzBU2qO1bi_M-cW9nDG5xm1L-3_x-4AxJsPFzCNyzOaXTgcQHs/s1600/IMG_0456.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIW7q2QyrNjytsU1dtZv7jqdvAcQh35kv-2_XH1Sa8BY4TXafZPJ4NPT7c5nnbTuTLkPBW69uBbOA1K00LXVHhV8lEynzBU2qO1bi_M-cW9nDG5xm1L-3_x-4AxJsPFzCNyzOaXTgcQHs/s400/IMG_0456.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
"The pigeon wants a puppy" is Zachary's favorite book in the world right now. It's the first book he has ever really shown active interest in. We read all sorts of things to him, but this one I really act out and he loves it! He cries when we are done and will open my hand and shove the book back in. Next years party may have to be the Pigeon party ;)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB1YMq7GhzVmxyFlH5gKsQe-Mo4yZcBoe6HFoKIQXFGXN6I1nP1D-0tniX4lC4aHw9s0rvJ6jMk7FFDBx2yN3pEI6J10zWtnX3AsvwM_GwTWDekNxcFxpsUnPJ52_PvTx1mJx4Qe6gnnE/s1600/IMG_0428.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB1YMq7GhzVmxyFlH5gKsQe-Mo4yZcBoe6HFoKIQXFGXN6I1nP1D-0tniX4lC4aHw9s0rvJ6jMk7FFDBx2yN3pEI6J10zWtnX3AsvwM_GwTWDekNxcFxpsUnPJ52_PvTx1mJx4Qe6gnnE/s400/IMG_0428.JPG" width="301" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPqeQImcfdiDn3sm59VQkQoMp1EIs7NZ2D71t6sZMjFT13JOsg9O9_cVO9oh1GKbM1JO2-3AG_uyc-BlH2UR3OECY9PeGlu8i8grg1LMJkgKnVslqyTRJ1zk48uhrOJkXj33MHRs_gJY8/s1600/IMG_0427.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPqeQImcfdiDn3sm59VQkQoMp1EIs7NZ2D71t6sZMjFT13JOsg9O9_cVO9oh1GKbM1JO2-3AG_uyc-BlH2UR3OECY9PeGlu8i8grg1LMJkgKnVslqyTRJ1zk48uhrOJkXj33MHRs_gJY8/s400/IMG_0427.JPG" width="301" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoj5SyGhFpGAiQWm5nO1WaXVTxkUApv9uWRedI0fweosALLc7ycyZ1VIJpuP5pJA80VKKvor9vzU5RKwqAz86Ewlhc57XHqeSR4AFC3XkPRIb1Nk89Qg3-DJm0ipZUwB9N_Be1-_Qnc70/s1600/IMG_0430.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLZGzn7J4eageAuujU0l5TJrqpCdfaPSUnhn-VqEGLcTt9z1XyxvzZvqVjPrZ37IwxTz7XdS92ugn4jw84FOOCBnXyMFc2bnc2CgEcUwEiCjsFrAAud7D1suqgUtJxo0JapH9hYYqqZwI/s1600/IMG_0432.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLZGzn7J4eageAuujU0l5TJrqpCdfaPSUnhn-VqEGLcTt9z1XyxvzZvqVjPrZ37IwxTz7XdS92ugn4jw84FOOCBnXyMFc2bnc2CgEcUwEiCjsFrAAud7D1suqgUtJxo0JapH9hYYqqZwI/s400/IMG_0432.JPG" width="301" /></a><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoj5SyGhFpGAiQWm5nO1WaXVTxkUApv9uWRedI0fweosALLc7ycyZ1VIJpuP5pJA80VKKvor9vzU5RKwqAz86Ewlhc57XHqeSR4AFC3XkPRIb1Nk89Qg3-DJm0ipZUwB9N_Be1-_Qnc70/s400/IMG_0430.JPG" width="301" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIUzSxaabYXLd9jHDgLG8CKbeEMK3gKK36tnRuhJxB9GAPDUQxZrrDxdvR_iV9DWhq-cQbmaz2s8fRtiwWeF-4x_uaUlybeGS0LM3DaIuUDSMiWJ5jlUUKVt6M5-nOBUS3svb5GwKhWL0/s1600/IMG_0460.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIUzSxaabYXLd9jHDgLG8CKbeEMK3gKK36tnRuhJxB9GAPDUQxZrrDxdvR_iV9DWhq-cQbmaz2s8fRtiwWeF-4x_uaUlybeGS0LM3DaIuUDSMiWJ5jlUUKVt6M5-nOBUS3svb5GwKhWL0/s400/IMG_0460.JPG" width="298" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFf4e2DUX_kkXYfOjIAaWOQNOCFl8nuaCOWUVPjz3Sv821L2WnAarwWZYHYfV2Ls6qs6PtCVSN8ItZ1baItkM70Ebz7N5ZIubHcF1P7HfbEdsA-Fa1Z20vp5I2h8YTMMXFJ77NsIpqd_I/s1600/IMG_0431.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFf4e2DUX_kkXYfOjIAaWOQNOCFl8nuaCOWUVPjz3Sv821L2WnAarwWZYHYfV2Ls6qs6PtCVSN8ItZ1baItkM70Ebz7N5ZIubHcF1P7HfbEdsA-Fa1Z20vp5I2h8YTMMXFJ77NsIpqd_I/s400/IMG_0431.JPG" width="301" /></a></div>
<br />
Thanks for checking out my photos. Hope you enjoyed them!! I totally forgot to get suitcase photos, so I'll have to do those another time!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhctam6WBmZ3wJBDmnsWNYcfinABb0kh6Lv2JB6P-nZxfFAG8t4WvvjatTPMfGPgAaNUr68Fq5ApY7KgGMiUeekr1JEmNTPwnc5awGhnpi7OSMv5QZsD0aTnM-aYJo7onyFK2f-D9R6mIM/s1600/IMG_0429.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhctam6WBmZ3wJBDmnsWNYcfinABb0kh6Lv2JB6P-nZxfFAG8t4WvvjatTPMfGPgAaNUr68Fq5ApY7KgGMiUeekr1JEmNTPwnc5awGhnpi7OSMv5QZsD0aTnM-aYJo7onyFK2f-D9R6mIM/s400/IMG_0429.JPG" width="301" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Thanks to my little bumble bee, my rainbow who gives me the privilege to be a momma on Earth. Its the best thing I've ever done! </center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-85558146801735239652016-04-12T21:56:00.000-04:002016-04-12T21:56:00.579-04:00Mindfulness and baby<center style="text-align: left;">
About a month or two ago, I noticed a pattern I was falling into. You see, I work full time in the school system, Monday - Friday, from about 7:30 in the morning until around 4:30 in the afternoon. I have two days off a week (weekend). </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitrRplBEpRcRUYTtwv2gwu97i0ChqFLE2ucuxGxH4jYXz6m0UvbuZ-rGYQQ-eR-DYUU0XkADNoaTgwP7Uoq-BOiH2d8mNtUAccy4GR3HY-faHPbhokdEejmRchUW7aJw1lVTyQrAWBeUA/s1600/IMG_0143.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitrRplBEpRcRUYTtwv2gwu97i0ChqFLE2ucuxGxH4jYXz6m0UvbuZ-rGYQQ-eR-DYUU0XkADNoaTgwP7Uoq-BOiH2d8mNtUAccy4GR3HY-faHPbhokdEejmRchUW7aJw1lVTyQrAWBeUA/s320/IMG_0143.jpg" width="240" /></a>My busy, rambunctious little baby Zachary goes to bed every night around 7 or 7:30. This means that on week days I have a precious 2.5 to 3 hours with him. The weekends are the only time during the school year, besides breaks, that I can be home with him all day and just enjoy being his mom.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
What I noticed that day a few months ago is that I was too busy being "busy" during my Z time (i.e. time I should have been focused on him.) I mean, I was watching him and making sure he was safe, but I was not mindfully there for him. For example, I'd come home from school and need to run a ton of errands - Target, grocery store, post office, etc. Most of my time with him was him being behind me in the car, strapped into his car seat. Or, on the weekends I have to clean my house, right? So Z would be in his pack in play or even safely playing in our family room, but mommy would be over organizing papers, clipping coupons, cleaning in the kitchen or even (gasp!) on her cell phone. I was filling my Z time with other things than Z. Or, I was with him but my mind was elsewhere. What needs to be cleaned, what do I have to cook, what is everyone up to on Facebook...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidVJux60wvQJHLSwG3UL-sk88LHLzMNdkbA8iiipnYFJCvRhxiOLtyuFYqtv-2-jS6H13n6rju9GHmPqJgwBHTT5j8otwxF0TVfHr5dvB1jebD80ZL7oBwxWb-slOEFfPdPD2wyNoTpww/s1600/IMG_0107.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidVJux60wvQJHLSwG3UL-sk88LHLzMNdkbA8iiipnYFJCvRhxiOLtyuFYqtv-2-jS6H13n6rju9GHmPqJgwBHTT5j8otwxF0TVfHr5dvB1jebD80ZL7oBwxWb-slOEFfPdPD2wyNoTpww/s320/IMG_0107.JPG" width="240" /></a>Almost every day I realize how fast this whole thing is going, how fast Zachary is growing up. He was just a teeny tiny baby, and now he is 10.5 months old. While I try take a bazillion actual pictures and a quadruple billion mental pictures, nothing really takes the place of just BEING with him and ENJOYING him. I had a complete breakdown that fateful day, crying because life is going too fast, he is growing fast and also wanting to go go go fast himself. He seems determined to grow up, get bigger, master the next step in his development, and I just want him to be a baby!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
That's when I decided that I had to CHOOSE to be <i>in the moment</i> with him. I had to be more <u>mindful</u> about actually being with him, and letting him me the sole object of my attention. The cleaning can wait until he goes to bed, and even then, if it doesn't get clean, who cares?! It'll get done eventually, or I'll hire a maid. Target is fun and all, for ME, but for him? I try not to go so much, or I try to get my errands done on my way home from work when Dave or mom or someone can watch him. That way I can whip around the store fast and get home to being with him. Chores and errands and those monotonous parts of life in general can creep up on me and trick me into believing I have to get them done right then and there, but that is not true. Sometimes chores and errands can't be helped, but since I've been more mindful of time with Z, I've found that 90% of the time they can wait.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLJ7wjPMGK8W0iW1mSjeUC5eCuNF7Fxa7HMJUp2nsl46XXCRhFF2DTr6FkxVNE9cVd-3VWqoco7BiAQfmh31Cppw7B7HNHxPETIvVGjWp6vMtIN8b0dems3JXnbn9f11jeWOdhIv0SUJM/s1600/IMG_0129.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLJ7wjPMGK8W0iW1mSjeUC5eCuNF7Fxa7HMJUp2nsl46XXCRhFF2DTr6FkxVNE9cVd-3VWqoco7BiAQfmh31Cppw7B7HNHxPETIvVGjWp6vMtIN8b0dems3JXnbn9f11jeWOdhIv0SUJM/s320/IMG_0129.JPG" width="240" /></a>My son needs me, <i>right now and right here</i>. He will not be small forever. He will not need me forever. Soon, his face won't be so babyish, it'll still be sweet and the most beautiful face on this earth, but he will grow out of this adorable stage. I just love sitting with him, playing with him on purpose. I've been getting better at ignoring the call of the thousand things that need to be done around us. When we play together on the floor of our family room, or his room, or his basement play area, or outside on our lawn...time seems to stand still. Life stretches out and relaxes a little bit with us. Zachary will choose to explore on his own still, but since I am there I get to WATCH him. I'm noticing how he learns, how he explores objects with his hands and mouth. I'm learning even more of his expressions and thought processes. Its the most beautiful thing in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. Every now and then, he'll crawl over to me and throw those hands up for me to hold him, and I'm so glad I am there for it. I'd be <i>missing</i> it if I was in the kitchen, or putting his laundry away!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'm more in awe of him, more in tune with his needs, and time seems to be slowing down just a tad. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnxM4zL9_uJus-aQYNjitutJnz4mz5d2ZtBX2TQaHYihod4s8qO6N_ROZ6hXu7erTeXWOMEkhO2jIBrljcnUijOqKaK6t17ir0CT3I0cpE5PhjMX27_hogO63WFQ7AHZIQJblndjJ4RwU/s1600/IMG_0236.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnxM4zL9_uJus-aQYNjitutJnz4mz5d2ZtBX2TQaHYihod4s8qO6N_ROZ6hXu7erTeXWOMEkhO2jIBrljcnUijOqKaK6t17ir0CT3I0cpE5PhjMX27_hogO63WFQ7AHZIQJblndjJ4RwU/s320/IMG_0236.JPG" width="240" /></a>I think this is true of anyone we love. Life is so sneaky about creeping up on us and stealing our mindfulness and our joy of being with others. The laundry, the cooking, the stupid (STUPID) cell phones (ok, I love mine and can't live without it, but it's STUPID!) they all take up space in our brains and scream at us constantly for attention. But our loved ones, they may not always ask us for our attention. I needed to re-learn how to just be with someone. That's it, no other steps. No TV, no phones, nothing. Just me, him and the world around us to explore. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Mindfulness is a choice. If I don't choose it every moment, it's gone forever. If I hadn't stopped my own world a little bit that day and realized what was going on, I may have missed so many precious moments. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Zachary, baby boy, you are teaching mama so much!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I do keep my phone around, however, so I can catch these ridiculously cute moments... </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUCs-NTBMG1eAqmAJedyYO8RN0K31suGTPrng8ZAdjjoWw3t-p4DM7XWe4P3B39UjoLH1D9a2GSL5BYSXN8IV_kUVE0I_-CeMSKkj410Al7meK2y727N1T0qfXURFnKQ8_h-BfonThgVA/s1600/IMG_0233.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUCs-NTBMG1eAqmAJedyYO8RN0K31suGTPrng8ZAdjjoWw3t-p4DM7XWe4P3B39UjoLH1D9a2GSL5BYSXN8IV_kUVE0I_-CeMSKkj410Al7meK2y727N1T0qfXURFnKQ8_h-BfonThgVA/s320/IMG_0233.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTS6Ed-YMxFUXWAvC7vRz-axjgu02Wc762ucVoQfztBYjV_C6FqYLGCNVk2YN5Rn7129s0wQSI7qDzCQ_8cF66zLLVIo8ajjAjh5coKcRI4SbcKLZtu0r8dVRCIQFgVoh25fG6ZNQn9YY/s1600/IMG_0175.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTS6Ed-YMxFUXWAvC7vRz-axjgu02Wc762ucVoQfztBYjV_C6FqYLGCNVk2YN5Rn7129s0wQSI7qDzCQ_8cF66zLLVIo8ajjAjh5coKcRI4SbcKLZtu0r8dVRCIQFgVoh25fG6ZNQn9YY/s320/IMG_0175.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGuEr589Xcb2fvTelAz_ze-9nclrUPoAgo61ux9IR7PXatAhWzX3Frvo8BmHMvg7Uwu6Y03leLfcGXxycYoGTJAZb0yGoc2ItzhyXwJbQ1jPp6PCt0f_vhUjCQbAodCbZjAPJlBLwzKuQ/s1600/IMG_0623.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGuEr589Xcb2fvTelAz_ze-9nclrUPoAgo61ux9IR7PXatAhWzX3Frvo8BmHMvg7Uwu6Y03leLfcGXxycYoGTJAZb0yGoc2ItzhyXwJbQ1jPp6PCt0f_vhUjCQbAodCbZjAPJlBLwzKuQ/s320/IMG_0623.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoNd4-Fvl_AqHfipmZke4uIGKCdCCAKvCYNd1r5-C9x8fCV1DfQKMdmgNmt5xEUyFnZN-8H8KuwqRxIIM9-7ZP7j3I3FNITYec5Bu2QzDdzaUaMbwA7Y-VIDn2xEqiTfHn1aqpwLViZcI/s1600/IMG_0565.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoNd4-Fvl_AqHfipmZke4uIGKCdCCAKvCYNd1r5-C9x8fCV1DfQKMdmgNmt5xEUyFnZN-8H8KuwqRxIIM9-7ZP7j3I3FNITYec5Bu2QzDdzaUaMbwA7Y-VIDn2xEqiTfHn1aqpwLViZcI/s320/IMG_0565.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV81HT3Wx_L36IOzFalFc7Z88SSxsM4clK-VErw7RuSYXz3LtJz3P1QReGFhU5jC-MceBElREfrd2dBwcdnkv88T2tIvH5ZYCiZmlZ-H02EkL0RukkvquD1V0rfBrT5RvbsKzzgp8FTUE/s1600/IMG_0709.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV81HT3Wx_L36IOzFalFc7Z88SSxsM4clK-VErw7RuSYXz3LtJz3P1QReGFhU5jC-MceBElREfrd2dBwcdnkv88T2tIvH5ZYCiZmlZ-H02EkL0RukkvquD1V0rfBrT5RvbsKzzgp8FTUE/s320/IMG_0709.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Cp1Q94tCv_PQtNpAhtKwMeA7JQENA8WbUBFkRW7OGwt_GuzkCLlj-U_v8aE-cNLGHPT7QYQb2OSvQphyphenhyphenJFGzabxsMO8KqLufE070GiIRxsvISr-7SlWcff-WRuvxvWR9KBJtO4vXi3w/s1600/IMG_0657.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Cp1Q94tCv_PQtNpAhtKwMeA7JQENA8WbUBFkRW7OGwt_GuzkCLlj-U_v8aE-cNLGHPT7QYQb2OSvQphyphenhyphenJFGzabxsMO8KqLufE070GiIRxsvISr-7SlWcff-WRuvxvWR9KBJtO4vXi3w/s320/IMG_0657.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaOzXUoHcb86ii88eVHahT1-it9dXg062Wk8FJxRIFU6S4VOfyveRi41dnHmYqTlwD63BiidGirV7mJhZiU-thrrcaOXCyfmVeIz1BWgBOppAe5FUa6Ck-4Jb9xi7e-Z9u4cILRftkTRk/s1600/IMG_0810.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaOzXUoHcb86ii88eVHahT1-it9dXg062Wk8FJxRIFU6S4VOfyveRi41dnHmYqTlwD63BiidGirV7mJhZiU-thrrcaOXCyfmVeIz1BWgBOppAe5FUa6Ck-4Jb9xi7e-Z9u4cILRftkTRk/s320/IMG_0810.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-7772325734325833302016-02-23T22:50:00.002-05:002016-02-23T22:50:30.474-05:00DIY bath bombs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">DIY Bath Bombs</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This is an overdue post but I wanted to share because these were so much fun to make! Now that I know how to make them, the possibilities are endless. </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br />We had a wee little BLIZZARD here in Maryland about a month ago. It snowed about 3 feet, and we were all stuck inside our houses for days. Things got a little crazy, picture 'The Shining' but not just one family in a big hotel, but a couple thousand families in multiple houses! No joke, the minute the plows started to get to the neighborhoods, the traffic in our town looked like Christmas Eve shopping traffic. Er'body went CRAZY being stuck inside for so long!! The snow was so fun and pretty though, I love a good snow storm. And who wouldn't love being snowed in with a cute baby?!?! Shameless plug for cute Zach pics...</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim9kreGVio82vDp0Zwm03vMMQ70vqCbreJZdM5IzFKJiHTWA72ER_L4U-e6AvgT3VNoOJBJlEZxLFkuuLoceIMVw0gtUW6ijZFaCh7EquX7obrXUFfdqYYD_de8dGtzYgR4m0XC57QJzY/s1600/IMG_9397.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim9kreGVio82vDp0Zwm03vMMQ70vqCbreJZdM5IzFKJiHTWA72ER_L4U-e6AvgT3VNoOJBJlEZxLFkuuLoceIMVw0gtUW6ijZFaCh7EquX7obrXUFfdqYYD_de8dGtzYgR4m0XC57QJzY/s320/IMG_9397.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9Vvw8jG2KlrdHrLKHaK5bO2fdKBswMhcIXOyh1NxeS3aJsO1WUtBO2paJzbepI5tUjZ9Sk9pKOGD9zNvfK9uNu9vvz17idGePTPcHYuJa4F-Mk83o8GA2KXOO0a7mNmgG2GMFI4D2so/s1600/IMG_9395.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9Vvw8jG2KlrdHrLKHaK5bO2fdKBswMhcIXOyh1NxeS3aJsO1WUtBO2paJzbepI5tUjZ9Sk9pKOGD9zNvfK9uNu9vvz17idGePTPcHYuJa4F-Mk83o8GA2KXOO0a7mNmgG2GMFI4D2so/s320/IMG_9395.JPG" width="240" /></a> </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6kE2heyTbl3In4zy7NnMKPdCJgKOHO26Uvd6Vml3NBJCl54I6tjmPC_ONdTuCigcV8L_ZkwJugGS_lIqVg928NMjQno6YV83z2YhRsFLYlT-BfMuwGmdkLg1Yq3DKK3bz-E0P0ibiE4/s1600/IMG_9400.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6kE2heyTbl3In4zy7NnMKPdCJgKOHO26Uvd6Vml3NBJCl54I6tjmPC_ONdTuCigcV8L_ZkwJugGS_lIqVg928NMjQno6YV83z2YhRsFLYlT-BfMuwGmdkLg1Yq3DKK3bz-E0P0ibiE4/s320/IMG_9400.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSEYczcxzBwp0eLYT0cKO9hMLpbx0Hw3wrG1xw575d5Hjgm0xyAnwRCcjl6bt8eXMpXh9ENTVcnHQC_SVlnFODYveG7diPSXvcI60AdrSS5wNnnkD6t7iRHFsDhV_0tlCbjetWHkmMx4/s1600/IMG_9410.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSEYczcxzBwp0eLYT0cKO9hMLpbx0Hw3wrG1xw575d5Hjgm0xyAnwRCcjl6bt8eXMpXh9ENTVcnHQC_SVlnFODYveG7diPSXvcI60AdrSS5wNnnkD6t7iRHFsDhV_0tlCbjetWHkmMx4/s320/IMG_9410.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
He wasn't big fan of the snow, but who can blame him? It's cold and wet and momma wouldn't let him play in it yet (because hello...it was taller than he is!) so we'll have to try again next time.</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So, in order to save my family from a crazy wife/mom/stepmom, I got to work on fun little projects during our 2nd winter break from school. I've been wanting to make my own bath bombs. I got together a ton of supplies that a few different websites mentioned, but didn't end up needing everything here in the picture.</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxL384cae0APJtsKjHqHLyJdD34_AwP2ZVVyPk4bcbR2_ULsaG8k558ywxt-v8bsXLxxlLBWxP9T_bt4s8LbGAubwKUm56GucP1MojW-YDeMfal6T2Y0dphzvkTUHLM9c_Y8gvZzv_H_s/s1600/IMG_9378.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxL384cae0APJtsKjHqHLyJdD34_AwP2ZVVyPk4bcbR2_ULsaG8k558ywxt-v8bsXLxxlLBWxP9T_bt4s8LbGAubwKUm56GucP1MojW-YDeMfal6T2Y0dphzvkTUHLM9c_Y8gvZzv_H_s/s320/IMG_9378.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I landed on this recipe from <a href="http://www.beautybaronline.com/2015/05/diy-bath-bombs.html" target="_blank">The Beauty Bar</a>, and it worked great. If you follow that one exactly, but change what oil scents you use, you will love the result. I wasn't sure how it would work with coloring these substances, but it was so easy, and hands work the best. Sure it's a little messy, but it goes fast. I made all 12 bath bombs during nap time...which was about an hour that day.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTwgg6cDEiTSTjx7QMmPH9tjXSYsHNla3yoVORRSf-LxnWh7vH7Gl83dlU4sNxoD40yecJ_H6D-VYXjG4pT5jy5t4HCjXxstxPR9w8QajiJNkw8h57KJ-NIGMSk4SwrpFzKqsCE2p0zrk/s1600/IMG_9379.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTwgg6cDEiTSTjx7QMmPH9tjXSYsHNla3yoVORRSf-LxnWh7vH7Gl83dlU4sNxoD40yecJ_H6D-VYXjG4pT5jy5t4HCjXxstxPR9w8QajiJNkw8h57KJ-NIGMSk4SwrpFzKqsCE2p0zrk/s320/IMG_9379.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
It was so simple. Just mix, color, mix and then put into molds or cupcake liners, like I did. You need to let them dry out over 24 hours, but then they are ready for use! I wondered if they would hold up after drying and they totally did!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjebDPR0JINGpFQHVDJqmrwTBxdgN62hPFEZYKIYKflIPIaAIebF0JlAgs_pFw7O-XjiGaskfhg8bWrTd9-gOr1Y_GYyC6rS8finvMixLGix25zexIGCThBgcyWmHpOUv-ficYw2BAtLcU/s1600/IMG_9418.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjebDPR0JINGpFQHVDJqmrwTBxdgN62hPFEZYKIYKflIPIaAIebF0JlAgs_pFw7O-XjiGaskfhg8bWrTd9-gOr1Y_GYyC6rS8finvMixLGix25zexIGCThBgcyWmHpOUv-ficYw2BAtLcU/s320/IMG_9418.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I am definitely ordering little molds for these so I can make legit "Lush-like" bath bombs. Ashley and I are obsessed with LUSH, but we each spend about $40 every time we go...and that is way too pricey for 4 or 5 bath delights. This is MUCH cheaper. Healthier wallet = Happy Tina :)</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3QDj9Qbl6ipnzf1zboQEemTnsN-Df50RxPRjMwMUhSsX02TM_QCVsMyS17vP4HjPXwaNGGp6E7nhhte64NNUSk3d5iTv0MYDWoBfOYZDDP6fpIR8ipOYh7AsPmU3V1C17eIpF4uh51zw/s1600/IMG_9436.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3QDj9Qbl6ipnzf1zboQEemTnsN-Df50RxPRjMwMUhSsX02TM_QCVsMyS17vP4HjPXwaNGGp6E7nhhte64NNUSk3d5iTv0MYDWoBfOYZDDP6fpIR8ipOYh7AsPmU3V1C17eIpF4uh51zw/s320/IMG_9436.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
This purplish-blue one is Lavender/Relaxation. Here you can see it fizzing in the bath...it was so exciting! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqxcIccSjRHA2nUY_rp33JXJ_IzAvIPZ3rVVJKzGOY8SXmH9qJQf2Q_URgZFJWRxguRfeenelVYiWxSnqLdkBJargL8urx9FHGVqApBaqvSYXGqnpQhXJIfSZGEv-hh8ZFdtUtbiGUr4E/s1600/IMG_9438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqxcIccSjRHA2nUY_rp33JXJ_IzAvIPZ3rVVJKzGOY8SXmH9qJQf2Q_URgZFJWRxguRfeenelVYiWxSnqLdkBJargL8urx9FHGVqApBaqvSYXGqnpQhXJIfSZGEv-hh8ZFdtUtbiGUr4E/s320/IMG_9438.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<center>
<br /></center>
<center>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I didn't make mine too dark in color, because I was fearful of staining the bath or myself, but I shouldn't have worried. The color went down the drain with the water, no stains on either of us!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Let me know if you try them, and what scents you liked best. Mine were Lavender/Relax; Green/Deep Muscle relief; and Rejuvenating/Lemongrass & Orange. I need to work on some better labels. Next time!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Enjoy!</div>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-85768131432881922162016-02-15T06:50:00.001-05:002016-02-15T06:50:38.454-05:00All things mom<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Good morning! It's 5:00 am! A certain someone woke up a bit early today, he was hungry, of course. This little Valentine of mine is going through a growth spurt and getting 4 teeth at once! So we had a bottle and he is back in his crib, Momma is currently trying to get him to fall back to sleep but so far, it has not been a very successful mission. I keep trying to tell him that if it's dark outside, we sleep! He hasn't gotten the memo yet, but hey, he is only 8 months old. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSyiIgAiqBFfIK1PZKYnGOTADYGuIjZWGJneU0ra-EN592lC1cfxeSg7TbO68erz8Man1c1hiYKtK-WRZgXbUpDKGHmdLvuxtUNv2x9BTWQOIOWmL2m1Pe9w2QQhzIsv5xN6ieHXxuMUA/s1600/IMG_9740.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSyiIgAiqBFfIK1PZKYnGOTADYGuIjZWGJneU0ra-EN592lC1cfxeSg7TbO68erz8Man1c1hiYKtK-WRZgXbUpDKGHmdLvuxtUNv2x9BTWQOIOWmL2m1Pe9w2QQhzIsv5xN6ieHXxuMUA/s320/IMG_9740.JPG" width="240" /></a>I took a long break from blogging when I went back to work in September. I needed the time to transition into a full time mom who works (lol, not a full time working mom. I feel Mom-ing comes first, everything else comes second!) It wasn't too bad a transition, although my heart definitely breaks every time I go to work now. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Being Zachary's mom has been amazing and full of joy. Yes, I guess you could say it's hard too, but I try not to focus on that part of motherhood as much as possible. Those first few weeks are tough, but after that I think I got my groove. Part of the hard is the WORLD. There are so many things to worry about, so many opinions to dodge, so many reasons to think I am making a mistake with my child. So many thoughts that can make me believe I am not a good mom. Thankfully with Jesus and tons of prayer, we are getting through this parenting thing day by day and loving the adventure, whether we are good at it or not!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFHlHx0TPV-LazZDmZGgXJPKTYHPvYXHi8W70Nf_j42l0UYjqMDHLVrLfHjOWcdhKrq0FaYVYkztz2ZeCpXmIZX2R9L4TzTfOVKpb9P9tpAAz4BDIV3O0lZomXxadc_mR_DTK2FZobjxw/s1600/IMG_9663.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFHlHx0TPV-LazZDmZGgXJPKTYHPvYXHi8W70Nf_j42l0UYjqMDHLVrLfHjOWcdhKrq0FaYVYkztz2ZeCpXmIZX2R9L4TzTfOVKpb9P9tpAAz4BDIV3O0lZomXxadc_mR_DTK2FZobjxw/s320/IMG_9663.JPG" width="240" /></a>The lessons I am learning as a parent are beautiful ones too. These lessons sometimes contradict what I felt I have always believed, or fly in the face of things that other people believe, but I am surprised to learn how much my love for this little person makes me just not care about what I used to think or what others think. My house is usually always a mess, but I have learned to love that. My space has been taken over by all things baby and you know what? I love it. If we all need sleep and that means Zachary sleeps (safely) between Dave and I? We do it. If I needed to stop breastfeeding at 2 months for everyone I love and their sanity (but mostly mine and Z's), that was a decision I made and haven't turned back since. Being a mom, I've learned very slowly that I have to do what works for us, what makes Zachary happy, what makes me happy, and just go with it. When my decisions are backed in love and prayer and doing what I think is right, I am much more confident about myself. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I used to think we could spoil a baby, but I don't believe that anymore. Zachary runs the show right now, and we are ok with it. From he beginning until about a month ago, our world completely revolved around him and his needs and his schedule. We are slowly starting to make a transition where his schedule doesn't rule us all as much, and where he can't get "everything" he wants anymore, but that is because since he has been mobile, he has been more demanding of things he can't have. Things like climbing up the stairs, and putting trash in his mouth, and trying to drink momma's wine, lol. It's a tough change when you have to start saying "no". We are trying hard to say things like, "Not right now" or "Not for Zachary" or even "Maybe later!!" You should see his face when we tell him he can't have or do something, what a little attitude! We have to constantly tell ourselves not to laugh, because I am sure that will come back to bite us later when we really have to start disciplining! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig1yL3LnDfxQEwXO9NAkJ23ao-CxJuNrsaH5s-MWOQzGrtrLRpReMrOcLdwn6ZVhOYXfaGfOF4a3-OfA8AkpHb789sNknHYGS2c04dwW9Z6xiPAhyphenhyphenWmPFXUkRYVYZC8PFeZFdujYS_arw/s1600/IMG_9674.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig1yL3LnDfxQEwXO9NAkJ23ao-CxJuNrsaH5s-MWOQzGrtrLRpReMrOcLdwn6ZVhOYXfaGfOF4a3-OfA8AkpHb789sNknHYGS2c04dwW9Z6xiPAhyphenhyphenWmPFXUkRYVYZC8PFeZFdujYS_arw/s320/IMG_9674.JPG" width="240" /></a>I have found that being a parent, especially after our loss of the twins, has come with so much happiness. I love <i><u>every.single.moment</u></i>. I can't wait to wake up and see him in the morning. I can't wait to get home from school and hug him. I try to do everything in my power to make this little human happy. His smile lights me up from the inside like I never knew was possible. I cherish every new sound, every new movement, and every one of those 4 brand new teeth. Yes we have bad days, and times where one or both of us just need a sanity break, but overall we have so much joy in our little home because of Zachary. God as truly blessed us, and we are ever so thankful. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-U9Nh2XTlga3xwLhtTvCbELo-bC7rXkgC6snegL94aclp-xIRWFZ6i64U3grrADV_tdcLjesf9dfMjVSU0BD9hDtNOCUNMCzy1GpsgqztXRy0cwiMLSrLG_IFUIr_vL4_-17Z3GiglcU/s1600/IMG_9749.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-U9Nh2XTlga3xwLhtTvCbELo-bC7rXkgC6snegL94aclp-xIRWFZ6i64U3grrADV_tdcLjesf9dfMjVSU0BD9hDtNOCUNMCzy1GpsgqztXRy0cwiMLSrLG_IFUIr_vL4_-17Z3GiglcU/s320/IMG_9749.JPG" width="240" /></a>Zachary is 8 and 1/2 months now. He grows before my very eyes. One moment he is a tiny baby who sleeps all day, and magically he is now this little ball of energy who wakes up smiling every day, standing in his crib and waving to me as I come to pick him up. He sleeps through the night most of the time, 10-12 hours. He has been crawling since Christmas Eve, that was a truly special time. He says all sorts of sounds, but the only coherent one is "Mama" which right now he says to everything but when he says it to me, or calls me, my heart melts in a million puddles. At church a few weeks ago, during worship, he started singing. This baby is so HAPPY, his smile can light up anyones day! He eats all kinds of things, I gave up on making the baby purees about a month ago because he would rather pick up little pieces of whatever we are eating and feed himself. I still spoon feed him yogurt, my homemade applesauce, and some of those Annie's soups. He just loves all food. He will still be formula fed until he is one, but let me tell you I can't wait for the day we don't have to make that stuff as much anymore. Although I can't even think about him turning one in a few months, time goes way too fast when they are this little, doesn't it? I think every stage so far has been my favorite stage, but this age he is right now has been so much fun. He really is our little explorer and it's a honor to get to watch him learn and grow!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Now that he is a little older, I feel that I have time to do some of the things I used to love to do before we had this little monster. I have time to read, I have time to be creative, I have time for friends and fun. Of course, in the earlier months I DID have time for those things, but I chose to sleep instead! Sleep was important to me when I could manage it, because I never knew when I'd be able to sleep again. Anyways, I'm back to blogging about life because it's something I really enjoy! There have been so many things I've wanted to blog about over the past few months, but the thought of actually doing it made me tired ;) Now I think I am ready again. I love sharing our life and little tips about love, life and parenting that I find along the way. So I'll see you again really soon!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
PS: The baby fell back to sleep, Praise the Lord! I'm going to go drink some coffee in silence! ;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEh_P6rWcVIpsr6mbw5LKixQ5w8zATSNZig6ibGvoMYqunTC6ibEJoENbNND3W_PcsXYZ_nBC2PbD7imhonSChXTSVzkL1th5hHBzLEr8cFB_bGYPngA_NcifJNbKuXJlCE1slO7vN1A5N8fFTCrQEuKrQPQGu2BdGdzt_zDWzqQVdn3QQ0X-XfxDfw5e3RCA28iECkBsHQQa01G7u8ph5C4wKOQR1bpEu5szTPLVHSQbMg9ysuVsKT90H7TmM1lCzPH9Kz-pYnt=" imageanchor="1"><img alt="post signature" border="0" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></a></center>
<!-- Blogger automated replacement: "https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi1322.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fu566%2Flaureneshepherd%2FNot%2520So%2520Bland%2520Life%2F595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png&container=blogger&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*" with "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEh_P6rWcVIpsr6mbw5LKixQ5w8zATSNZig6ibGvoMYqunTC6ibEJoENbNND3W_PcsXYZ_nBC2PbD7imhonSChXTSVzkL1th5hHBzLEr8cFB_bGYPngA_NcifJNbKuXJlCE1slO7vN1A5N8fFTCrQEuKrQPQGu2BdGdzt_zDWzqQVdn3QQ0X-XfxDfw5e3RCA28iECkBsHQQa01G7u8ph5C4wKOQR1bpEu5szTPLVHSQbMg9ysuVsKT90H7TmM1lCzPH9Kz-pYnt=" -->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-27904621216611724502015-09-14T22:32:00.002-04:002015-09-14T22:32:58.046-04:00Life, love and things<center style="text-align: left;">
Howdy!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Well, I haven't posted in a while, but we've been a little busy around here with our wee little one. He isn't such a wee one anymore, at almost 4 months, I feel like he is so grown up!!! I know the baby stage lasts a while, but compared to what this whole motherhood thing used to be like a few months ago, he's practically am adult ;) Those first few months are HARD...sleep deprivation should be the ONLY form of torture in the world. It's no joke! Thankfully, Z grew out of that around week & and has been happily sleeping through the night since. Thank you, Jesus!</center>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTUyr1NZ3ILiQ2YStW4WfNIWmglhWQi9LB4iwpmRxmNQFeqLW8D7OA2w4-w68N2k9__2HzuZPqgz9OniKUPUqjBVFW1y4CROrt2YOFrWKlfERccqV6skdtxPCxLihmfK_sWqC6bwZQ-IY/s1600/IMG_6796.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTUyr1NZ3ILiQ2YStW4WfNIWmglhWQi9LB4iwpmRxmNQFeqLW8D7OA2w4-w68N2k9__2HzuZPqgz9OniKUPUqjBVFW1y4CROrt2YOFrWKlfERccqV6skdtxPCxLihmfK_sWqC6bwZQ-IY/s320/IMG_6796.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Oh my goodness, he is so much fun! Yes this whole parenting thing is hard, but we really found our groove around month two. I thought that going back to work last week would craze things up a bit, but honestly it hasn't been too hard. Dave has to watch him all day for 2-3 days a week during the day while I am gone now, and my parents get him for 2-3 days a week too...so they all may have some adjusting to do! Last week went very smoothly though, and I have complete faith in my family while they watch him. I'm happy Dave gets that time with him now, because it's important for Z to have Dad-alone time. My parents are totally happy to watch him too and seem to love it, so far;) It all seems much easier than it should be, I'm waiting for the reality to set in!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBFMjWYy-vfA0Wg_58KMinLxOtT8NbZOoYwceWKWc5WI-Zn6SX-lbXd8MpznQTHCglWvQoa4R2HQ5QYWO4uBUT-DqfmnxLthyphenhyphenRgiQ-9q2MXExIVVJXDN_UeiV_wSlWDNHsBupP2oqoVAU/s1600/IMG_6904.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBFMjWYy-vfA0Wg_58KMinLxOtT8NbZOoYwceWKWc5WI-Zn6SX-lbXd8MpznQTHCglWvQoa4R2HQ5QYWO4uBUT-DqfmnxLthyphenhyphenRgiQ-9q2MXExIVVJXDN_UeiV_wSlWDNHsBupP2oqoVAU/s320/IMG_6904.JPG" width="320" /></a>For me, going <i>to</i> work in the morning is totally hard because I hate being away <i>from him</i> all day, but the work part is easy because I've been doing this job for 5 years now! I love what I do, but being a mommy for 4 hours at night is rough, only because I wish I had more time with him. I know that I am going to miss things, but I am mentally preparing myself for that. And while I may miss his first something or other...there will always be the first time I see it, and it will still be special. We will see. We are contemplating the whole stay-at-home-mom thing, but we have to work a lot out to make that feasible, and of course I LOVE my job so I'm not sure I could give it up. But I get it, we talked about how it would be nice for me to be home with him and be the one raising him and taking care of the house and all those wonderful-sounding domesticated things. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I also know it's very hard to be a SAHM too, so we are praying about it and seeing where God takes us this next year.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg58g1dGpO7A0PL5PESok9cdmXNb1fOyKj1DJ-OBklKz0Y3VGfzipmTqnM-vECw34yBgUFC9AC-sBEWdKHqa7Xqp1qtIC4fpHvP5rOViKvhTeQNCwIKZpzsCl2vABq1tERDddXtKRh-VaM/s1600/IMG_6651.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg58g1dGpO7A0PL5PESok9cdmXNb1fOyKj1DJ-OBklKz0Y3VGfzipmTqnM-vECw34yBgUFC9AC-sBEWdKHqa7Xqp1qtIC4fpHvP5rOViKvhTeQNCwIKZpzsCl2vABq1tERDddXtKRh-VaM/s320/IMG_6651.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Z is such a fun baby. I just love watching him grow and learn and interact with the world! He has his little "diva" moments of fussing and attitude, but they are much more few and far between than a few months ago. For the most part he is a happy baby, and I just love being a mom. When we lost Jackson {and Lily} last year, the desire to be momma grew so big in my heart, I think in a way that devastating loss prepared me so much more than anything else could have. Now, even when there are hard times or days, I don't sweat it that much because I know how lucky I am to even have this sweet little blessing. It was a hard road getting here, emotionally, and I wake up every morning and look at Z's face and thank Jesus over and over for letting us have him, and keep him. I hope His plan is for us to keep him for a very, very long time!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The direction of the blog will be ebbing and flowing from baby loss and pregnancy after loss to parenting after loss, but also to get back into being ME again. By that I meant home decor, crafts and various projects. I'm finding the ME in me again, after this rough year, and want to embrace it again. I am so excited to see what this new life and new year and new season of our lives brings. There's so much love and happiness in our home again, not that there wasn't before, but the dark clouds aren't so bothersome anymore. Of course, losing our first two babies, our twins, will always be an event that we remember and will forever be imprinted on our hearts, but I think that we have finally found our ways of living with the grief. We aren't so crippled by it anymore, and we owe that to Jesus. He has brought us through a really<i> tough</i> season of life, I honestly don't think I could have done it without Him. Any of it...the loss, the intense grief, emotionally dealing with the pregnancy right after, the anxiety and fear of the unknown...all the way through parenting Z after it all. He carried me, maybe even dragged me, through it at times. I am <i>so</i> grateful! I think the whole experience will help me be better, in everything I do. Hopefully!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUBO-AnROhgO43jB1ELZH2FsUIS0FjbCeSmz9DmI_j9WW2g8VUaswgKVf423xfdZL8P5lDhzyjW4j_658ZaxE1mShIruL75v5fRy-Q31aRFCwks1wIpBLrIZfqXZZ8VcDzl2HAjpshcqc/s1600/IMG_6883.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUBO-AnROhgO43jB1ELZH2FsUIS0FjbCeSmz9DmI_j9WW2g8VUaswgKVf423xfdZL8P5lDhzyjW4j_658ZaxE1mShIruL75v5fRy-Q31aRFCwks1wIpBLrIZfqXZZ8VcDzl2HAjpshcqc/s320/IMG_6883.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I understand that life can't always be butterflies and rainbows now. I know tragedy and grief can strike at anytime. I know that I have limited days with the people I love, even on this Earth myself. That helps me, and shapes me, and gets me through the mundane and the hard times. I really strive to be a better wife, mom, stepmom, daughter, etc, because of it all. It sounds so cliche, but thats the truth. Life is HARD, parenting is HARD, babies are HARD, but I know with my Lord, my family, and my friends I can get through anything. No one is immune, and so life should be all about <i>love</i>, as much as possible!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8E_G2ig2yhxWPFOUZ-pAwZTmRWbBlavuVSRCdoly8G8LmTFr-4Nw3Rr-_lpX4fSFHDb_FVIlMM_0AOKanzbGi45QVS0ZQX6wVJiXvrE_zgksa6nFs-PaVEXYa9-0DSv48CPA_h9sWU8/s1600/IMG_6803.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8E_G2ig2yhxWPFOUZ-pAwZTmRWbBlavuVSRCdoly8G8LmTFr-4Nw3Rr-_lpX4fSFHDb_FVIlMM_0AOKanzbGi45QVS0ZQX6wVJiXvrE_zgksa6nFs-PaVEXYa9-0DSv48CPA_h9sWU8/s320/IMG_6803.JPG" width="240" /></a>I appreciate everyone who has walked through this year with my family and I. I love sharing my life here, I absolutely LOVE sharing Zachary with you, and I hope you continue to enjoy sharing with me and walking on this beautiful journey called life with me! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Cheers!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-15457963092061514572015-07-10T09:52:00.000-04:002015-07-10T09:52:07.416-04:00Your Story: Zachary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijD8QTV_wLp-vIHYolTKdn9z1kjfuESmXvpvXofuvzIY5QK5t2caON18dUdoysp3zL6vQ_1sfi5xxRTM-D7AiQNiClQr0YoINSywrOjWnlb5upl_3-mRFCcWmeFbITEiWSkkHpNgrTqA0/s1600/IMG_4312.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijD8QTV_wLp-vIHYolTKdn9z1kjfuESmXvpvXofuvzIY5QK5t2caON18dUdoysp3zL6vQ_1sfi5xxRTM-D7AiQNiClQr0YoINSywrOjWnlb5upl_3-mRFCcWmeFbITEiWSkkHpNgrTqA0/s400/IMG_4312.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Zachary David Bland. 05/29/15. 8 pounds, 7 ounces. 20 inches long.</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
If you would have told me that one short yet loooooooong year later I would be writing the birth story of my live baby, I don't know what I would have done. I wish I could go back and tell <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/06/god-is-not-done-with-me.html" target="_blank">that Tina</a> that this would be our next chapter, our happy ending AND our bright new beginning. I wish I could tell her that the sadness of <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/08/your-story-part-3.html" target="_blank">losing her baby</a> may never go away or fade, but that she would get stronger and able to live with it and around it. I wish I could tell her that things would not always be so sad or look so depressing. I wish I could tell her that in a years time, she would be holding <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/06/answers_26.html" target="_blank">her rainbow</a> baby...that she would be tired and emotional, but completely head over heels in love with him.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
This is the story of Zachary's birth. It was a long time coming. My pregnancy seemed like the blink of an eye, yet while it was happening it dragged along like one tedious and anxiety ridden ride. Looking back, I had a really great pregnancy. The only problem was my head - the fear and the anxious days and nights, the tears that would come when the dark thoughts would take over. Physically, it was really ok. I was hardly sick in the beginning, I never really felt that huge or gained that much weight, I never got too swollen or retained much water. I had the diabetes and the high blood pressure, but honestly that was all very manageable and both of those issues have resolved themselves for now. My docs seem to think I may always struggle with those problems, but for now I am ok. Mostly by the end I was just tired. I loved being pregnant when I could feel him moving and those days that I felt confident that this baby would make it, that my body would win this time.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The night before my C Section was a little rough. We went out to dinner to Bertucci's, but I barely ate. We tried talking about what Zachary would look like, we tried talking about other things, we tried talking through what would happen the next day...nothing really helped. Sitting there in that restaurant, I remember thinking that I couldn't handle the stress and the emotion of it all. I didn't want to live through another baby dying. I knew that the chances of something bad happening were actually probably <i>very</i> small, but still...when you live through it once, it's hard to <i>not </i>think about it. After our pizza came and I ate like a bird, we paid our check and headed home. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I remember that night being strangely normal for us. We talked with our families about the plan for the next day, we packed our bags, I vacuumed our room while Dave did some chores downstairs - we wanted the house to be clean and ready for us when we returned home, I think we watched some TV but I honestly can't remember what it was. Fixer Upper, I think? I went up to take a bath and got in bed to watch Big Bang (our nightly ritual) and Dave come up and rubbed my feet and back. We prayed and prayed. I was surprisingly tired, and I think I was asleep by midnight. I slept through the night, I don't even think I woke up to pee, it was a miracle. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The next morning, our alarms went off at 5am. It was the day!!! I remember the excitement running through me, taking over the stress and the fear like waves. I was going to meet my baby! I got in the shower and sat there for about 30 minutes, praying and listening to United and just trying to visualize me in recovery with Zachary and my family all around me. That picture, that happy vision, got me through the whole thing. If I focused on that, everything else sort of melted away. Dave got up and got ready, we did some last minute things around the house, then we fed and kissed Frodo and were out of the house by 6:45. We had to be up at the birth center by 7:00. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The day was perfect. It was sunny and the skies were a beautiful blue. I remember seeing the sunrise over Route 24 as we turned to go the Upper Chesapeake and thinking that it was so lovely, and I told Dave that I thought that was Jackson's sign...telling us that we were going to be ok that day. Dave put on the song "Rest in you" by United and we prayed some more, and by the end of the song we were parked in the garage and ready to go in. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I told Dave I didn't think I could do it. He, once again, threatened to drag me in there, that he would if he had to. We were having our baby that day! We walked into the birth center and had to sit while someone else checked in. Mom and Dad came early to sit with us, and finally we were ready to be admitted. It felt so surreal, and I pushed out the memories of when we had to do that same process knowing we wouldn't be bringing a baby home. Then, the lady that checked us in said we were to go into triage. I kissed mom and dad and told them I'd see them soon, the stress on their faces was obvious too - they knew I'd be ok but the fact that I was going into surgery was hard for them. Mom said she wanted to be right there, in that room, with me as much as she could be while I was going through it. I told her to go home, to rest. She had barely slept the night before, and Dave was with me, I had to convince her we'd be ok. I told her I'd need her to be awake and alert for Zachary, because we'd both be very tired and someone would need to hold him all afternoon;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
As soon as we walked into our room, our nurse popped in. Jesus has a very funny sense of humor, because it was the very same nurse that checked us in when we had Jackson. The nurse we didn't like, that didn't acknowledge our baby's death and who asked us a ton of questions as I was choking on tears and trying to grasp the fact our baby was gone. Dave looked at me as if to say, "I will go and get us a new nurse immediately." When she left the room briefly I told him no. I said that we had her for a reason, and I was willing to see that reason through. I am glad I did. This time around, she was as sweet as can be. She was calming and peaceful, and reassured me every step of the way through the prep, the surgery and the recovery. I'm glad we had her and have a better memory.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9gLfVrVPsFKQyCo80gg7YJCZENImZWC7IRNze5u0QNq7tbGc_2jtVu5Xva4cTQAf42cHwvWqtJl5AQB7zpqoPq-GKE2G8GYcjo6VTQqE1B2r0Cs35Pj9IAqjh-2M4quVle2nwzN-Y2xQ/s1600/IMG_5146.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9gLfVrVPsFKQyCo80gg7YJCZENImZWC7IRNze5u0QNq7tbGc_2jtVu5Xva4cTQAf42cHwvWqtJl5AQB7zpqoPq-GKE2G8GYcjo6VTQqE1B2r0Cs35Pj9IAqjh-2M4quVle2nwzN-Y2xQ/s320/IMG_5146.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Dave and I in triage, prepping for surgery...</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Another nurse came in to help with the prep, and she did my IV this time around (with Jackson, my nurse that needed redeeming had to stick me about 8 times to get it right! Thank goodness someone else did it this time) For a C Section prep there is no room for modesty!! They mad me strip right down in the gown but flipped it all the way up to shave my tummy and surrounding areas, feel the baby for position, strap me to a monitor and a bunch of other things. That was just the beginning of me understanding that when you have a baby, everyone is really all up in your business.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Dr B came in and we reminded him, per his request the day before, to check Z's head position in an ultrasound to make sure he was still head down (since he had flipped back and forth within a week!) so it was really sweet to get to see him on the screen just about an hour before we met him in real life. I remember Dr. B saying something like, "See ya real soon, mom!" as he was moving the wand over my belly. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself and talk me through what would happen in the OR. He was really sweet, and had a really thick accent, maybe Russian or Ukrainian? He totally reminded me of someone on Alias! We asked him some questions and then he told us he would see us in the OR. All too soon, 9:00 came around, go time. My nurse came in and had me get up and wheel out my IV. Dave had his own "nurse" to help him prep and guide him down to the OR. The problem with c sections is that your husband can't go in with you at first. I had to walk down that hallway and into that room with my nurse, without him by my side. They all assured me that he would be in there in about 10-15 minutes, but that was a looooooong time to go without him, especially with all scared I was, on top of how jittery I get in hospitals.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I have never been in an OR before. It was terrifying. A small room that looks like a box, cold, no windows, with the scariest machines and tools around. As I walked in there, guided by my nurse, I burst into tears. All the nurses in there swarmed around me, helped me up on the table, and the one OR nurse came and put her arms around me and stroked my head and back and told me to cry it out until I relaxed. The anesthesiologist came in and got started right away, these people don't waste anytime. The mood of the room was happy, and relaxed, and that helped me calm down. They all were wondering why I was so stressed out, so I told them...last year I lost my baby, he died. They all comforted me and told me they were sorry, but that this baby was alive and well, and I'd be meeting him soon. As the doc put my spinal in, the sweet nurse kept her arms around me. I hardly felt a thing, just a pinch and then the slight cold sensation running up and down my body, and then my legs went numb.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Within a minute, I was laid out on the table, the blue screen was up in front of my face and my arms were laid out in a "T". I asked if Dave could come in yet and they said not quite yet. Dr. B came in, all in his surgery garb and flashed his badge at me so I knew it was him. He comforted me and told me that Zachary would be out soon! They prepped my belly, I felt some tugging, they hadn't cut in yet but I guess they were feeling for the baby and rubbing that surgery stuff on there. I started to feel sick and the docs rushed to get more meds in me, and the nausea passed quickly. The doc told me that was very common.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLD8b-N0xwqvDN3DBmSRdPM5gHXofhx2F4rzkCPJsHzpVAKtHwX-4D5GVyJZETm5MMLlNshjGE47dsPeHT0SDojFTidjHy20SZPaAGtR8R1HqiRtQIYwcMU9Yl2gSFDmwhYxqu5l3VFM/s1600/IMG_5147.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLD8b-N0xwqvDN3DBmSRdPM5gHXofhx2F4rzkCPJsHzpVAKtHwX-4D5GVyJZETm5MMLlNshjGE47dsPeHT0SDojFTidjHy20SZPaAGtR8R1HqiRtQIYwcMU9Yl2gSFDmwhYxqu5l3VFM/s320/IMG_5147.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Dave in his outfit! Waiting to come in to the OR</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Finally, Dave was allowed to come in. He was all decked out in his protective garb. I felt the meds coursing through my body. They started the surgery, and sort of talked us through some of it. I didnt feel anything, thankfully. I always had this fear I'd be the one to feel it. I kept asking Dr. B if Zachary was ok, if he was alive. I think I may have asked it a dozen times. Each time, they all said he was. Dr B even said once that he was fine, but they were trying to find the rest of him, lol! He was so far up in my belly, they had to vacuum him out I think, which I didnt even know they could do in a c section. In hindsight, I am glad we elected to have him this way, because he would have never come out of me even if I was induced. It would've taken 40+ weeks for him to come down far enough to be birthed the regular way, and with all my risk factors, that may have been too late. God was always watching out for us. This was the right decision.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzfK2NMD52jyEvkRxpygxDYFF3oGwedRwfC5ZyF3IhJx0g6aAoit9Uqi5PmMOeOd7cHh1L-sSvhLIBoAlhyphenhyphen-sk1oBY1QDxYFDUYUzzMWJizK4POssJejiI2XOLBeJ4MhVyQQBQZhfMzG0/s1600/IMG_5148.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzfK2NMD52jyEvkRxpygxDYFF3oGwedRwfC5ZyF3IhJx0g6aAoit9Uqi5PmMOeOd7cHh1L-sSvhLIBoAlhyphenhyphen-sk1oBY1QDxYFDUYUzzMWJizK4POssJejiI2XOLBeJ4MhVyQQBQZhfMzG0/s320/IMG_5148.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Me, scared but ready. Let's do this...</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I felt some serious tugging and pulling, and my body was moving around a lot but again, I didnt feel much else. I became very nauseous two other times during the whole process, and they fixed that quickly. Dave told me afterwards that one of those times was very scary, but he didn't tell me at that time. He was watching my vitals and my BP dropped crazy low, and I lost a ton of blood. The doc told us after that I lost twice as much as normal for this type of surgery, but that they got it under control right away. That was the reason for me feeling so sick. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I kept saying out loud, "I just want to hear him cry!" and finally, at 9:42, he did. I heard a nurse yell, "Happy Birthday!!!" and I even looked over at the digital clock on the wall and saw the 9:42 as they announced it. He came screaming into this world, just as I wanted. Dr. B popped him over the screen and yelled, "Hi mom! I'll be right back!!!" and my first words were, "Oh my, he is so gross!!" Everyone laughed. Z was covered in blood and all that normal birth stuff, but that first peek of him was the best thing I'd ever seen. Dave kept saying how he was so cute and so small, 8 pounds and 7 ounces, and I told him to go...go over there and be with him as they cleaned him up. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0o8l4e5EIf6XgoVNAXH21Wu-JYD2l3bUF5WXv7lS6H3dZNBari57X4xK0X2nLrnqsqQ49NwTV_HwLeFnGtj1fN8Ukv3hZ-hxQUb9eBz0mNHCt7_nEJooF2XY4vImI-6BVLQtSASlq9o/s1600/IMG_4287.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0o8l4e5EIf6XgoVNAXH21Wu-JYD2l3bUF5WXv7lS6H3dZNBari57X4xK0X2nLrnqsqQ49NwTV_HwLeFnGtj1fN8Ukv3hZ-hxQUb9eBz0mNHCt7_nEJooF2XY4vImI-6BVLQtSASlq9o/s320/IMG_4287.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>He's here!!</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTHvCkB0vJNXSwm3AiBUSL_q67K_rblk0g7I8LJSVzuvUnxkKLyKnv67Lk-7TObz-B5MX_0uoEphGibMfOc7ZQhpCiE1dsoDCWA0p1KlkKpN0uyz5m-3woHrgqdmKx_SGqRShhtOxOxWs/s1600/IMG_4289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTHvCkB0vJNXSwm3AiBUSL_q67K_rblk0g7I8LJSVzuvUnxkKLyKnv67Lk-7TObz-B5MX_0uoEphGibMfOc7ZQhpCiE1dsoDCWA0p1KlkKpN0uyz5m-3woHrgqdmKx_SGqRShhtOxOxWs/s320/IMG_4289.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>All cleaned up</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I could hear Zachary screaming and the tears came running down my face. That cry was the most perfect sound in the world!!! I had a baby!! He was alive!! Again I asked if he was ok, if he looked healthy, and the nurses all said he was healthy and just the most beautiful thing ever. His APGAR scores were 8 and then 9, basically the best we could ask for. I saw Dave round the corner back to me and he was holding him. He put Zachary right up to my face and I kissed his cheek as he screamed, it was the most beautiful and surreal moment of my entire existence. I just met my son face to face for the first time. It's all I have dreamed of this past year.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnKcO8aXIqcPMTsnqJ2xfRHcwFqlytYkEM6pMHzElZLqbCJpwE_UK0cr2qsA5ePj6m8CluwVgQNxf-aIFSiqQPmW_YIFOAcNVi-AmYlCotn1DrLZrgNxyK3Yj5f3z490i27XVfoWiDOq8/s1600/IMG_4290.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnKcO8aXIqcPMTsnqJ2xfRHcwFqlytYkEM6pMHzElZLqbCJpwE_UK0cr2qsA5ePj6m8CluwVgQNxf-aIFSiqQPmW_YIFOAcNVi-AmYlCotn1DrLZrgNxyK3Yj5f3z490i27XVfoWiDOq8/s320/IMG_4290.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Daddy holding him for the first time</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
They had to fix me up a bit before I could hold him, so Dave sat with him by my head for a few minutes. Then, the nurses came over and unbuttoned my gown so we could do skin to skin and they placed him on my chest for the first time. Z was finally calm, sleepy, and it felt like the most natural thing in the entire world, having him lay there on me.</center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCfH0Btw51-ruNhTUK802ojZUaiRtRWpHmk2O6SyLaYm9bGlB2Wze5Nkvx_6QsE7CIbMcwGuctGeRYPh-STSYnr2oQ2eCDTDo124VAX9TLqbawyCa8HtPfuJL0mjgchWSipG6SFjoTlDs/s1600/IMG_5151.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCfH0Btw51-ruNhTUK802ojZUaiRtRWpHmk2O6SyLaYm9bGlB2Wze5Nkvx_6QsE7CIbMcwGuctGeRYPh-STSYnr2oQ2eCDTDo124VAX9TLqbawyCa8HtPfuJL0mjgchWSipG6SFjoTlDs/s320/IMG_5151.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Our first pic with Zachary</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Getting him out only took about 15 minutes, but stitching me back up took longer. I think we were done all of that by 10:30, they transferred me over to my bed, and wheeled me to the recovery room. I was surprisingly awake and aware, and all too eager to get my hands on Zachary again. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The next few hours were a bit of a blur. Dave went and got Ashley and she came to meet her brother. They gave him his first bath while I took pics from my bed. My parents came back, Dave's mom and Grammy came back, and Jonathan and Krystal. Everyone fell in love with him immediately, who couldn't? We told everyone to meet us back in the room in a few hours, I had to stay in recovery to be monitored. They all went to get lunch. The lactation consultant came in and I breastfed him for the very first time. It was so wonderful, it breaks my heart that we couldn't keep it up like that, but at least we had that sweet memory. He needed a lot of help latching on and staying latched, but after we got it he stayed there for about 45 minutes. It was perfect.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQGZNopCZBZL_d1OGGl7m61cp6U_YXa5kxvCfsCmA_DyKBtDUMZWQNopdRq2pD7IUfDXAgCXEUuxRBqDUqysQnAKrNK_4sFWCkHbgVc7VTnOTl14kpVtDXO4_ZFWuC4n0pLQPs-QseWTM/s1600/IMG_4291.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQGZNopCZBZL_d1OGGl7m61cp6U_YXa5kxvCfsCmA_DyKBtDUMZWQNopdRq2pD7IUfDXAgCXEUuxRBqDUqysQnAKrNK_4sFWCkHbgVc7VTnOTl14kpVtDXO4_ZFWuC4n0pLQPs-QseWTM/s320/IMG_4291.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Our first family pic. Don't mind my swollen arms and face! Surgery will do that to ya!</i></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfwjc7p4cUgBWkQNyMVyUZ59QGCLsZFZZ-LNJ1XDU39_exhWg79-qvjLqCtgtf_ZerwvbMJk0oLIjicKOd1RoegXqZjGiQuwlRKQspo6S_cO42W-mxAFP4SE4RUBSaaNVeEmJFtUBk6_0/s1600/IMG_4308.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfwjc7p4cUgBWkQNyMVyUZ59QGCLsZFZZ-LNJ1XDU39_exhWg79-qvjLqCtgtf_ZerwvbMJk0oLIjicKOd1RoegXqZjGiQuwlRKQspo6S_cO42W-mxAFP4SE4RUBSaaNVeEmJFtUBk6_0/s320/IMG_4308.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Ashley and Daddy giving Z a bath.</i></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJy9NAqpNW6wn2x60MMxMgbbNXaBRJb-KxJqL-7IzQ4ZElTECEax7JKxoioIauzg6XjZ3IEO2Wvnsn1VTf-eD35DBCmvpA4KgogI1KzEKg0TGhOxv_X_I91gnxhpIN3Yc51d9fPUXeICI/s1600/IMG_4315.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJy9NAqpNW6wn2x60MMxMgbbNXaBRJb-KxJqL-7IzQ4ZElTECEax7JKxoioIauzg6XjZ3IEO2Wvnsn1VTf-eD35DBCmvpA4KgogI1KzEKg0TGhOxv_X_I91gnxhpIN3Yc51d9fPUXeICI/s320/IMG_4315.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Recovery from birth with Mommy.</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
When it was time to move to my room, we asked which room we would be in so we could tell our family. My nurse told us, "14". We looked at each other. Room 14 was the very same room I gave birth to Jackson in, I'll never forget it. Again, Dave asked if I wanted a different room and I said no. This was happening for a reason. God wanted us to have a happy memory in there, and maybe even give Zachary a sweet connection with his angel brother. Just like God wanted us to give that nurse another chance. I'm glad we didn't argue about it, because my memories of that day are sweet and wonderful and I wouldn't want it any other way.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We got into our room and our families returned. Everyone gathered around Zachary's bassinet and took turns passing him around. He did great, no crying at all that day and endured the baby passing game beautifully. As everyone was together and holding him and talking, I took that mental snap shot. It was the picture I had visualized in my head all week, of my family and I rejoicing together, drinking in this new little being and all being euphorically happy that he was finally here. My body did it this time around, it was healthy enough and strong enough to build this baby and get him here safely, all with the help of God and lots of prayer! A new baby is such a joyous occasion, and a baby after a loss is somewhat of a heightened experience. Zachary is someone we have waited a long time to meet and hold, and there he was finally, here with us and ready to take us on the most amazing adventure of our entire lives.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-AcfV2OSb39QA5B2m9ynBm0-TBbel1hfG-AItFcKrDTS2_YvPrWB-AMy5A8P7fpJSR7XP2G_XtkHwu-PToMMkaCx-B1QJnlqPNcryR88efazRzVbe5J7EBlQNiq3l6-JDYNcAEkSUOjs/s1600/IMG_4317.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-AcfV2OSb39QA5B2m9ynBm0-TBbel1hfG-AItFcKrDTS2_YvPrWB-AMy5A8P7fpJSR7XP2G_XtkHwu-PToMMkaCx-B1QJnlqPNcryR88efazRzVbe5J7EBlQNiq3l6-JDYNcAEkSUOjs/s320/IMG_4317.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>My world!</i></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVdEJwfFYKcPI6b-UazPc5cZw8l3C1S_GtqVQGPjavnZM0YpeoIrmv2qUOrpTy9agR33XRDq4_KZ0lcNSAtEw4oZyg_YWgVzPiwhdCe0d6In5_SWtugPJ8Q6xansX2SWHhog5LWdUEgtU/s1600/IMG_4318.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVdEJwfFYKcPI6b-UazPc5cZw8l3C1S_GtqVQGPjavnZM0YpeoIrmv2qUOrpTy9agR33XRDq4_KZ0lcNSAtEw4oZyg_YWgVzPiwhdCe0d6In5_SWtugPJ8Q6xansX2SWHhog5LWdUEgtU/s320/IMG_4318.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Proud Janou and G Pop</i></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyRHuEIlXnj9uV7G_cUyw_xk04AQ0ckTk6cuj0moB3uxHWstEyE7PCoulztheA-sOhJoqzRXG6YnKhNyUM87EtePBz6R8UZwpilisjninbYOAVUdGJ3A6jSzoofwA1w8VpzoI-Uif1k7o/s1600/IMG_4328.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyRHuEIlXnj9uV7G_cUyw_xk04AQ0ckTk6cuj0moB3uxHWstEyE7PCoulztheA-sOhJoqzRXG6YnKhNyUM87EtePBz6R8UZwpilisjninbYOAVUdGJ3A6jSzoofwA1w8VpzoI-Uif1k7o/s320/IMG_4328.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Aunt Krystal and Uncle Jonathan</i></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOvrF-_AXVIn_OR_e6F0ZieL79JycwFpdN9BIIZfESReWuvtZY7iL_A6nzRkPJxY_Elr0VR8A3Zprz9wqAs8kFYn9_ZtnVLb4HpeYUGjXlo9SHCgHgmKPuONcIV4o_7wN21MhWZdm6Jwc/s1600/IMG_4329.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOvrF-_AXVIn_OR_e6F0ZieL79JycwFpdN9BIIZfESReWuvtZY7iL_A6nzRkPJxY_Elr0VR8A3Zprz9wqAs8kFYn9_ZtnVLb4HpeYUGjXlo9SHCgHgmKPuONcIV4o_7wN21MhWZdm6Jwc/s320/IMG_4329.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Grandma helping with a change of diaper</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We love you Zachary, and the day you were born is one of the happiest memories all of us will cherish forever. Your birth was a miracle, you are a miracle. All that anxiety and fear, all those sleepless nights and wondering if we would make it...it was all worth it! God got us all through it!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It's hard to believe that woman have healthy babies all the time, hard when you've been through what we have gone through, but this is the norm, not that. Our docs and team were awesome, and I am so happy we stuck with them and trusted them with Zachary and my well being. I couldn't have asked for a better experience, or a better birth story this time around. I'll remember it and cherish it for the rest of my life. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The next few days after his birth were a little rough, but that is another story for another time! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQ1tUOw_tqt3oQAVljDIE-q5B872DMMpRPU8o8e9DFU-xgPvEd-z-2KgABBjS5-n5Os5EeSP1gPU8-FV2v7195jcUGw_tYVTcMhPGN7bp9kQ0aeiKDVY7-tDhSrxZKel_CvYvcf2kOB4/s1600/IMG_5144.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQ1tUOw_tqt3oQAVljDIE-q5B872DMMpRPU8o8e9DFU-xgPvEd-z-2KgABBjS5-n5Os5EeSP1gPU8-FV2v7195jcUGw_tYVTcMhPGN7bp9kQ0aeiKDVY7-tDhSrxZKel_CvYvcf2kOB4/s400/IMG_5144.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Z and I, earlier this week...</i></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Thank you, Jesus, for giving us our Rainbow baby!!!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-4447280326842048382015-06-26T12:26:00.002-04:002015-06-26T12:26:33.774-04:004 weeks in...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtLJQOxk1lvtX2_zMfKa3AbHsvfcvwnpliCdEbn2K3VBgQ9CAZCTqoreSsMEVCt3kiZrLi9W_q5-40iK3JsyCUHNrABZEzPlbAo6mhNCjJWFyE7Wz9YsHNBpNDTnvMYNykXTTxfRCuTzA/s1600/IMG_4774.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtLJQOxk1lvtX2_zMfKa3AbHsvfcvwnpliCdEbn2K3VBgQ9CAZCTqoreSsMEVCt3kiZrLi9W_q5-40iK3JsyCUHNrABZEzPlbAo6mhNCjJWFyE7Wz9YsHNBpNDTnvMYNykXTTxfRCuTzA/s400/IMG_4774.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Play time with Dad.</div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Here we are. Four weeks into life with our little Rainbow, Zachary. Time really does fly.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So how is it, you ask? Oh my. I have so many answers to that question!!! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Amazing. </i> This little boy is mine. My body grew him and nourished him for 9 months plus 2.5 weeks. Zachary is a blend of mom and dad. He has Dave's ears and nose, my lips and eyes (I think!) and definitely my personality, as far as we can tell. I look at him and still can't believe that a few short weeks ago, he was in my belly! How did he fit there? How did we both get through this, alive? Is this baby really mine,<i> to keep forever?</i>!?! I'm amazed. Amazed at how God blessed us, and how God helped my body and mind and spirit get through this, at how beautiful this baby boy of ours is. I am amazed.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWv3X6J_GRpDXT_D3-dXB0gkb3wokmdoltLSm3UayCWpJ07H3S8gbEUKl46xN_PVK3IqyF3_cN2H2Oznk_T8YaRvp2tKBmYwBJhqB1GVK1Ko9p9QunC7psU1X-hun2xhJfrC-63L2F_E/s1600/IMG_4866.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWv3X6J_GRpDXT_D3-dXB0gkb3wokmdoltLSm3UayCWpJ07H3S8gbEUKl46xN_PVK3IqyF3_cN2H2Oznk_T8YaRvp2tKBmYwBJhqB1GVK1Ko9p9QunC7psU1X-hun2xhJfrC-63L2F_E/s400/IMG_4866.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Do you like my kicks?</div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Hard.</i> Taking care of a newborn is a full time job. For <i>two</i> people. I can't imagine how some women do this alone, whether they are single moms (God bless you all) or if their hubbies have to go back to work right away, this is a tough job and if Dave wasn't here to help me I think I'd go crazy. Especially that first week after recovering from surgery and Zachary being jaundice...it was really, really tough. He has just a few days left before returning to work and I am just now feeling like I may be able to manage life with this tiny human on my own for a few days as he works and sleeps. Zach has turned out to be quite a fussy little thing, I'm not ready to call it "colic" just yet, but if it gets worse, that is what we may be dealing with. He cries, a lot. It's almost like if he isn't sleeping, he is crying, sometimes for no reason. We check his diaper, we feed him until bursting, we cuddle, we swaddle, we play, we quite down, we sing...nothing really helps. It's hard doing all we can and still hearing him cry, it's heartbreaking. And it's hard not to worry, but I remind myself that he is a newborn...and they are know for their sleeping-eating-crying-pooping cycles. Still, some days are tough! I'm reading the Happiest Baby on the Block and the 5 s's have been saving us all. Poor little guy, he still wants to be in mommy's tummy! I know we post a lot of happy baby pics, and pics that make you think our world is so nice and pleasant, but I want to share reality with you!! Life with this baby is hard!! But I am learning that it doesn't matter, because all it takes is one sweet look, or one almost-smile, and all the hard melts away...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhABoF3z9X3QL8DfSvqe1LUKolsAXXF_5SlAw7_2Qw_y3K6OZIkzVxLr5yaQfpz9eklTm4f3thNdR9AuazwGjzslurgoPABwCvjmMhbuZ5vGNZY4iPucIDc6QDaBKzsgKHCUcWz3gqTm6g/s1600/IMG_4705.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhABoF3z9X3QL8DfSvqe1LUKolsAXXF_5SlAw7_2Qw_y3K6OZIkzVxLr5yaQfpz9eklTm4f3thNdR9AuazwGjzslurgoPABwCvjmMhbuZ5vGNZY4iPucIDc6QDaBKzsgKHCUcWz3gqTm6g/s400/IMG_4705.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Rocking with "Janou" - my mom.</div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Fun.</i> Every new little look. Every new little movement! Some of Zach's moves I actually recognize...he will do something and I'll be like..."oh THAT is what you were doing in there!" I'd feel that same move in my belly. He hiccups all the time, and for the last two weeks of my pregnancy he would get the hiccups every day. It's so cute! As the days go by, he is awake and alert more and more. His eyes will stay open and he will make new and adorable faces. It's so much fun to watch him grow and see new things that he can do. He is smiling on purpose!!! He smiles involuntarily all the time, but they other day I went to peak on him in the Rock n Play and BAM, a smile came out. It melted my heart!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd6V4_H4HobSLFX1JrlOy8rY3xmJZJdAFCQV8ZeGKRbVz2D7ehL07cGVLiKPmwfUKgjP8nmT_9UmtqfL-7-ICbeK6o5xsRZ83zR4MgHlZfUvquUFMSrOEneLH-gFRjB8dAbCQ0lkdF6XQ/s1600/IMG_4782.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd6V4_H4HobSLFX1JrlOy8rY3xmJZJdAFCQV8ZeGKRbVz2D7ehL07cGVLiKPmwfUKgjP8nmT_9UmtqfL-7-ICbeK6o5xsRZ83zR4MgHlZfUvquUFMSrOEneLH-gFRjB8dAbCQ0lkdF6XQ/s400/IMG_4782.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Mommy and baby, both very sleepy!</div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>
Frustrating.</i> By this, I mean breastfeeding. I had this beautiful image of me nursing a sweet baby. easy peasy. Everyone told me that newborns can be hard, but I never really heard that breastfeeding could be <i>such. a. struggle</i>!! I know it isn't hard for everyone, and I guess the women who do struggle with it may be afraid to admit it because there is such a HUGE push for breastfeeding. Every where I go, "breast is best, please breast feed, are you breast feeding? YOU NEED TO BREAST FEED." <i>It's best for him. It's best for you. </i> Etc. Etc. Well, news flash...not everyone CAN do it. Me included. Oh believe me, I am STILL trying. Even though plenty of my friends and all of my family have basically said, "Give it up Tina! You are driving yourself crazy!" See...Z and I got off on a rough start. He breastfed right after birth in recovery, but then...I was tired, he was tired...my nurse at the hospital that night kept telling us to do it, but never really helped us or taught me any techniques or anything. His sugar dropped overnight, he was too tired to latch. By the time the LC got to me the next morning, he was jaundice. He HAD to eat. Time to pump him with formula. Ugh. It was such a disaster, and we have never caught up. We had to stick to a strict 2 hour feeding schedule, had to be formula so we knew he was getting nutrition and exactly how much, but I could breastfeed around that. Um...except for the fact it took almost 2 hours to feed him through the syringes, and we had to nap, and eat too...and then it would be time to feed him again, but he had to be under the bili lights as much as possible... </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
...long story short, now his appetite is so big that I know my body will never catch up. I still try, and he will get a bit of my milk here and there, but he never learned how to latch onto me and I have to use one of those little medela shields. He gets very frustrated, and I cry almost every time. It's tough because I WANT to do it so badly, but it just doesn't seem like it is going to work the way I want it. I've talked to LC's and our pediatrician and they all say to keep going...but it does drive me crazy, and it drives Z crazy, and I know it drives Dave crazy to see me so upset when it doesn't work the way I want. Still...I wish it would. We try a little in the morning now, and then again at night before bed, so at least he is still getting SOME breast milk, but not the amount I want. Le sigh...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn26tT4H6oRk2LeCFKCge34LqnrV0z-SNht3y1vlcSNMeU1wfSIUSl6Q1UfaM6lMVd04hK1V3bkKaL5-dduyvMGiQKOx1T89t-Y0RrIo8TK3a9y6J8v8cq2k39FEJ361BB-1352uvjauY/s1600/IMG_4809.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn26tT4H6oRk2LeCFKCge34LqnrV0z-SNht3y1vlcSNMeU1wfSIUSl6Q1UfaM6lMVd04hK1V3bkKaL5-dduyvMGiQKOx1T89t-Y0RrIo8TK3a9y6J8v8cq2k39FEJ361BB-1352uvjauY/s400/IMG_4809.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Time for bed!</div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Tiring.</i> Parenting a newborn feels a bit akin to swimming in the ocean and trying to keep your head out of the water. It's exhausting! Caring for this new little human, his whole world revolves around us and our whole world revolves around him. Feeding, changing, consoling, cuddling, playing, and then doing it all over again. No one can really prepare a new mom for how much work it is. Thankfully, Zachary sleeps awesome at night. We have to wake him up to feed him, now only every 3 hours, and usually after some rocking and cuddles, he goes right back to sleep! I hope he keeps that up forever!!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPY3LGpSWxIBpNgNuax5g5bMGqFUuM9FXX9VY1HGcakweDuPwS-mH4Hf5OwFasEmEXUdyYfELGBBlYHqfn_RZWhPkZzmTqSJsmJGVrbP26q9qWsN0-Knb62SN7y7vt5O6my8P07QC2WKM/s1600/IMG_4789.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPY3LGpSWxIBpNgNuax5g5bMGqFUuM9FXX9VY1HGcakweDuPwS-mH4Hf5OwFasEmEXUdyYfELGBBlYHqfn_RZWhPkZzmTqSJsmJGVrbP26q9qWsN0-Knb62SN7y7vt5O6my8P07QC2WKM/s400/IMG_4789.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Grandma (Dave's mom) loving on Z.</div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Heaven.</i> Honestly, having him here is Heaven on Earth. At least for me, right now. No matter how hard it gets, or how frustrated we are, or how many tears I cry (and cry and cry) I can't thank God enough that Zachary is <i>here</i>! That he is mine!! That I can hold him and love on him and be with him as much as I want. After losing Jackson, my arms felt so empty which was totally foreign to me, because I never ached for a baby before him. My arms and heart have been aching for a year now. They still do ache a little, and that feeling will always belong to Jackson, never to be quenched because he is not here. But, my arms are FULL. This "Rainbow" baby of ours came screaming into this world to fill them. I look at him and see God's promise being fulfilled. Dave & I, and Ashley and our entire family, we have been <b>abundantly BLESSED</b> by Him through Zachary. God has allowed us to bring home this beautiful bundle, and has entrusted us to love him and take care of him and raise him. I feel so, so blessed. I thank God for the journey he has brought me on this past year, even though my heart was so broken. It led me here, to this moment, and this little sweet baby. I can't even believe it. I'm grinning ear to ear! I know the journey isn't over, and who knows what else God has in store for us, but if I have learned anything this year, it is that He can bring us through everything. He can turn bad into good. He can turn sorrow into joy. He can turn tears into big smiles. He can use everything that happens to us to help us understand Him more. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
There's still so much to write about, but I'll save it for another day. I'm working on Z's birth story, so hopefully I'll post that in a few days. It takes me about 4 days to write a post now, because there is a tiny human that demands my attention quite a bit of the day;) </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Thanks to EVERYONE who helped us get through the pregnancy, the birth, the aftermath of the birth, and those of you who are still praying for us as we figure out this whole baby thing. We couldn't have done this without you, and I really mean that. I wish I could kiss you all. Or throw a party for you. Maybe we will? How fun would that be?! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Cheers!</center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Ftarget%3Dpost%3BpostID%3D444728032684204838%3BonPublishedMenu%3Dposts%3BonClosedMenu%3Dposts%3BpostNum%3D0%3Bsrc%3Dlink&media=https%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-lOiBaa-jYYk%2FVY163YcDApI%2FAAAAAAAAE9Q%2F_HKXEA7g764%2Fs400%2FIMG_4789.jpg&xm=h&xv=sa1.36&xuid=XhgAii5rSj0n&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 3602px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Ftarget%3Dpost%3BpostID%3D444728032684204838%3BonPublishedMenu%3Dposts%3BonClosedMenu%3Dposts%3BpostNum%3D0%3Bsrc%3Dlink&media=https%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-lOiBaa-jYYk%2FVY163YcDApI%2FAAAAAAAAE9Q%2F_HKXEA7g764%2Fs400%2FIMG_4789.jpg&xm=h&xv=sa1.36&xuid=XhgAii5rSj0n&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 3602px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-51955021780388779642015-05-28T20:55:00.000-04:002015-05-28T20:55:00.761-04:00Thoughts & Nursery<center style="text-align: left;">
Tomorrow is the big day!!! At 7:00 am, we are getting up, heading to the hospital, and having a baby around 9:00. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'm trying <i>not </i>to think of the million things that could go wrong. I'm trying <i>not</i> to think about the last time when we walked out of that hospital, broken, without a baby. I'm trying to have hope and faith. I'm trying to constantly remind myself to give this awful, extreme fear to God. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It's <i>very </i>hard, you guys. It really is! I wish I could explain it, or describe how this feels. But then again, I don't want you to feel it! I want you to pray for me, and have tons of hope and faith and love for me! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'm leaning on my own tiny string of hope and faith, and my strong and optimistic husband, and my beautiful and faithful friends and family...but mostly God and His power and LOVE, to get me through this. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
If I think about what I have to go through tomorrow, I become incapacitated with fear. Panic, anxiety attacks, tears, etc. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I know that it's the devil, trying to get me down. I know it's evil forces, trying to steal my joy in this SHOULD BE happy event. It's a raging battle. A crazy, scary storm. Jesus calms it down, but then it starts to rage again. I really want to have joy. I really want to be over-the-moon excited. I really do!! But the thoughts of all that could go wrong...ugh. The curse of pregnancy after loss. It's going to be a long, long night...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Then, I think about the end result. I think about the prize I have waiting for me at the end of this journey. I think about Zachary, and the fact that at this time tomorrow, I could actually be holding him!! I could have a healthy, happy baby in my arms! Surrounded by friends and family. Oh my goodness, what a beautiful picture that is!! <i> I want it so badly.</i> I am praying so hard that I get that miracle. That beautiful blessing. I hope that at some point in the last year, I've done something good, somewhere, to deserve it. <i>I pray that this is our abundant blessing!</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Today we have filled our day with last minute things. We had our pre op visit with Dr. Bellantoni. He was so calming and so reassuring, and that was very helpful for me. I'm so nervous about having a C section, but I know millions of woman do this every day, and I know it's the healthiest way for Zachary to come into this world. I trust God in that, and I trust my doctors, and my own gut feeling.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We had another non stress test at the office today, which Zachary passed just fine. He's alive in there, and doing well. We did some running around, and we ate lunch and dinner out of the house since we will be in the house for a long time after we bring him home. We got some cleaning and organizing done too. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Tonight, we will pack our bags and get things ready for our time at the hospital. I'm cuddling with Frodo, because although Dave will be here on and off a lot over the next few days (my family and his family too) to be with him, I will not be. He will not like that! This cat has no idea what is about to rock his world;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Finally, I wanted share Zachary's nursery. It's not completely done yet, we still have to add a few things here and there, but it's as done as it's going to get for now. I am so happy with how it turned out, it is just perfect!! So here you go...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
As I have said before, the "theme" we wanted was vintage travel/little explorer. We chose this because Dave and I have <i>serious</i> wanderlust, and want to see the whole world together. We want our little guy to have the same craving for travel. We are going to take him everywhere!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWrIsfskSP4FagbBkJJ8sz4SgcJru3OlxIo5HJZfDDN8o7Mlv2aoBq8_NvqsgtmnHrED9KA9Mtv8jFsBhuacNeqciUdemk-hdZl1HVdC3xOscC05g3CwemjDEW681sRN5tqZMpON1fzfU/s1600/IMG_4270.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWrIsfskSP4FagbBkJJ8sz4SgcJru3OlxIo5HJZfDDN8o7Mlv2aoBq8_NvqsgtmnHrED9KA9Mtv8jFsBhuacNeqciUdemk-hdZl1HVdC3xOscC05g3CwemjDEW681sRN5tqZMpON1fzfU/s320/IMG_4270.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
The world decal was a pain to put up, but we love it. I ordered it off Easy. We are going to add some words to this wall too, we just have to pick the perfect things to say:)<br />
<br />
The chest of drawers is from IKEA and let me tell you, it's the best thing we bought for this room. The drawers are roomy and big, and there is tons of room for diapers and clothes and all the millions of things that babies need. I'll share pictures of my organization of that when we get home. The top we will use as a changing table. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX0shAwQpi_WClvLcNi-WNkLmT4s0shJOLMtpDrCM-da9oPxD00ulvKr78-jeeZMxeRd48h7xmkYHue3CG_fP4LTOYgKbHozt2cn-EcXX3a635fslNt_RMmEEPW7Ms1a0uRxYYoMhxIRE/s1600/IMG_4272.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX0shAwQpi_WClvLcNi-WNkLmT4s0shJOLMtpDrCM-da9oPxD00ulvKr78-jeeZMxeRd48h7xmkYHue3CG_fP4LTOYgKbHozt2cn-EcXX3a635fslNt_RMmEEPW7Ms1a0uRxYYoMhxIRE/s320/IMG_4272.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
The crib is a hand-me-down from my sweet friend, Janet. I love it, and I love that we didn't have to pay for a crib! They are expensive!! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ceL8SscqcsYj-8RM-4aQfg7iy-u4TOI52sVYhUweEUqaWwwxlJvhw-rbzJySUhkB_gBhqmCV0XX3jH_fyKw9QEA6nh1TrSZG6ObIcdHkeRJdGwn9CoOSnhanrWKIz8RA9-Kmykqr1CI/s1600/IMG_4273.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ceL8SscqcsYj-8RM-4aQfg7iy-u4TOI52sVYhUweEUqaWwwxlJvhw-rbzJySUhkB_gBhqmCV0XX3jH_fyKw9QEA6nh1TrSZG6ObIcdHkeRJdGwn9CoOSnhanrWKIz8RA9-Kmykqr1CI/s320/IMG_4273.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
These suitcases are from my Mother in law and Ashley. The globe is from my mom. The little chest on top is from a dear friend, Emily. I love the "travel pizazz" they add to the room. One day, they will be useful for storing things too!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqUe1bgrAytURdMKOAbvwx-Slc2vEoUgUxy04jiQhtZnUOBSxyj1K05YpRLd2T2yv8w4ciJbZ-yU6i0ohaZiZTuzuoOcDUbLifixjN2EbuNFRfuP_HPqrOO53zBUDU2FLzSIm-uo151E/s1600/IMG_4274.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqUe1bgrAytURdMKOAbvwx-Slc2vEoUgUxy04jiQhtZnUOBSxyj1K05YpRLd2T2yv8w4ciJbZ-yU6i0ohaZiZTuzuoOcDUbLifixjN2EbuNFRfuP_HPqrOO53zBUDU2FLzSIm-uo151E/s320/IMG_4274.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
The plane hanging from the ceiling is from one of my BFFs, Katie Mac. I built the little white shelves, and filled them with sweet things that friends gave us, books, or pieces we found for the room.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmgX9lwr9AHkt1-YPI9zb5MwWouwCg3ASBCSeuGifLN8VwaIw7NJX-skBMUb9i-IGt6IiuweRTGetkXOHiLQOirKapfiG-HOxtWl0CaFfokOhkjV4hWSyoKH7A4ul-gjknV6DwPRdKsDU/s1600/IMG_4275.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmgX9lwr9AHkt1-YPI9zb5MwWouwCg3ASBCSeuGifLN8VwaIw7NJX-skBMUb9i-IGt6IiuweRTGetkXOHiLQOirKapfiG-HOxtWl0CaFfokOhkjV4hWSyoKH7A4ul-gjknV6DwPRdKsDU/s320/IMG_4275.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Here is the changing station. We are going to probably do mostly cloth diapering, but we received a TON of disposables at all of our showers, so we intend to use them all up too. I hear that newborns don't fit in the cloth ones right away anyways, so it all works out!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW_XqVWWHbAUDbzh8cnU61gk9H6fKZfB7b-ajbWbIXbxWCF-tBHip7ZfpQ18j3sfDqUosLJ7Mv14pQsIaGN8lh1p4AGHjc0bL0Mo5Xrlz73VFN1uxAqrRo3MqvwCbNGIq3SeEFgHjNgVw/s1600/IMG_4276.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW_XqVWWHbAUDbzh8cnU61gk9H6fKZfB7b-ajbWbIXbxWCF-tBHip7ZfpQ18j3sfDqUosLJ7Mv14pQsIaGN8lh1p4AGHjc0bL0Mo5Xrlz73VFN1uxAqrRo3MqvwCbNGIq3SeEFgHjNgVw/s320/IMG_4276.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
This isn't a great pic, but here is another white shelf that I built on the other side of the window, filled with books. Dave and I went to Goodwill yesterday and spent $6 on about 20 books for Zachary. We have Disney stories and Bible stories and train and travel stories, we are all set! Why buy NEW books, when you can get so many for way less than the cost of one?!?!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh77Jo008PafHp6uxLp_zF4ic9nPalIHUnvijeHXnRKwDg6AsAdurNhlPrZ6ssJmIetHprN63CqnTfFhwNUr5WlhuwI4aX4adr9W2RtaDzCdBwftvsEvPcbbk0JTKw6lviZepCkXsdstqk/s1600/IMG_4278.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh77Jo008PafHp6uxLp_zF4ic9nPalIHUnvijeHXnRKwDg6AsAdurNhlPrZ6ssJmIetHprN63CqnTfFhwNUr5WlhuwI4aX4adr9W2RtaDzCdBwftvsEvPcbbk0JTKw6lviZepCkXsdstqk/s320/IMG_4278.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
The photos hanging over the crib were a gift from my mom. They are pictures of vintage planes, boats and balloons. I bought IKEA frames and painted the mattes the same blue as our accent wall, and I love how it helps the prints pop. Perfect!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUUu3q_GdPLWs9dmGxqWdPZk68C7qCPTwiAlWuq_w5lninwi7tWz93JTFrjA2bTwz0_KJEpwgLl_IAgbSbmzL6jdad8b3rI4htjsoWrb8AnOvi5uRQONB76iHwcMRPbPgFmAA5fYfzSzY/s1600/IMG_4279.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUUu3q_GdPLWs9dmGxqWdPZk68C7qCPTwiAlWuq_w5lninwi7tWz93JTFrjA2bTwz0_KJEpwgLl_IAgbSbmzL6jdad8b3rI4htjsoWrb8AnOvi5uRQONB76iHwcMRPbPgFmAA5fYfzSzY/s320/IMG_4279.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Another shot of the crib and prints.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNzX2FDnP_6M7eBT80ecaeXsvfOGa5YO8VLWNfyWCfcqdubUgBc-nsY29_RMK5B3l-WKX7jFVFwGDHMAKVZWhK-zlBpwF9TjAsunlXBN6V1Zg7sjZaoGeva6q-guzYtw4PhnOwXtxq_OA/s1600/IMG_4280.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNzX2FDnP_6M7eBT80ecaeXsvfOGa5YO8VLWNfyWCfcqdubUgBc-nsY29_RMK5B3l-WKX7jFVFwGDHMAKVZWhK-zlBpwF9TjAsunlXBN6V1Zg7sjZaoGeva6q-guzYtw4PhnOwXtxq_OA/s320/IMG_4280.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Accent wall with plane and shelf.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj_2o2o8gUbm1ZbknIQZliaFAivaZpGl9RN4ImgYABYiLZ4LB3CS8fl-SlfUbBcRG84rFxw4r5mT_AvkYg3CV2hRfQky91gb9s0cJo00Y3ZIGZ6orAY4R0Im5SIavoCVef8poQ-rtJ-M8/s1600/IMG_4281.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj_2o2o8gUbm1ZbknIQZliaFAivaZpGl9RN4ImgYABYiLZ4LB3CS8fl-SlfUbBcRG84rFxw4r5mT_AvkYg3CV2hRfQky91gb9s0cJo00Y3ZIGZ6orAY4R0Im5SIavoCVef8poQ-rtJ-M8/s320/IMG_4281.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
This closet gave me a ton of trouble. It has this weird slanted floor, because of our stairwell being underneath it, so a regular closet organizer didn't work here. I think I tried 3 or 4 organizers before I found one that worked. This is an IKEA one, and when I found it and got it to work, I cried. The closet is stocked and ready to go for Zachary!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQcB0LQcsZoR0g-lBgNF4GB0nwF_dzrVKj9g72g9SlU9yDYY9_MfW8i0AZt-rOLxQCtTO_M6KHkk5OojYrPvHWTskjPqLf-j5RfqobhK9G9Z6u8sWkRGJvdnm6vPKf5DRLFpYBWszwHqo/s1600/IMG_4282.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQcB0LQcsZoR0g-lBgNF4GB0nwF_dzrVKj9g72g9SlU9yDYY9_MfW8i0AZt-rOLxQCtTO_M6KHkk5OojYrPvHWTskjPqLf-j5RfqobhK9G9Z6u8sWkRGJvdnm6vPKf5DRLFpYBWszwHqo/s320/IMG_4282.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Another shot of crib. The wall looks yellow here, but it's really a cappuccino creamy vintage color.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmi9Lz3wu1_PdrHDhjgHVD7fvwLXir6sw5Em2Grl3SDmlTW66jx7SRDhcFiE43WOu5V2lJoiDERirVciaUE0h_9LFtp7ufy_lBmKnGctGvdCful8-OpMwSIq5b7jjFOq5KpKykKHTRTA/s1600/IMG_4283.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmi9Lz3wu1_PdrHDhjgHVD7fvwLXir6sw5Em2Grl3SDmlTW66jx7SRDhcFiE43WOu5V2lJoiDERirVciaUE0h_9LFtp7ufy_lBmKnGctGvdCful8-OpMwSIq5b7jjFOq5KpKykKHTRTA/s320/IMG_4283.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Closet up of the crib. The bear (which will come out when Zachary sleeps in there) is our Jackson bear. We are giving him to Zachary as a sweet memory of his older brother in Heaven.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyzJyElxSb-a4dC6WXP16IZf6l9aY0LVNmOZalSTvzg5ujRaSz_AmXPGjDThxU-Jaz8nnpFw4zY9ftGY_67om9nXMQ1UtvUDOERpMwBBkx1JfswDy9Co5RDMAOa0A2oEF-CYtaUfM5Bs/s1600/IMG_4284.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyzJyElxSb-a4dC6WXP16IZf6l9aY0LVNmOZalSTvzg5ujRaSz_AmXPGjDThxU-Jaz8nnpFw4zY9ftGY_67om9nXMQ1UtvUDOERpMwBBkx1JfswDy9Co5RDMAOa0A2oEF-CYtaUfM5Bs/s320/IMG_4284.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Sorry for the bad lighting, but here is the view from the door. The glider is from Target. The curtains, which were sent to me straight from Heaven, are from Home Goods. I looked and looked and looked for these exact curtains for months. They had to be the right color blue (deep navy to match the wall) the right length, and I didn't want to spend too much on them. We miraculously found them at HG for $30. Yes!!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdaSdkfC3I6CxJIYFkbvT-W7bq93hKWOqb_tupppSXf8WWko1LUQHRLi2zlaDIyRekVFo-ib5pc1BW9Aii8IaMMOQNY0ccTj2_L4xhKkrUsZhLP3Wjrn-r5S08pMOpPmD07NPX8gBfKY/s1600/IMG_4285.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdaSdkfC3I6CxJIYFkbvT-W7bq93hKWOqb_tupppSXf8WWko1LUQHRLi2zlaDIyRekVFo-ib5pc1BW9Aii8IaMMOQNY0ccTj2_L4xhKkrUsZhLP3Wjrn-r5S08pMOpPmD07NPX8gBfKY/s320/IMG_4285.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So that is Zachary's sweet little nursery. It's small, but it's perfect for him.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Thank you to all who are praying for us and sending us good and happy thoughts tonight and tomorrow. You all are carrying me through this, I couldn't do it without you!! We'll post updates and pictures as soon as we can! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
XOXO</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-67251467944364056602015-05-21T11:35:00.001-04:002015-05-21T11:35:16.572-04:0037 weeks plus: Baby updates!<center style="text-align: left;">
This week has been an emotional roller coaster! Zachary is already keeping us entertained and on our toes, so I wonder at what his little personality will be like when he arrives. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I guess I should start with our appointment last Thursday. I go in twice a week for non stress tests, and fluid checks. Last week when we were at the office, we found out that Zachary had flipped into the breech position since the week before. This is unusual, for a baby to be head down that late in the game, and then flip himself back up. But...nothing is normal with me, so I just went with it. It made the decision of "how" he will come into this world a little easier, we were looking at c section. They gave us the option of trying to turn him, but the docs say that the procedure is not always effective, is extremely uncomfortable, and usually ends up in a c section anyways. We weren't interested. I've been saying all along that if a c section is the way to get him out to my arms safe and healthy and happy, then let's do it.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Monday we went back for our tests, and he was still head down. My BP was a little elevated, and my fluid level increased quite a bit since Thursday. Neither situation was an emergency, but signals that an earlier delivery is going to be better for everyone. My docs want 38 weeks, the high risk docs say 39 weeks, but there are all these variables that everyone has to take into account: borderline BP, the diabetes, the fluid levels, his position, the extreme anxiety of the mom...etc. At that appointment, my doc told me it was time to stop work, and to get some R&R before baby gets here. This was a little bit of a shock, because I really wanted to make it through this week to prepare, but oh well. It's actually surprising how easy it's been for me to "check out" and just focus on getting ready for Zachary. I am getting extremely tired each day too, so not working helps me get more done around here!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
At that Monday appointment, they ordered some tests to be done to check to make sure all was totally good, and told me that they wanted me to come back on Tuesday for another BP check. All the tests came back ok, all organs and systems functioning well, no protein in urine, all good signs. Then, when we went back on Tuesday, my BP was still a little elevated and I anxiously shared with them that I hadn't felt as much movement from him that morning. Well, that got us sent over to L&D quick!! I think I was just overly nervous on Tuesday, both Dave and I had let him move around 5:30 am that morning, but sometimes I get in my head and worry myself to death, and the doctors don't take that lightly. For which I am very, very glad. They sent us down for more monitoring, and that was a blessing in disguise because we got to see Dr. Bellantoni, and he walked us through all their thoughts about our case and what to do about delivery. I can tell he really wants to get this baby out of my asap, as soon as we are sure it is safe for Zachary and for me, and in the best way possible for both of us. There are so many factors to take into account, and he told us that once again their team would be discussing our case at their Wednesday meeting. He was very sweet, and always knows how to calm me down. He told us that Zachary looked great on the monitors and my BP came down a little, so they sent us home.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I was very emotional on Tuesday. Tears came as we left the hospital. I felt scared and overwhelmed, and very nervous about every little thing. I want to know that Zachary will be ok, I want to know when he will get here, and how. I am afraid of giving birth again, I guess because last time was so sad, and so painful. I am afraid of pain, I'm afraid of having surgery. I am actually afraid of having a live baby, even. I have no idea what to do with a live baby! What if I am a terrible mom? What if I can't bond with him, because of Jackson? What if...what if. I want to be brave, I want to have faith, its just so difficult for me. I am scared.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Yesterday, I started feel better. I prayed a lot over the past two days, and I know that whatever I can't handle, God can get me through. I know that most moms feel scared their "first" time around. I am convincing myself that worrying about the baby dying or something going wrong does not HELP anything, so I am not allowed to worry about it anymore. I have to believe that this time <i>will</i> be different, and that we <i>will</i> have a happy ending. If I keep my mind and heart on that track, I'm not so scared. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Today we went in for our testing again, and Zachary has flipped back to head down! Can you believe it? This kid is all over the place! Our regular OB nurse just laughed. Apparently, yesterday in the meeting with docs, they decided to go ahead and schedule my C section for Tuesday! 38 weeks! But now...that he is head down, that changes everything, again. Zachary is keeping life interesting for all of us. My fluid is still a little high, so he could flip back to breech. They want us to come into L&D on Saturday for another check to see where he is, possibly do an internal check to see what my body is doing, and do the non stress and BP checks too. I am very glad they want us to do this, because going into the holiday weekend, I am worried that a lot can change in 4 or 5 days. I'm used to getting seen every 2 or 3, and going in on Saturday will keep that schedule up. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Depending on what they see on Saturday, they will either schedule the C section for Tuesday, or let me keep all my regular appointments for that day. I see the docs in the early am, followed by a non stress test, followed by a trip down to St. Joes for a growth scan. Depending on how all of that goes, we will schedule either an induction or a c section for that week. Possibly that day. Possibly Wednesday. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
No matter what, it looks like we are going to have a baby by next week...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
That is still sinking in!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I am going to have a baby by next week!?!?!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Oh, how our lives are about to change and turn upside down in so many ways!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I am so grateful to be here, I am so thankful that we have gotten this far. I am so thankful for my docs and the team of people trying to figure out how to deliver this precious baby into our world as safely and as quickly as possible, and as healthy as can be. I have been blessed by my sweet family, and all of our friends and acquaintances and all the prayer warriors out there. What a ride it's been! I am most grateful to God for getting us here, and keeping me as sane as possible throughout the process - when I can get out of the way enough for Him to work His love and good and peace in me. Sometimes, if I really concentrate, I can hear Him telling me that everything is going to be ok. That Zachary and I are healthy, and he will arrive happy and whole, and that we will be blessed. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I am hoping that is His word in my heart, and not just my own nonsense. I think back to when I was in labor with Jackson, at the most painful part before they talked me into the epidural, and how I heard God telling me over and over <i>your blessings will be abundant</i>...I remember how loud and strong that voice was, and I am praying that this, a happy and healthy baby boy, is what He meant. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We will keep everyone updated, for sure. I'm going to try to get everything done in the nursery so I can share that post. It really is the sweetest room in our house, I am so happy with out it turned out! I have to hang some shelves and pictures, and I need to buy some books for him, but it's 90% done. I can't wait to share it!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Thanks for all the love and prayers and well wishes, we love you all! <3</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-90503365068019437042015-05-09T21:54:00.002-04:002015-05-09T21:56:07.895-04:00Mother's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEsVRR0CzsLaDSXgmXVrj-P5fPP5SLL3PVUkuWPlmvyt8vEzPlDXj6JiLbPlK9LFwiwXDKKuCkNsD4to6CA4qUUBIL0l8TOGiQdNcKv_mbgu8gvD6dcnuvNxYtLhZJ-a8VosO7z29JX1Y/s1600/tashmessage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEsVRR0CzsLaDSXgmXVrj-P5fPP5SLL3PVUkuWPlmvyt8vEzPlDXj6JiLbPlK9LFwiwXDKKuCkNsD4to6CA4qUUBIL0l8TOGiQdNcKv_mbgu8gvD6dcnuvNxYtLhZJ-a8VosO7z29JX1Y/s400/tashmessage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
To all the moms out there, whether your child is here on Earth, or waiting for you in Heaven, Happy Mother's Day!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It's a tough day for a lot of people, and I learned this week that part of the origin of Mother's Day stems from baby loss. Isn't it a little tragic that consumerism has taken it over, for the money? Not that moms don't deserve to be celebrated, they totally do, but still...baby loss is so taboo and no one wants to talk about it...it's ironic that this holiday may have started because of loss.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
There are a lot of things going through my mind as this day approaches tomorrow. On the one hand, I am very excited to become a mom to a baby on Earth. So excited. Well, so nervous too, but mostly I can't wait to meet Zachary and be a mother to a baby that I can hold and kiss and love in person.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
On the other, I can't ever forget the babies that made me a mom in the first place. I can't shake the feeling that something...someone...two someones...are missing this year. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It's sort of a morbid thought, because of course IF Jackson and Lily were here, than Zachary would not be. Zachary was conceived before Jackson and Lily's due date, so obviously if the pregnancy with them went well, than this sweet baby boy bouncing around in my belly would not exist. This thought is bringing up all sorts of weird and hard feelings this weekend. I am so THANKFUL for Zachary, but to admit that makes me feel like I have to finally be "ok" with the fact that our twins died. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
That makes me feel guilty. I tell myself I should be ashamed, and devastated about our loss. I should still be mourning deeply.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Then I tell myself to shut the heck up. There's really no way to make sense of all of this...the miscarriage of Lily, the stillbirth of Jackson, this pregnancy with Zachary...there is <i>no</i> sense to it.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
In the excitement and preparation of Zachary's coming into the world, the grief and sadness of losing Lily and Jackson does seem to be ebbing. It makes me feel like I am losing my connection to them as their mom, and that scares me. I remember when I was in the depths of my grief last June after delivering Jackson, that I <i>never </i>wanted to feel "better" because to feel better would separate me from him. I don't WANT to be sad, or to grieve, but I don't want to forget him either. I hate this separation, but then if I wasn't separated from him...Zachary would not be here.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It's just hard to wrap my brain around it all. When I try, I come to the conclusion that I am still just healing one a day at a time, and while the strangling pain and grief of baby loss is easing up on me, it's never going to be gone. I tell myself I am just getting better at meshing it into my life now. I am getting stronger. I can deal with it and it may not hurt as much, BECAUSE I am stronger. Because I am BRAVE. Not because I am better or the loss makes any more sense, or anything like that. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them. Mostly Jackson, of course, because of how long he was with me and the fact that I delivered him and held him. I find ways to integrate both of them into our lives all the time, and even into Zachary's life. I have a beautiful story to tell Zachary about his big sister and brother, which I will do soon after we meet face to face. Some special things are going into his nursery to represent them. We've planted a rose bush in our garden in Jackson's honor, a pinkish white one, just like the hospital gave to us on the day we said goodbye to him. In a few weeks I'll be filmed for a documentary about baby loss to help break the silence and stigma surrounding it, all in their honor. To get their story out there to help and heal and hopefully change the world in a very small way.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I am <i>still </i>their mom, I love them, and <i>their lives still matter</i>.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I have to remind myself that our babies in Heaven are very much a part of our everyday lives. We've just gotten used to parenting them in this way, this unconventional and unfortunate way. I have to remind myself that I am NOT forgetting them, and not "moving on" from them, but settling into a pattern of parenting that is very unique. I am embracing them in this out of this world connection that we have.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
As Mother's Day comes around this first year after our loss, I am celebrating in two very different ways. I'm celebrating the short and sweet lives of the babies we lost last year, and I am celebrating the fact that in just a few short weeks - our Rainbow baby will be in our arms. Because of them all, I am a mom. Each one of our children have taught me such different lessons, such different ways to love, and such different ways of being a parent. I am grateful for each of them, and love them so much. My heart, while sad and excited and scared, is so big and so full, BECAUSE of all three of them. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It is an honor to be the mother of three: Lily, Jackson and Zachary. Well, actually four, because Ashley definitely counts too. It's an honor to parent all of them in unique and beautiful ways. I learn something new every day about being a parent from each of them, and I am thankful for the extraordinary way that God has chosen me to parent and how He blessed my life through all four. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Happy Mother's Day <3</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Ftarget%3Dpost%3BpostID%3D9050336506801943704&media=https%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-WjnvM0CB-Mw%2FVU60Vl-0yeI%2FAAAAAAAAE5o%2FCQc7o_ESVgY%2Fs400%2Ftashmessage.jpg&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 153px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Ftarget%3Dpost%3BpostID%3D9050336506801943704&media=https%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-WjnvM0CB-Mw%2FVU60Vl-0yeI%2FAAAAAAAAE5o%2FCQc7o_ESVgY%2Fs400%2Ftashmessage.jpg&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 153px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-90853233956027632692015-04-23T22:01:00.002-04:002015-04-23T22:01:45.026-04:00Showers for Zachary<center style="text-align: left;">
This is a long one!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Zachary is one loved little boy, already!!! In the last few weeks, we've had two beautiful showers thrown for us. I can't even begin to express how blessed and lucky we feel that so many people want to love on us and our little baby boy. It's overwhelming, but in a big and beautiful way. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Something that I have struggled with in this pregnancy after loss is feeling like a fraud, like I don't really belong to the "club" of preggo moms, or the mother-to-be club. That is a product of a loss such as ours, it feels hard trying to fit in. But now, since the showers and the nursery, this really feels REAL. And I love that it feels real. I am loving the thought of being a mom to him, and I am loving LETTING myself believe that it could happen!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Our first shower was thrown for us at my school. My Special Area team hosted it. Dave and Ashley and my parents came for it, and it was so sweet. We got WAY more for Zachary than we deserve, and I am so lucky that I work with such a wonderful staff. Here are a few of the pictures we have from that day...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglE2yoZHbQspargwM171mjfA0xi-c-mi_wvbmxVUZKrMo5DHare_cGceiIrXLuqhTYxK36UVqh6S2TzOuaMqRzN1gxWNyrBf_pBwwt7DrrdeYAXE7Wq19O7Jh520LkmRLX6n11rRGJGX8/s1600/IMG_3687.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglE2yoZHbQspargwM171mjfA0xi-c-mi_wvbmxVUZKrMo5DHare_cGceiIrXLuqhTYxK36UVqh6S2TzOuaMqRzN1gxWNyrBf_pBwwt7DrrdeYAXE7Wq19O7Jh520LkmRLX6n11rRGJGX8/s1600/IMG_3687.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
The beautiful cake made for us by Peggy and decorated by the talented Denise...it was SO yummy!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7oJH60gloJhDFOLDXDAPWwHsM7JN3Hw9HXftzfb7WaMF3WpgZAvItDZta2lqkBkPU7Bv_u5s-l04fAfdTwQ6MarN9rq-E6521XTbOWO6uIJqUTm_woV1ViIjXgH-Hwx4zFE4FMV4g6Bs/s1600/IMG_3688.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7oJH60gloJhDFOLDXDAPWwHsM7JN3Hw9HXftzfb7WaMF3WpgZAvItDZta2lqkBkPU7Bv_u5s-l04fAfdTwQ6MarN9rq-E6521XTbOWO6uIJqUTm_woV1ViIjXgH-Hwx4zFE4FMV4g6Bs/s1600/IMG_3688.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Mom and Dad getting some food...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghiQZtnRHi6BOaPl0O7eG6Xkk_haWNl9eKy1DbPdT8KzmpbqbRHNnfXZuCuFdWMaHNHQbxnAPzCGB3Z2eeMSWMGJ3dnVfEogHvWxtG5ZBWJcn5mZs9hID6iajE-y_hWTwUrdHaB0KWqp0/s1600/IMG_3694.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghiQZtnRHi6BOaPl0O7eG6Xkk_haWNl9eKy1DbPdT8KzmpbqbRHNnfXZuCuFdWMaHNHQbxnAPzCGB3Z2eeMSWMGJ3dnVfEogHvWxtG5ZBWJcn5mZs9hID6iajE-y_hWTwUrdHaB0KWqp0/s1600/IMG_3694.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Dave & Ashley digging in too...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxuXxS3oNUI1phaXMHOGjyIVN-uTadtKlR4SZ3DAsAa_CDCjDr57ecJ6TSveFdQBAzK9C4HG74ODAbSg12-cXdaqn6aDUnRLnK-enErIflEGDTsKAYIO4cYDvpnJ3UWcitDZ03w35piE/s1600/IMG_3693.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxuXxS3oNUI1phaXMHOGjyIVN-uTadtKlR4SZ3DAsAa_CDCjDr57ecJ6TSveFdQBAzK9C4HG74ODAbSg12-cXdaqn6aDUnRLnK-enErIflEGDTsKAYIO4cYDvpnJ3UWcitDZ03w35piE/s1600/IMG_3693.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I wore the sweet scarf that Blythe and Chuck sent us last year, a tribute to Jackson and Lily as we celebrate their baby brother. Here I am opening a gift from one of the families from our school!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAt58r-BB_IO2mMFaRIK-oeDYlPCibkkDUqH6D-B6kAm4UlPZvOohhy0BFMc82Z_4uJGOmUWcAlFAZv85IQgjE30kMOHV1agnUg1gRqLX_6XE5BvltwQ8Z6s1ipTQy2MkTZhNfjThd7Ko/s1600/IMG_3691.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAt58r-BB_IO2mMFaRIK-oeDYlPCibkkDUqH6D-B6kAm4UlPZvOohhy0BFMc82Z_4uJGOmUWcAlFAZv85IQgjE30kMOHV1agnUg1gRqLX_6XE5BvltwQ8Z6s1ipTQy2MkTZhNfjThd7Ko/s1600/IMG_3691.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
My dad, being a goof as always. This beach hat is adorable! I can't wait to put him in it at the pool and the OBX this summer!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXuFKYre4EnQR9eY003bkBBrspp1okuyR3y3KMK3N19S0e9PcciV4qwO1TAMuYKRQF_66qsc8pfGNAhp8X9sy1-SRVIgfTX9X8aiG42L6VZ4PLEC09AhG_Rlss7hPOa6A5p8zc-QureXA/s1600/IMG_3690.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXuFKYre4EnQR9eY003bkBBrspp1okuyR3y3KMK3N19S0e9PcciV4qwO1TAMuYKRQF_66qsc8pfGNAhp8X9sy1-SRVIgfTX9X8aiG42L6VZ4PLEC09AhG_Rlss7hPOa6A5p8zc-QureXA/s1600/IMG_3690.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Dave, holding the gift from my team! We love to eat, so this gift was perfect - his bottle set!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZYxNE5kpJeewDxbfDk6-gJkU96zXlQbsp4cM3wHNuGeA1sm_cd5v4EvkiMSKM-EjMTJlX-FVSKU2WHnZQ1p2zwphN3JCeHYbnT_AjX9fokrZETxVCLmpyfXiyZylFr8xaI5ZPNh3738A/s1600/IMG_3695.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZYxNE5kpJeewDxbfDk6-gJkU96zXlQbsp4cM3wHNuGeA1sm_cd5v4EvkiMSKM-EjMTJlX-FVSKU2WHnZQ1p2zwphN3JCeHYbnT_AjX9fokrZETxVCLmpyfXiyZylFr8xaI5ZPNh3738A/s1600/IMG_3695.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Me, opening gifts. I make funny faces while I do this apparently :)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeVdkZM0ZuOILYCgHbuRBVp6Zhf68U1V_tGdjZTwMhfbxUQE_HuDrPG-5ScyCPELvLzU7SwmQ6GZrb6oOlsKKDP9sh9o59VYZE8yiDuX6EATyhJsZSnVqR_emgwpCMd9QgfpQs-0J2aU8/s1600/IMG_3696.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeVdkZM0ZuOILYCgHbuRBVp6Zhf68U1V_tGdjZTwMhfbxUQE_HuDrPG-5ScyCPELvLzU7SwmQ6GZrb6oOlsKKDP9sh9o59VYZE8yiDuX6EATyhJsZSnVqR_emgwpCMd9QgfpQs-0J2aU8/s1600/IMG_3696.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We got so many sweet little outfits! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkD9nCNNe6W8bfO0_4WmbhzRMYr1jNJodvbMlb0FqvoWQgv3voA5ZNK0Uget5_q8vcFtnbCclwV-Q7VZ8Ck8UcnPn5pCKezX_9gicIH2AkoAlz4VlGvrnK5idY2b3rhdDjJ_tJf2d6ALg/s1600/IMG_3658.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkD9nCNNe6W8bfO0_4WmbhzRMYr1jNJodvbMlb0FqvoWQgv3voA5ZNK0Uget5_q8vcFtnbCclwV-Q7VZ8Ck8UcnPn5pCKezX_9gicIH2AkoAlz4VlGvrnK5idY2b3rhdDjJ_tJf2d6ALg/s1600/IMG_3658.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The pile of wonderfulness after we got home!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I wish I had more pics of the shower, but Dave & Ash only really took pics of me. It was a very sweet shower and a lot of friends came to bless us! Thank you, Squirrels!!!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Our next shower was this past weekend, thrown by our dearest oldest friends and hosted at Jenny's beautiful home. We had a brunch, and lots of fun and laughter, and it was awesome!! My family and closest friends came, and again we were blessed way beyond what we deserve!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjORpN8RSGWiW3Is5aMJrtWMQd1F-2Qhj2aH5hOtfKM5P16aZR_l5skV4CcZr7FsQ48wty59kGlZuZ5QcW20Suem8Mi63KyWdi7zqLWBDgYuTmQa9YOqZv_Uy5T3p8eZWlwp7q35wSKQoA/s1600/IMG_3790.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjORpN8RSGWiW3Is5aMJrtWMQd1F-2Qhj2aH5hOtfKM5P16aZR_l5skV4CcZr7FsQ48wty59kGlZuZ5QcW20Suem8Mi63KyWdi7zqLWBDgYuTmQa9YOqZv_Uy5T3p8eZWlwp7q35wSKQoA/s1600/IMG_3790.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Ashley was in charge of pics, and she did a great job of capturing all the little sweet details! Our nursery theme is vintage travel or little explorer, and Jenny and our family friends did an awesome job of decorating in that same theme. Below is his name on vintage map paper! So cute!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMNkp928yn9flCo4dc32aC5iOfow6m2h9uqftyVBIfcizveddXYpOjVIgu250DT9Oo0U-LniKMKQQDJ9xcvqgxtMop8E1BrgSQTsQqFRzT8T_i0lQe34qQCiESNC6lTGZdzdFfXuZBh2E/s1600/IMG_3791.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMNkp928yn9flCo4dc32aC5iOfow6m2h9uqftyVBIfcizveddXYpOjVIgu250DT9Oo0U-LniKMKQQDJ9xcvqgxtMop8E1BrgSQTsQqFRzT8T_i0lQe34qQCiESNC6lTGZdzdFfXuZBh2E/s1600/IMG_3791.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Lots of great little touches!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSeiWwzK1BPdVXYanoydL2fNX0n0uO4BdqPqptr5BNnCcnGZ0-lJkm2lp8fn9vuTososlo6f17RkViboFT2ZePQczRNSNc5Nsjp1Xd5_72nEV_-HndI8hGRA3KY364Tg913zIapSWue8A/s1600/IMG_3793.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSeiWwzK1BPdVXYanoydL2fNX0n0uO4BdqPqptr5BNnCcnGZ0-lJkm2lp8fn9vuTososlo6f17RkViboFT2ZePQczRNSNc5Nsjp1Xd5_72nEV_-HndI8hGRA3KY364Tg913zIapSWue8A/s1600/IMG_3793.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Hot air balloons with his name on them hanging everywhere!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdbQFdZQOpytyb5pxgR58nH3WTEvwY7IJQYHDnvimVTlTyhw0I_JtpfLpGuuK94Jhz8gS_lMQ1VA5VfvdO-Pr00f1bE-p6jFYPCUv8jcoJewC7PtdwsaqXJlKp1MmL4qYbCvED-5PhUz8/s1600/IMG_3795.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdbQFdZQOpytyb5pxgR58nH3WTEvwY7IJQYHDnvimVTlTyhw0I_JtpfLpGuuK94Jhz8gS_lMQ1VA5VfvdO-Pr00f1bE-p6jFYPCUv8jcoJewC7PtdwsaqXJlKp1MmL4qYbCvED-5PhUz8/s1600/IMG_3795.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Dave's grandma "Grammy" and my sweet mother-in-law, Joyce...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9dHRrRYZ7us-5tnWVNj0lXNWfU-U_ReVjg08QRdTXZuhCTKe3TdBSCXMYpbHfHrGIVII9TIha4EPfZCFUKOaD8RQSYx0Rl6vps2CKochYvimwvwv4wKl3kywuohOgwWnmsCRUaYZlNCw/s1600/IMG_3797.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9dHRrRYZ7us-5tnWVNj0lXNWfU-U_ReVjg08QRdTXZuhCTKe3TdBSCXMYpbHfHrGIVII9TIha4EPfZCFUKOaD8RQSYx0Rl6vps2CKochYvimwvwv4wKl3kywuohOgwWnmsCRUaYZlNCw/s1600/IMG_3797.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Mom was in charge of games, which was hysterical because she stressed everyone out with them...she takes her jobs very seriously as Grandma! Here are the baskets she created as gifts...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyR0M1Qwj1dl-8SLkSWczZMEyW5g5VuJFf2Gq5Op8yUs0lESap3zwzwbr7VP5wWkhIdVMhdkDjOf36lw3ZbrRT1xL1SXHZ8y5XV_cam3dmlPpnWXbpm_1fDBljjBMOWn7MvIyS4IAXGdw/s1600/IMG_3799.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyR0M1Qwj1dl-8SLkSWczZMEyW5g5VuJFf2Gq5Op8yUs0lESap3zwzwbr7VP5wWkhIdVMhdkDjOf36lw3ZbrRT1xL1SXHZ8y5XV_cam3dmlPpnWXbpm_1fDBljjBMOWn7MvIyS4IAXGdw/s1600/IMG_3799.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Mom and I posing for a pic - she likes to wear sunglasses like a NY diva. I always have to remind her to take them off!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl5OcHKu6rLQfs2DuqGdLWRbodyGSrG0EHe5u0zncNpgtNjV1GGFebG9VBK9WJ3tuKWcwBONzhyphenhyphenOJSSsjGiReCSMaeKbVhY-S5ExoZBFpH0tqCt7Rf8LpJoAO894gDo8ryNIWluKmkvio/s1600/IMG_3801.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl5OcHKu6rLQfs2DuqGdLWRbodyGSrG0EHe5u0zncNpgtNjV1GGFebG9VBK9WJ3tuKWcwBONzhyphenhyphenOJSSsjGiReCSMaeKbVhY-S5ExoZBFpH0tqCt7Rf8LpJoAO894gDo8ryNIWluKmkvio/s1600/IMG_3801.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Gift time! I can't believe how much we got!! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidj6bYyX187I_YNONk5cZWU3ts-U5dZVT-XlCQ2cAPA31Bh1spDCNpSEiP8cnzREZ-6kwyvDtqiIAU_wn7yUWnq4m4Cw-8L7xIGyTB1XVaXb9bcQqcG1uEz258trGuzHRmDzF7_qsx4mc/s1600/IMG_3806.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidj6bYyX187I_YNONk5cZWU3ts-U5dZVT-XlCQ2cAPA31Bh1spDCNpSEiP8cnzREZ-6kwyvDtqiIAU_wn7yUWnq4m4Cw-8L7xIGyTB1XVaXb9bcQqcG1uEz258trGuzHRmDzF7_qsx4mc/s1600/IMG_3806.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Clothes and activity gyms and Mamaroos and lots of fun stuff!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitMLT4Tip4hSwowZVGRUJDK6BbAeN_Y9q_TJgbD-Vu_z38ihpxtStswFj6kpn78NjU4MBfzSBlUm7FQtYTkS4YxciPxw06KgaTcPMmC5mJ2h3rTSLksb7imJ4ppxV5n7NN2xBThYiVXo/s1600/IMG_3827.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitMLT4Tip4hSwowZVGRUJDK6BbAeN_Y9q_TJgbD-Vu_z38ihpxtStswFj6kpn78NjU4MBfzSBlUm7FQtYTkS4YxciPxw06KgaTcPMmC5mJ2h3rTSLksb7imJ4ppxV5n7NN2xBThYiVXo/s1600/IMG_3827.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
My dress is from Old Navy, and I love it:)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizwVxEQL47JbZJPKLkRBsJEEHP_3YD1ymQ-hfQqP5bVy4vsYb0EIVSAZ2Dg4SC7FWAyTJuv5woW-rceVtaDzvxP5i793JBy6u5U6ndliIAEm7wsluRL92aHwqOlSGbuNmHoU5cyBNhpjM/s1600/IMG_3830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizwVxEQL47JbZJPKLkRBsJEEHP_3YD1ymQ-hfQqP5bVy4vsYb0EIVSAZ2Dg4SC7FWAyTJuv5woW-rceVtaDzvxP5i793JBy6u5U6ndliIAEm7wsluRL92aHwqOlSGbuNmHoU5cyBNhpjM/s1600/IMG_3830.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
My Sister in Law (the saint who married my brother!) was awesome and helped me with the gifts. Love you, Krystal!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1oEpcGwZHKKfhJwvWpYckdYab92Fm1vLQSW1e95BarJLWcFGR_xzdVu0jechKkuQM308R4FsuBXNBZP9KQNFUpdgKeuxdgRn10HcuO-exThj5C6F5EoVwsRPP3dzU5tmOy0jescdOkw/s1600/IMG_3831.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1oEpcGwZHKKfhJwvWpYckdYab92Fm1vLQSW1e95BarJLWcFGR_xzdVu0jechKkuQM308R4FsuBXNBZP9KQNFUpdgKeuxdgRn10HcuO-exThj5C6F5EoVwsRPP3dzU5tmOy0jescdOkw/s1600/IMG_3831.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Mom organizing a game...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_lDkXAR2LBPVig2iy5WoMdIXWJXC3BvoV4sx4_997ALrde8nrK3Xo98lGFrw4vLHYVsl2fxZ-S8uxToQ9W1IhqDiqm63grWW9vtNkPTMUbq7S59kDu1QAyMg0txBjiiJKY9ybzYHMWf4/s1600/IMG_3850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_lDkXAR2LBPVig2iy5WoMdIXWJXC3BvoV4sx4_997ALrde8nrK3Xo98lGFrw4vLHYVsl2fxZ-S8uxToQ9W1IhqDiqm63grWW9vtNkPTMUbq7S59kDu1QAyMg0txBjiiJKY9ybzYHMWf4/s1600/IMG_3850.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Friends and family, stressing over said games;)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQlGbzBINNkEjxPRXN5hWJ-JMlbaqJSfs-DqbEccckg693xJBZRmya0R8ix9q1MhPbZJ0wFbvD6rwNzS2lU_zmFKc7pttTEl1T6Wgzh0DpzvUEjVBDAzv_soSvjSeRRd-OUyDHaQcx1UE/s1600/IMG_3851.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQlGbzBINNkEjxPRXN5hWJ-JMlbaqJSfs-DqbEccckg693xJBZRmya0R8ix9q1MhPbZJ0wFbvD6rwNzS2lU_zmFKc7pttTEl1T6Wgzh0DpzvUEjVBDAzv_soSvjSeRRd-OUyDHaQcx1UE/s1600/IMG_3851.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3K66qV0Vk1coZMY0dcjgLEXsg_8YAPliX4vlOadN6UrPI6NgNebz3AuFdTaxdGgWd49aO62ZxS-VwGKJbVObvNNW_KeQx-l1ThdNp4JL32AFR8uYUwW9FNjo2cuM2STJjJjw51O3DtT8/s1600/IMG_3854.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3K66qV0Vk1coZMY0dcjgLEXsg_8YAPliX4vlOadN6UrPI6NgNebz3AuFdTaxdGgWd49aO62ZxS-VwGKJbVObvNNW_KeQx-l1ThdNp4JL32AFR8uYUwW9FNjo2cuM2STJjJjw51O3DtT8/s1600/IMG_3854.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
My aunt, who did know not the answer to the celebrity game, so she just wrote WHAAAAAT? On the paper! It was funny, she is the best!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltAFdlUdx_XirCVhOfkd3F1vorPxLYXloQz6EXrOHG52-C7nsv_KyLZVtPL2yt8POyCpsGlj4Y6gkQGVf-JZCvzCtvw52_ECeuJ-244VtBgD_68KD9O0WhMgbheJjGGDMIlxg39hrM8o/s1600/IMG_3859.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltAFdlUdx_XirCVhOfkd3F1vorPxLYXloQz6EXrOHG52-C7nsv_KyLZVtPL2yt8POyCpsGlj4Y6gkQGVf-JZCvzCtvw52_ECeuJ-244VtBgD_68KD9O0WhMgbheJjGGDMIlxg39hrM8o/s1600/IMG_3859.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
This sweet onesie was given to us by Blythe and Chuck, and it almost sent me into a fest of crying ugly but joyful tears. Can you read what it says? I can't even talk about it without tearing up...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZLePNZMRSYC8xJ5CEkitQwmftzkfDe8HEZFVbMeJMFhQS0cuGzh0E0UoIuznRiLynRkxQomLFPYcflLXn_UECAOc5oxldvFt4AtGjvKRkLQ1V1Coutz7tcNxvbjeOX1Jp6kcbO1h5QA/s1600/IMG_3889.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZLePNZMRSYC8xJ5CEkitQwmftzkfDe8HEZFVbMeJMFhQS0cuGzh0E0UoIuznRiLynRkxQomLFPYcflLXn_UECAOc5oxldvFt4AtGjvKRkLQ1V1Coutz7tcNxvbjeOX1Jp6kcbO1h5QA/s1600/IMG_3889.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
It's one of the FIRST outfits I am putting Zachary in, whether it fits or not. It's already in the hospital bag. Love you, Bluck and Chythe!!<br />
<br />
Dave showed up halfway through the gift part, and I made him open one with me...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTXeUZlSudNL1rC5uyGjy0vn89brtBfAWiIJqTxiCwUyxDNsu9SnIjtWW09zTyLkkySO6hbazKfKDfJt_s3FGnDCk2UY65BnurBTd0bro3cyDtJoN0PZiRlPtZSbWp9VcHp4X7NZ3ptyA/s1600/IMG_3953.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTXeUZlSudNL1rC5uyGjy0vn89brtBfAWiIJqTxiCwUyxDNsu9SnIjtWW09zTyLkkySO6hbazKfKDfJt_s3FGnDCk2UY65BnurBTd0bro3cyDtJoN0PZiRlPtZSbWp9VcHp4X7NZ3ptyA/s1600/IMG_3953.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
This was our awesome pack and play with newborn napper, given to us from his mom. What a great gift!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVjsA4N-5VifycgH9zc7KZw6ifb4w3DuKbx4N9ucpZIa5w2KPLooMsDjtLeyHWGRwAYvzHdwH_cLwgRdmHMcUvLbmQ1GBywOaiGb3l_29sGkicWWtBT4IxWyGRqNU-F3mwMQtSUEngeck/s1600/IMG_3954.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVjsA4N-5VifycgH9zc7KZw6ifb4w3DuKbx4N9ucpZIa5w2KPLooMsDjtLeyHWGRwAYvzHdwH_cLwgRdmHMcUvLbmQ1GBywOaiGb3l_29sGkicWWtBT4IxWyGRqNU-F3mwMQtSUEngeck/s1600/IMG_3954.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
My mom and dad got us our travel system, I don't have a pic of that but it was also an awesome gift. Our family and friends are way too generous!<br />
<br />
Here is our beautiful cake, and it too was DELISH!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1d1IQuto30TmoyD0tYzGN887xfHEMncHrTXjZtiHiLERv57pWY54KyHIdvpvl1UgRLMcaGnd2QkvNwZufPhPhpb11Mxt1AadN7NCmCkyTo_MYlfM1YDOzEbhIkhY1nfzuNhhviyeuYSU/s1600/IMG_3982.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1d1IQuto30TmoyD0tYzGN887xfHEMncHrTXjZtiHiLERv57pWY54KyHIdvpvl1UgRLMcaGnd2QkvNwZufPhPhpb11Mxt1AadN7NCmCkyTo_MYlfM1YDOzEbhIkhY1nfzuNhhviyeuYSU/s1600/IMG_3982.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Joyce also made her famous strawberry shortcake.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1SkA60blvrEKZEK9qmgx266ATqtqHnMh51IjUCY8zCA-gb5k5dq_q3Ymtb76kmLc_N1iDueUh7u9R-YNciSZ6iotCw00meccGDP8I9JNeeio0_AuiQMQPoabqbSXG1uWhY3AQSwmjwxQ/s1600/IMG_3983.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1SkA60blvrEKZEK9qmgx266ATqtqHnMh51IjUCY8zCA-gb5k5dq_q3Ymtb76kmLc_N1iDueUh7u9R-YNciSZ6iotCw00meccGDP8I9JNeeio0_AuiQMQPoabqbSXG1uWhY3AQSwmjwxQ/s1600/IMG_3983.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Heather, my very best BFF, was visiting from Texas last weekend. I basically made my friends throw the shower on this day so she could be a part of it. I couldn't have a shower without her!!! Zachary is going to love his auntie!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilOcvWI4qhNXMfF3lD8bD87myMidCZD5H5uSe5Te5QvReMoA4-B330NQPyoPkTMJXRkfwyMG2UYGEreUzxdTYwfeXKJwvPNFgCTTKTrDpClYzJZmT7VFQkED_rU-cXTfE5yf6qcq3PxnU/s1600/IMG_3987.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilOcvWI4qhNXMfF3lD8bD87myMidCZD5H5uSe5Te5QvReMoA4-B330NQPyoPkTMJXRkfwyMG2UYGEreUzxdTYwfeXKJwvPNFgCTTKTrDpClYzJZmT7VFQkED_rU-cXTfE5yf6qcq3PxnU/s1600/IMG_3987.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Me and Katie Mac, friends for life. She is an awesome friend, I love her, and she gave us an amazing airplane that we hung in the nursery, pics to come soon of that!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjODBcAcNIxXo6fcuKPMZYlPjWnZUn_rzHmI1gm4r4Hn6fn8hn8vmJEI8vo2lF6GR5RL_hnvgVRQmO053yGCBw9uUh-RnVnnga5RdobBqdZ6LjVH-T_sjsFNJhWoKfCbzQIDEPsRfaNGi4/s1600/IMG_3990.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjODBcAcNIxXo6fcuKPMZYlPjWnZUn_rzHmI1gm4r4Hn6fn8hn8vmJEI8vo2lF6GR5RL_hnvgVRQmO053yGCBw9uUh-RnVnnga5RdobBqdZ6LjVH-T_sjsFNJhWoKfCbzQIDEPsRfaNGi4/s1600/IMG_3990.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Don't forget the big sis, she can't wait!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCaNdAFNqwqFuk24FJdTlooWDRcT4oukjRLGGQEj5dwjpzGTz5JcCnepvo_sQ9zLHEakS_60Y73MAe0bFoFZ9eCQ-rS0S3apEUreOLyvJIngFzLq3I2Kr2jsk5CVViQT0KSBoaaVBXdAw/s1600/IMG_3994.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCaNdAFNqwqFuk24FJdTlooWDRcT4oukjRLGGQEj5dwjpzGTz5JcCnepvo_sQ9zLHEakS_60Y73MAe0bFoFZ9eCQ-rS0S3apEUreOLyvJIngFzLq3I2Kr2jsk5CVViQT0KSBoaaVBXdAw/s1600/IMG_3994.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Heather, Jaimie, me and Jenny. All friends from childhood, middle school and high school. We grew up together, and all have very busy lives, but they will be my sisters forever. I love you girls!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPLL_GijABLtWE0_fWdSYVhMbiXkFJ10l-p9RddE9W4Efrnx1vBgmkoaQWiW4gYhkN0MzOm47IwUNahlMEQBq3oHdxKlOb_1Lec2_rD_OJVMfV0tH2f9fbFUJ4zDyK0ly3ohQ-RT-qPzU/s1600/IMG_3999.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPLL_GijABLtWE0_fWdSYVhMbiXkFJ10l-p9RddE9W4Efrnx1vBgmkoaQWiW4gYhkN0MzOm47IwUNahlMEQBq3oHdxKlOb_1Lec2_rD_OJVMfV0tH2f9fbFUJ4zDyK0ly3ohQ-RT-qPzU/s1600/IMG_3999.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Dave and I, overwhelmed, happy and hopeful. We are so thankful for all of our friends, family, and co-workers that are praying for this baby boy of ours!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilEy6OSPU8QTv2m9o8bn42htj2Kf8TrXqJD53Qp4uA570FJDMZov9lT1itb7t247p5v-mLp99m6Xko8ckVrngPYEGBls1q_SZ7T81LgzvnEChG7NNLg6VGqxrjLj7N-iHEN3h9VtDCjVk/s1600/IMG_3993.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilEy6OSPU8QTv2m9o8bn42htj2Kf8TrXqJD53Qp4uA570FJDMZov9lT1itb7t247p5v-mLp99m6Xko8ckVrngPYEGBls1q_SZ7T81LgzvnEChG7NNLg6VGqxrjLj7N-iHEN3h9VtDCjVk/s1600/IMG_3993.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
We had a lot of fun at all of our showers! Zachary's nursery is full, so there is NO going back now. He has to arrive, safe and happy and healthy! I'll share pics of the room, maybe next week, because while we have all the furniture, storage and decor for the most part, it still all needs to be organized and decorated. Oh and let me just say, we LOVED using <a href="http://babyli.st/tina-and-dave-bland" target="_blank">BabyList</a> as our registry. If you are preggo, or planning on getting preggo, Babylist lets you combine all registries into one. So you can put any item from any store on there, and it gives everyone the links to the stuff - you can choose how to buy it and where to buy the item from to get the best deal. It even lists competitive prices. I wish I would have thought of such a genius website, I'd be rich!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Anyways, THANK YOU to each and everyone of our friends and family that helped celebrate the coming of Zachary David. God has truly blessed us with the best of friends and family. Thank you for your support, and your prayers, and dealing with my neurotic ramblings over the past year. It's been a crazy ride, but it'll be worth it when that little boy enters into the world and changes our lives forever. I can't <i>wait </i>to share him with you!!!</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-57566593157071710382015-04-21T21:01:00.000-04:002015-04-21T21:02:58.548-04:00Updates!<center>
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Well, I've been pretty quiet here on the blog for the past month. Each time I wanted to write, I felt a little overwhelmed. Being pregnant after losing Jackson (and Lily) has been such an emotional roller coaster, and sometimes I just don't notice the ups and downs until they are over. For the past month, after each week went by I though...eh...I'll wait until next week, just in case something happens. I didn't really realize that I was losing steam or faith, but now that I look at it, that is what was happening. I'm not sure if it was my baby showers on the horizon, or the thought that all my testing would be starting soon...but I let fear in again, without even realizing it!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So much has happened in the past month too!! We painted the nursery, we put up the crib, we bought a dresser, we had TWO showers, we decided on his name (Zachary David, we can't wait to meet you!) and have had tons of doctor appointments. I feel so out of touch with talking about him, and updating you, and figuring out how to feel and how to think. It's just overwhelming. But I'm back, ready to blog my way through the last few weeks we have left.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Let's start there! Today I am 33 weeks. How did I get here?! It seems to have gone by so, so fast. I'm so lucky, and blessed, to have made it this far. Achieving 33 weeks gives me lots of hope, tons of hope, actually. I know I am not out of the woods yet, I know Zachary isn't either, but if he were to come into the world this evening, he has a heck of a great chance of living!!! Yay!!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Here is the size of his hand right now, according to my app :)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVbOL2axdgqMhf-YB7-R-NOOhOhkYc0R6VBUPvQdRfzaCJvUXN_NZEuM7wGka0kjmXqPiUcAgZRXHEHZptBsKwRzLU1Od4a0ovrQeQ4CjihvkuXDobnPXSqxIptaI-MaDCDTKS-VqY9fI/s1600/IMG_4012.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVbOL2axdgqMhf-YB7-R-NOOhOhkYc0R6VBUPvQdRfzaCJvUXN_NZEuM7wGka0kjmXqPiUcAgZRXHEHZptBsKwRzLU1Od4a0ovrQeQ4CjihvkuXDobnPXSqxIptaI-MaDCDTKS-VqY9fI/s1600/IMG_4012.PNG" height="640" width="358" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The doctors have started me on twice a week testing, every week from here on out. For the next 5 weeks at least. 5 weeks!!! Can you believe that? 5 weeks from today is May 26th. 5 weeks from today I will be 38 weeks. 5 weeks, this baby could be in my arms. I could be posting pictures for you!!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
They are starting to really talk about when they will induce us, because they will induce me...they definitely won't let him stay in me past 39 weeks, but 38 weeks seems to be the new magic number. I told the docs that as long as he is growing well, and he is big and healthy enough for them, that they can get this kid out of me however early they want! I just want him HERE, alive, in my arms! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So...every Monday morning, and most Thursday afternoons (sometimes mornings) I go up to UCMC and have non stress tests and fluid checks done. I've been to three of these appointments so far, and while I am a nervous mess each time, I do leave with so much relief and hope. Each appointment is just another milestone that I can check off my mental list. Zachary seems to be doing well, and I think that if there was any hint of a problem that these appointments will help us find it.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
At our growth scan two weeks ago, he was measuring 1.5 weeks ahead of schedule - which could be from the diabetes, or it could totally be normal. Lots of "normal" pregnancies measure ahead. He weighed 3 pounds and 15 ounces two weeks ago, so you can bet this child is over 4 pounds now. Last week when they did another scan for my fluid and the biophysical profile, his sweet little legs looked so chubby! He's packing on that fat:)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Physically, I feel great. I'll get tired on some days - especially on work days, and have to rest a lot and go to bed early, but other than that it's been uneventful. Last week I had a little bout of nausea here and there, but other then upping my anxiety it didn't really bother me all that much. I can't really complain about anything, other than the stress. And I am really trying hard NOT to stress. I keep busy, or I pray, or I do something to prepare for Zachary in spite of those terrible thoughts and voices that try to scare me. I feel good about it all, really good, and I hope that is a good sign. I can't believe that I will be a mother to an Earth baby, and very soon! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
What will being a mom of a live baby be like, I wonder? What will the birth be like? We decided not to take any classes, which may seem silly or dumb to a lot of people, but for me I know it's the right choice. I think it will only make me anxious to plan too much, and to even be in the hospital for anything other than what I have to do. I have been through a labor experience before, and while I know it will be LOADS different with a bigger, almost full term baby, I know what to expect. I know what the birthing center looks like, I know that labor hurts, I know what to ask for and when to ask for it, and I feel pretty confident. My doctors have pretty much told me that if I ask for a C-section, they will do it. If I want to labor and medicate, they will let me. I tell them that I'm going in there with an open mind, but if I suspect an issue, I want them to c-section him the heck out of me. I'm not one of the types that wants my body to do its job as a woman or a mother, I really don't care. I'm not going to stress myself, or Dave or my family, out with those silly details when the BIG picture is just to get Zachary out of this body ALIVE and well. That's all I care about. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'm going to go into the hospital, and I am going to have a baby. I'm trying to keep it as simple as that! It <i>may </i>be complicated, it <i>will</i> be scary, but God is in control, and I am along for the ride however HE decides to use me. I know a lot of people feel differently, but for me...that is it. I'm going to have a baby. However that happens!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
For now, Zachary and I are doing very well. I am enjoying feeling him move in my belly, and last night he even played with me a little bit. He poked out of the right side of my stomach, and I poked him back, and we did that back and forth for a few minutes. It sorta freaked me out, in the sweetest way possible. I don't know if he was doing it on purpose or if he even understood that I was communicating with him, but it was cute. I am enjoying each day with him, and hoping that our days together aren't numbered. Well, I know that they are numbered, but hopefully that number is really big, and not small.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Thanks for all the love, prayers and support. I can really feel the village rallying behind us, and I can't even express how much I appreciate it! I can't wait to share Zachary with all of you! I'll be back later this week, maybe with a shower update (we have had two amazing showers!), or maybe with a nursery update (it's really coming along!) but I won't be a stranger anymore, I promise!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I hope everyone has a wonderful, relaxing night. Sending hugs to you all! <3</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-71631424626378725102015-03-15T20:19:00.001-04:002015-03-15T20:19:46.405-04:005 years...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoMLupTLbAe65s03sdhRLiPhcSlbLPkCZnvNPVxqfzC9KUHxsK5_JvnDLfF81Gc7PK0LUJoVdFHP4VYtVQIwhf8lJ9QEXgf5kOnb3zvwSM36bnHRy0NtAFoOpAw_nEo5imVvg8DoPdcDU/s1600/75602_105787486158125_5070707_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoMLupTLbAe65s03sdhRLiPhcSlbLPkCZnvNPVxqfzC9KUHxsK5_JvnDLfF81Gc7PK0LUJoVdFHP4VYtVQIwhf8lJ9QEXgf5kOnb3zvwSM36bnHRy0NtAFoOpAw_nEo5imVvg8DoPdcDU/s1600/75602_105787486158125_5070707_n.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<center>
<i>I took this pic of The Blands, Christmas 2008, just a few weeks before Mr. Dave was diagnosed.</i></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Let me tell you about a very special dad. His name is David W. Bland, and he is my husband's father. Five years ago today, Mr. Dave lost his battle to pancreatic cancer. He was such a vibrant, happy man! I miss his corny jokes, and his constant singing around the Bland household. I miss him putting me in head locks. I miss watching him love on his sons and Ashley, he loved them all so much! I miss his beautiful dedication to his wife, Joyce, and his love and passion for God. He was such a wonderful man, and he was taken from us way too soon. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
He was diagnosed in early January of 2009. His doctors never gave a firm time frame, but we knew from the start that it was bad. He battled the cancer so hard, though. He made it so much longer than people with this cancer usually do. For a while there in 2009, we really thought he may have beat an unbeatable cancer, but in the fall things got worse again. By winter 2010, amidst all those crazy blizzards, he was on hospice care. He died at home with Joyce and Dave by his side on March 15th, 2010. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It seemed so unfair to lose him then, if at all, with so many happy events coming in the future. Dave, Matt and I were all graduating at the same time in May (Dave and Matt with Bachelor degrees, me with my Masters) plus, Dave and I were getting married in June...so many BIG milestones that he should have been able to attend and enjoy.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Way back in the day, when we all were youth leaders at the same church, Mr. Dave used to tell me that he was my #1 fan, because he wanted me to marry his son. When Dave and I started hanging out and then dating, he would always ask me how our relationship was going, I think he knew Dave was too shy to talk about it with him whereas I, obviously, talk about everything! When Dave asked me to marry him, he was so excited that I would be joining their family. He was always praying hard for us, and holding us accountable so that our relationship could be blessed. He was awesome like that!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I know that Mr. Dave would be so proud of my Dave today. He is a wonderful husband. He's dedicated, and hard-working, and so much fun to be around. He is also an amazing dad. I know he gets those traits from his father. That goes for Matty as well. Mr Dave also missed Matty and Laurie's wedding, another event we wish he could have been around for. He would also be proud of Ashley and how much she has grown into the young woman she is today, and most of all that she loves church and and Jesus even through these hard teenage years. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
He will miss the birth of his grandchildren this year, ours in May/June, and Matt/Laurie's in July. I know that him not being here for their births will be hard for both Dave and Matt. However, he was the <i>only </i>one of us that got to witness Lily and Jackson being "born" last year, because both were born right into Heaven. And hopefully, after being held by Jesus, they each were passed right into the arms of my father-in-law. As much as I wish they ALL were here with us, that thought comforts me a lot. They are all happy, in Heaven, not sick or scared or anything bad like that, and they all have each other. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I know that it's possible that Mr. Dave still keeps tabs on his family, and has been with us through these past 5 years, but it's not the same has having him here, physically. Dave told me today, that if he could just have a few minutes to talk to his dad, to hug him, to have a conversation together...that would be awesome. I wish with all my heart that I could give that to him. I tell him all the time that I think his dad knows how far we all have come, that he has to be able to see how we all are doing. I really think that is true. I hope that it is. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Grief is such a sucky thing. Losing loved ones is the worse thing that can happen in life. I know we shouldn't feel bad for Mr. Dave, because he is where his heart always wanted to be, but I do feel bad for us. We've lost a wonderful father and friend. No matter how much we love Jesus and try to understand death and Heaven and all that, it still seems totally unfair that we had to say goodbye to him so soon. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We visited his grave today, to tell him we love him and to spend some time telling him what his beautiful life meant to us. As I gave Dave some alone time, I looked up at the sky and saw what looked like an angel in the opening of the clouds. I took it as a sign that everyone up there is more than ok, and that we will be too. One day, we will all be together again. I can't wait. Until then, we love you and miss you, Mr. Dave. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgebOxPDeqqyiyHZY6xNT_7hryMCTuPQcyF9KUjq37gRxAluGGXkX1R6eVGPo34p1aJwvYBJwVjoAvJAs981xHht9729oxyYyxfcw4U3W-BU6Q02TjnsFjIag6oCsBsymhsQUwcXzz1CYE/s1600/IMG_3604.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgebOxPDeqqyiyHZY6xNT_7hryMCTuPQcyF9KUjq37gRxAluGGXkX1R6eVGPo34p1aJwvYBJwVjoAvJAs981xHht9729oxyYyxfcw4U3W-BU6Q02TjnsFjIag6oCsBsymhsQUwcXzz1CYE/s1600/IMG_3604.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-64392719894561675602015-03-06T11:41:00.002-05:002015-03-06T11:41:56.215-05:00Nursery, viability, and such<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHQuuduuqb4zoptpJ1SaM7WrpQxnNXVa__mgcnoB_Wmp4RUnBSSAxxsCyixjzA_AwzEI2wWYFrAGVbbZJpLiXyNIRcNRIPW7g7nWa8K_w_OjF6tUTngHl6Ee-JHyUAEGgR53zFDgkS8xk/s1600/IMG_3502.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHQuuduuqb4zoptpJ1SaM7WrpQxnNXVa__mgcnoB_Wmp4RUnBSSAxxsCyixjzA_AwzEI2wWYFrAGVbbZJpLiXyNIRcNRIPW7g7nWa8K_w_OjF6tUTngHl6Ee-JHyUAEGgR53zFDgkS8xk/s1600/IMG_3502.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Well, here we are. I am 26 weeks and 3 days. Last week, when we saw Dr. Bellantoni, he told us that at 26 weeks our baby has an 80% - 90% chance of survival if he were to be born now. So, if my water broke and they had to get him out, it would possibly go very differently than last time. Maybe. Jackson couldn't survive my water breaking a 21 weeks, and he was gone before the process even began...not that he could have lived long if he was alive after birth. It could be different now. A <i>teeny tiny</i> bit of fear has been lifted from me, because there is some sliver of hope that if all of that happened again - they wouldn't send me home from the hospital, they would watch the baby and me and if his heart rate dropped, they would get him out of me. Not that I want that to happen, but at least one more milestone has been hurdled. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Now that we are in the viability range, my fears are starting to turn towards late stillbirth. I'm trying not to be afraid of my body, but again all the knowledge is working against me. My body can do so many wonderful things like growing this beautiful boy, but it can also do terrible things like kill him as well. Infections, cord accidents, abruption, etc etc. I wish I could get a memory eraser and not know all of those things! Now that he is kicking and I can feel him here and there, I'm always counting, always trying to get him to move so that I know he is ok. It's going to be a long few months...I'm trusting God to get us through it, no matter what happens. I'm praying hard every hour of every day that He wants this baby boy here with us, and not with Him. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Health wise, we are doing well. My diabetes is completely controlled. I even got a "great job" card in the mail from my endocrinologist! I met with him the other day and my A1C, which is the measure of how high or low my sugars have been over the past few months, was a 5.9. When I first became pregnant, after the first month it was up at 6.2. Our main goal is under 6, but I want it under 5.8 - I'm almost there! So while I still eat plenty of carbs and sugar (this baby loooooves sugar) he and I are still as healthy as can be according to my team, not anywhere near a range of risks that could be with gestational diabetes. My diabetes team is awesome, I email two different ladies at the office twice a week and they help me adjust carbs at meals and the insulin if needed. They want me to eat...a LOT. It's hard to eat as much as they want me to! I've gained the most weight in this past month, 6 pounds, but being at the end of my 2nd trimester they said that was normal. I'm starting to feel it in my belly, it's getting a little harder to get out of bed, pick things up or put boots on;) I'm glad flip flop weather is around the corner, I don't have to bend over to get those on!!!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I feel great, I am able to go to work and come home and cook dinner most nights and stay up until 10 or so. I have energy, I'm not sick...so I would say so far, things are going really well. I try to take comfort in that! Somewhere in the back of my mind comes the voice that says that tons of women have great pregnancies and then lose their babies, but I tell it to shut up!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We talked with Dr. Bellantoni about the birth day. I'm due June 9th, but as it is now they won't keep him in there that long, so technically his new due date is June 2nd. I told him my fears of keeping the baby in me even that long. I told him that my preference is that, if at 36 or 37 weeks, they feel he is healthy and developed enough, I want him out of me. The doc told us that is a definite possibility - and he'll talk it over with my high risk doc at St. Joes to see what they think. I don't want this kid in me any longer than he needs to be, because most of the stillbirth stories I know of happen after 36 weeks. This all depends on how he is growing. We go for yet <i>another </i>scan on Monday, which they are trying to assure me is "just a growth scan" to see how he is measuring at the beginning of the 3rd trimester, but I'm still so scared. I hate those scans. They still want to look at the heart and other major organs in case they didn't see anything the last few times. That terrifies me. I know the odds of something being wrong are lower now, and they would have caught anything major by now...but I defy odds, don't I? Something <i>could </i>still be wrong, right? </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Be glad you aren't in my head, it's a nightmare!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So, how am I getting through it all? One day, or hour, or minute at a time. I forced myself to start the baby registry, and that has been really fun. I take some time every day to get on there and add or delete things, to research baby products and scan Etsy for cute baby stuff. It's part of my special time with him, feeling him kick and talking to him like a nut:) I like letting myself imagine using the baby stuff with him here with me, and it makes my heart so happy. But, I'm still so cautious when dreaming about having him here. My mom and friends have started talking about my shower, to be held in April. That terrifies me a little bit, but when I let myself think about it I am excited. And, Dave and I went out last weekend a bought our nursery paint, colors that I agonized over for a month before choosing. We jumped right into the nursery project and now are almost done the major redecorating parts. We've painted all the walls and the closet, put new crisp white paint on the trim and doors, and I just finished steam cleaning the carpets, again. It can't be too clean for our baby!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Dave is chomping at the bit to put the crib up, but I want to wait a little longer. Right now, it could technically just be an empty, repainted room. Once that crib goes up, it's <i>his </i>room, it's a nursery. That crib has been up in the attic since the day after we lost Jackson when we forced ourselves to get it out of our sight before the grief really hit. Getting it back down is going to be hard in more than one way. What if something happens and we just have to put it back up there? So maybe just a few more weeks, then we can do it.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Our nursery theme is going to be a mix of vintage travel/little adventurer. We aren't crazy about typical "themed" nurseries, and we wanted to pick something that we all really love and could be a cool room for a baby, but clean and classy too. Since we love to travel, and want to continue to travel over the world with our little bambino, we chose this theme. The colors are navy and cream, and are really beautiful colors and I think they go with our theme perfectly. We'll add touches of white and natural wood tones too. I'm on the look out for a dresser that I can refinish, but it's been hard to find one. I think we may end up going to IKEA and picking up the Hemnes dresser I see pinned in so many nurseries. Our closet in there is really small and we could use a big dresser for clothes and stuff. It will double as our changing table too.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We've had some fun painting this week over the weekend and our three snow days, and I am very glad that I was able to help and get it done before I get too big or tired to do so! Now I can sit back and let Dave put together furniture, and tell him where to put and hang things. Once we get to that point! I'm super excited to get to the decorating part, but want to wait until I'm a little further along to do all those things. Plus, we need to get through the scan coming up on Monday.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'l leave you with some fun pictures we took while painting. I'll do a nursery inspiration post with updates soon! Prayers are appreciated for our growth scan appointment on Monday, for my sanity (and Dave's while dealing with me) and for our little Baby Boy Bland who almost has a name, but we want to be sure before we proclaim it to the world ;) Please be healthy, and happy, and please stay here on Earth for a very long time! </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6JbOI6Ua9IxQPYCSHDV1iygT9zdmD-25eITur_aj697FB3RMaQjk7DuF8ui8QDlp4jUPuQajLsawQipBWPWMVeFoHT79BcfmzxtfrBxQj5MhA6RMSbZXbHOj3vkiBtPg8CnS-9aZ1uVM/s1600/IMG_3501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6JbOI6Ua9IxQPYCSHDV1iygT9zdmD-25eITur_aj697FB3RMaQjk7DuF8ui8QDlp4jUPuQajLsawQipBWPWMVeFoHT79BcfmzxtfrBxQj5MhA6RMSbZXbHOj3vkiBtPg8CnS-9aZ1uVM/s1600/IMG_3501.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Dave, painting over the yellow that was on the walls. He wrote a sweet note to us on the wall before he started rolling ;) Ashley helped too but I forgot to snap a pic of her, she rolled on most of the cream color. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizJtAzXZ0vFn4qrCEN4VpDj1AnsfrWq1JugrIkqX1DvqrHCvRuS5qYGyyH97wSHBn0gR19Jx5rl5aOaJxqAY8iR012VjnXauK-pHmlEN8awYt3xvqz-cmG1LFteN1exWm1b2velP2jMnY/s1600/IMG_3503.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizJtAzXZ0vFn4qrCEN4VpDj1AnsfrWq1JugrIkqX1DvqrHCvRuS5qYGyyH97wSHBn0gR19Jx5rl5aOaJxqAY8iR012VjnXauK-pHmlEN8awYt3xvqz-cmG1LFteN1exWm1b2velP2jMnY/s1600/IMG_3503.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Don't mind our dirty, crazy hair. This was a snow day, and we hadn't done much other than paint and clean!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5X8HWmAFFCnh47-J7qFYq37-c9uJDqJcOsJeSMnw45IDtsQinWHtAxAKV2Jv_KHoznFf4H7iq78M59iD4EVFuSiy9xdVlLEt27oKgg9F93TYP3OGHXqlZ3zSb-v_-tENl-TnIXhgOPT8/s1600/IMG_3512.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5X8HWmAFFCnh47-J7qFYq37-c9uJDqJcOsJeSMnw45IDtsQinWHtAxAKV2Jv_KHoznFf4H7iq78M59iD4EVFuSiy9xdVlLEt27oKgg9F93TYP3OGHXqlZ3zSb-v_-tENl-TnIXhgOPT8/s1600/IMG_3512.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The color is on the walls, and Dave is starting on the closet and doors here...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3255buPhUUhgkLRONaUs186b3RL6jDVl_Yl1qkfoD78CQd3ARUoxbAA1b2TmXIg96Pfz6B-759hxcTwsYxHV37Nwf9D-R_CyGa6H8TiGzcigm1aR4h_iDc9LlJh7s6iZHSMiuCOJcWdo/s1600/IMG_3520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3255buPhUUhgkLRONaUs186b3RL6jDVl_Yl1qkfoD78CQd3ARUoxbAA1b2TmXIg96Pfz6B-759hxcTwsYxHV37Nwf9D-R_CyGa6H8TiGzcigm1aR4h_iDc9LlJh7s6iZHSMiuCOJcWdo/s1600/IMG_3520.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Trim is done, doing touch ups and starting to clear out the painting supplies so the carpet can be steamed...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Now the room is completely clear and empty and clean. It's just waiting for "the stuff". It's coming right along!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Happy Friday!</center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-81950903743470467172015-02-10T21:30:00.001-05:002015-02-10T21:30:31.961-05:0023rd week emotions<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());">I'll start this emotionally honest post with a beautiful picture for you:)</a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimt1iK-noBWhW9eilDtTIuQHs2vzsFSgwZ39ytY65WBmjPt7vB2Aw0pWjccTA3bPvmFjltEhnHa_fXwQMUZR0GPJrfw3EfE8x67EPTTpe8XLptm_IRK0LdO_ZffP_fInDua4DYM6vLdls/s1600/IMG_3305.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimt1iK-noBWhW9eilDtTIuQHs2vzsFSgwZ39ytY65WBmjPt7vB2Aw0pWjccTA3bPvmFjltEhnHa_fXwQMUZR0GPJrfw3EfE8x67EPTTpe8XLptm_IRK0LdO_ZffP_fInDua4DYM6vLdls/s1600/IMG_3305.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: center;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We finally have a nice, updated photo of our big boy. I can't believe that he is in there, swimming in my belly! His profile is precious to me, and you can see one of his legs up in the air, and a hand behind that. He was very precocious during our scan yesterday, it was fun to see his personality already shining through.</center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
On the to honest part: Pregnancy after loss is <i>hard.</i> That isn't a complaint, though. I am very thankful to be pregnant again so soon after losing Jackson. I know that it is a blessing, and a deep desire in a lot of women. I don't want to offend anyone who is trying and going through the trials of infertility. Our desires are the same, to bring home a healthy baby, no matter what we have to do or put our bodies through. Nor do I want to offend those who have lost later that I have. It's a totally different experience, yet again we dream of the same thing. A healthy, happy baby!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Today marks 23 weeks for us. Yesterday, we had to overcome another big obstacle in this pregnancy with our baby boy. We had to return for another scan for more measurements and most of all, to get the echocardiograph on his heart. This is routine for a high risker, and I am high risk because of the gestational diabetes, and now high blood pressure. Both conditions are very well controlled, and very well managed by our team, but still...I have to go through all the tests. In all honesty, I really don't mind. We have to get seen more than a normal pregnancy, and therefore have more opportunities to catch any problems, and for that I am extremely grateful. I am also extremely anxious.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
For our 20 week ultrasound a few weeks ago, the anxiety hit me the day before. That evening before I was crying on and off, and really nothing anyone could say would help me. This time, it hit me in the morning. I woke up yesterday around 7:00, and the tears started rolling. I could barely eat or talk to Dave, I just wanted to get the scan over with and have the peace of good news. I cried the whole way down to St Joes. I wish I could overcome it, but I am not built for overcoming this raw fear I have inside of me. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Being a Christian and loving Jesus and trusting God is such a roller coaster during this. Every positive thought has an immediate negative comment. I'm told that is the devil telling me lies, and that could be true - but what about last time? What about with Jackson? I had fears and negative comments in my head then too! And then I lost him! Those thoughts were right! So much goes through my mind all at once on a daily basis, but on days that we have these "big" appointments, I can hardly stand to be awake. Here are just a few things that were going through my head...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Today is the day we are going to get bad news. </i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Something is wrong with his heart, I know it.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>I can't stand to go through a scan where the tech is all quiet again and I have no freaking clue what is going on.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>I can't stand to go through the doctor coming in and silently looking at those pictures and not talking to me.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>I just want good news.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>This can't end well.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>This has to end well, we deserve it!</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>We don't deserve it at all.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>We've had so much good news so far, we are bound to have bad news soon.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>How many more of these scans do we have to endure?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>How will Dave handle another loss?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>How will WE handle another loss?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>What will I say to everyone when we get bad news?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Will I have to give birth to a still and silent baby again?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>We aren't going to get bad news, all is going to be ok.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>I have no freaking clue if things are going to be ok or not. No one does. </i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Add a million other things that I am too ashamed to write about here, and that is what was going through my mind yesterday morning. I usually feel that I have a good grip on this whole PAL anxiety thing, but on test or appointment days, it gets the best of me. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
And now, going forward into this unknown and unfamiliar pregnancy territory, I have more thoughts going through my head. Should I <i>bother</i> thinking of a name? Should I <i>hire</i> a doula? Should I go and clean out the nursery? Should I paint the samples on the wall and choose? How prepared <i>should </i>I be? Am I building a human, or another angel that I can't bring home? I am <i>supposed</i> to be choosing hope, choosing to believe that this is happening. But...<b>is this happening</b>?</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'm not going to lie. It's very tough. When you've been a statistic on the bad side of things, <i>more than once</i>, its very tough to overcome it all. We aren't built to endure this alone. I do trust God, but trusting him and getting what I really want and hope for don't go hand and hand. I have to trust no matter what.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So, knowing full well that I have very little control over what happens to our baby, and very little control what happens to me (I say very little because I can control taking my meds and trying to be healthy and resting and doing yoga and all that wellness stuff) I chose to pray constantly yesterday. As we started on the road, Dave prayed for God to give us peace, and good news, and the tears starting flowing freely again. After he was done, I decided to shut out all those crazy and negative thoughts and just repeat a simple prayer "mantra":</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Give us hope, give us peace, and please Jesus - FIGHT FOR US.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
And I said it over and over and over in my head. All the way down 95, and then 695, all the way until I got into the office, and I even said it then a few times, and during the scan a lot.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I figured that no matter what God's plan is for this pregnancy, that prayer would fit. Healthy baby or sick baby or no baby at all, Dave and I (and our families) we need hope, we definitely need peace, and we need Jesus to fight the battle for us. I can't fight this anxiety. I KNOW it's not of him. You can tell me not to stress or worry and you can quote scripture to me until we are both blue, but I KNOW it. I can't seem to tell my heart or mind to calm the heck down though. He can fight the anxiety for me, He can fight whatever feeling is here or coming down the road. I need Him to be my warrior, because I still have 17 weeks to go (hopefully) and I can't imagine that it's going to get any easier. It's going to just get harder. I need a warrior.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The scan was excruciating, because it lasted almost 2 hours. Tons of pictures, a very silent technician. What is she seeing? Are there problems? I have no idea what these things on the screen are!! The heart looks good to me, but what do I know? We told her a bit of our story, and that we were anxious, but she didn't give us any indication that things were good or bad. Finally, the doc came in, and she was better. She knows us and our story because she gave us the news about Jackson. This time, she was reassuring. She looked through the pictures so fast, I knew that something couldn't have been wrong because she didn't linger on any. She said over and over that she didn't see any problems. She had the tech scan a couple other places, but immediately told us that it was just to get the pictures, not because she saw anything going on. She was great, very sweet. She walked us through the next few appointments we would have to do...nothing again for another month and even then it was just about measuring his growth.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
For now, everything looks great. For now.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It's heartbreaking to plan for two different scenarios. If the baby lives. If the baby dies. But I think that way. So, I try not to think about either, and just take each day as it comes. That makes it easy. I know that I'll have to plan ahead FOR LIFE eventually, but the day by day mind set really helps. Every now and then I send a prayer up to God and say, if it's not too much to ask, if He could let me have an easy pregnancy, and an easy birth experience, and a very healthy baby, <i>please</i>. I don't think I could handle it otherwise, but of course I know better. I know I can handle anything with Him. <i>I just don't want to do it again, that's all.</i> If it's not too much to ask.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
A very big thank you to everyone who is praying for us and helping us through this. It is very hard for us, and we need all the love and support and prayer warriors we can get. I don't post this stuff to get attention, or the likes or the comments. I write and post it all because I need you, and my family needs you, and I know that prayer works and the more of us coming together to pray the better. I hope that my intentions are transparent in that way. So thank you for being there for us:)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-65448226246489341082015-01-27T18:57:00.002-05:002015-01-27T18:57:38.895-05:00The 21st week<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPer8Yw5L9AgYvJ08Rswc139uhBV3HmsQrjX8N5pw1U6mT7UPg8Kg_Oq0R2emncXJYhrPMdYlEvYdzlAs5JJ342dbvr0HCDIt_6GFHoscXknn7g7J5e_Janp3hz273-S3qB80bKFXA6FM/s1600/IMG_3250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPer8Yw5L9AgYvJ08Rswc139uhBV3HmsQrjX8N5pw1U6mT7UPg8Kg_Oq0R2emncXJYhrPMdYlEvYdzlAs5JJ342dbvr0HCDIt_6GFHoscXknn7g7J5e_Janp3hz273-S3qB80bKFXA6FM/s1600/IMG_3250.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I battled with myself all day as whether to post something tonight or not. I felt like writing about it would jinx us, but then I had to remind myself that I don't <i>believe </i>in jinxes. So, I am getting over it and writing a little something. Writing always helps me feel better, and sort through my crazy. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It was on this day last June, the exact 21 week mark (which was also a Tuesday) that everything went terribly wrong in my pregnancy with Jackson. Right before Dave left for work, my water broke. It was the beginning of the end. <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/07/your-story-part-1.html" target="_blank">Tuesday</a>, that evening after calling the doc, we went to the birth center and were sent home with more questions than answers. <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/08/your-story-part-2.html" target="_blank">Wednesday</a>, at a follow up ultrasound, we found out he was gone and were admitted. <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/08/your-story-part-3.html" target="_blank">Thursday</a> he was born, and taken away from us in the physical world.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I know that this time around is a different pregnancy. It's so hard not to compare these pregnancies. I know I put this all in my own mind, and make up these "milestones" all on my own...but it's hard not to think about today. It's impossible to push from my mind. Everything is similar as far as the timing, the days, the scan. Everything is different too. I'm worried, but only because my memories are making me so. Not because I actually have anything real to worry about as of yet. I do it to myself.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I keep reminding myself that today, <i>this time</i>, I feel peace. I was able to enjoy Baby Boy bouncing around in there all day. We had a two hour delay from the non-weather, and I have a pretty fierce head cold, and work was busy...and for all that I am glad. It all kept my mind running on other things. When I got home, I told myself over and over <i>not </i>to be afraid of the bathroom, <i>not </i>to be afraid of resting in bed, like I was doing that night. The night still isn't over, but I feel peaceful. Yes the memories are hard to fight, but the peace is stronger. It's ok to remember and reflect, but I have to remember this time <i>is</i> different.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I think it's just that I miss Jackson <i>a lot </i>today. This day was our last together, when I was pregnant with him. I found myself talking to and thinking towards Baby Boy more than ever today, maybe just in case. Every day he should be able to feel my love and excitement for him, instead of being scared of him and for him all the time. I don't want this to be our last day together. I want millions of days together. This time is different.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'm sure this week will pass without problems, but I can't be <i>certain</i>. No one can be. I'm learning to live with that, to live with whatever God's plan is. Sometimes its to bless us and let us be happy, sometimes it's to get us through really tough times. Who knows what God's plan is for us this time around? I'm faithful, no matter what, but I have hope that this time we will have a happier ending.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
In honor of this day, I finally hung up all of our Jackson and Lily Memorial artwork. I've been meaning to hang it all since October, but I either didn't have the energy, or the heart, to do it. Last night Dave helped me create the space, and we now have a sweet little spot to blow kisses at our angels, as we go up and down our stairs. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
I used one of my three shelves that I built, I am so proud of myself for building them! It's the little things;)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWR92-tivfoZf_qDNle4YquQJ5x57Uulj8XlWtSyb6BFfxw2QX_UMGjifRoTUD70ZJo7rZ24gctjJ1_YlscnD4XN3DFhVaM6dpgnWHjYwdzACkmUQgpUYDSpifn0568RCu7OwIEFjLCcU/s1600/IMG_3251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWR92-tivfoZf_qDNle4YquQJ5x57Uulj8XlWtSyb6BFfxw2QX_UMGjifRoTUD70ZJo7rZ24gctjJ1_YlscnD4XN3DFhVaM6dpgnWHjYwdzACkmUQgpUYDSpifn0568RCu7OwIEFjLCcU/s1600/IMG_3251.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
My BFF, Heather, made the Lily & Jackson anchor shadow box, and I made the top two pictures and memories for <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/10/day-21-relationship.html" target="_blank">our memorial</a>. The two pictures on the shelf on either side of the anchor are beautiful name artwork from <a href="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/" target="_blank">Carly Marie</a>. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO-urgVqOacESRaZiZlU9T19AjoKYKHtg8ZO4A4PHBr3tmX6EwRDhrd0jZVe3E_nsb0TYx2kyBAQTszR2R9n9tGvlr0q0xkhfuFRWuzy1CdmhxN-cXgk4JTZfU_shjxf2jlxkiowgNVkY/s1600/IMG_3252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO-urgVqOacESRaZiZlU9T19AjoKYKHtg8ZO4A4PHBr3tmX6EwRDhrd0jZVe3E_nsb0TYx2kyBAQTszR2R9n9tGvlr0q0xkhfuFRWuzy1CdmhxN-cXgk4JTZfU_shjxf2jlxkiowgNVkY/s1600/IMG_3252.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
They are an extension of our awesome gallery wall, which I created and hung two years ago. Um, I need to update all of those pictures!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL1oC7j63Jsgjy33mZi_J2yFOac6dMHNRrzut7wSWGu4IgoOuyVmuwz_hqxONuhNj2oOaz9NxG4qV_okvVxPOWp0yEVnTgg1YVmHhNnV92c1TpXl2N5mKBZw1EEN9NAEXqxcZ5LzavMTw/s1600/IMG_3253.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL1oC7j63Jsgjy33mZi_J2yFOac6dMHNRrzut7wSWGu4IgoOuyVmuwz_hqxONuhNj2oOaz9NxG4qV_okvVxPOWp0yEVnTgg1YVmHhNnV92c1TpXl2N5mKBZw1EEN9NAEXqxcZ5LzavMTw/s1600/IMG_3253.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Here's a shot with our striped hallway. Don't mind the doors, hardware, and railing. It's all going to be updated! It's on the to do list, that's never ending;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I love having the memorial stuff hung now, so that Jackson and Lily actually have a spot in our home. I thought they may be hard to look at over and over, but that is not the case. They have always been a part of our lives since their lives began, so having the pictures up doesn't make that any different, it just makes my heart happy to have a spot to honor their short and sweet lives and what they mean to us. Forever & always.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So, here's to the wonderful memory of the two angel babies that made me a momma. Here's to the new life growing inside me that I hope to meet face to face in June. While my feelings are all over the place tonight, I am just going to take this week <i>one minute at a time</i>, and be thankful for all that I have and all that I have been through and all that I am learning. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I can't wait to experience the last half of my pregnancy, since from here on out I have no idea what to expect. I like that from this point forward, it all seems to be new...and different. <i>God please bless us and this new little life you have given us. Get us through the next 4 and a half months safely, and happily. And give me peace tonight as I reflect on all that has happened, and all that is coming. Thank you!</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Fsrc%3Dheader&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F1.bp.blogspot.com%252F-69eFXvza77g%252FVMggZTjxsDI%252FAAAAAAAAEwc%252FnskLzZze0vg%252Fs1600%252FIMG_3250.jpg%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 233px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Fsrc%3Dheader&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F1.bp.blogspot.com%252F-69eFXvza77g%252FVMggZTjxsDI%252FAAAAAAAAEwc%252FnskLzZze0vg%252Fs1600%252FIMG_3250.jpg%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 233px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-65425356896816189882015-01-26T12:52:00.002-05:002015-01-26T12:52:53.271-05:00Mason Jar Makeover<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2-oHDq-Iv9eRaxLet4ow6066aZoHnReTOmf247Ab4sYx7O6CmdhQGIKt3QXJdb98HCu8vwozFxlDd5z0-20twc6gZT0tf_Qm5zvh-vEv5p6Y9PQZw0crMRRlITMJEjsSV53Mhd2a2SxE/s1600/IMG_3187.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2-oHDq-Iv9eRaxLet4ow6066aZoHnReTOmf247Ab4sYx7O6CmdhQGIKt3QXJdb98HCu8vwozFxlDd5z0-20twc6gZT0tf_Qm5zvh-vEv5p6Y9PQZw0crMRRlITMJEjsSV53Mhd2a2SxE/s1600/IMG_3187.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Last weekend I had tons of pent up anxiety because our <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2015/01/20-weeks-and-counting.html" target="_blank">anatomy scan</a> was coming up, so I made the best of the icky feelings and turned them into energy for fun projects around the house! I vintaged-out an IKEA mirror, I finished my DIY shelves, and I painted some mason jars! I've seen these a lot on <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/" target="_blank">Pinterest</a> and have been interested in trying it out for myself. I love the old timey, vintage but pretty look of them. So I found a <a href="http://masonjarcraftslove.com/painted-mason-jars-pink-ombre/" target="_blank">pin with directions</a> I could follow, and got to work!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I have tons of mason jars around the house, because we use them as our drinking glasses and I keep all my spices and herbs and baking ingredients in them. I found three big ones that weren't being used in our basement storage (aka "the closet" - what a scary mess!) so I pulled them out and washed them really well with warm water and soup, and then sat them out to dry while I pulled my supplies together.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSM8j-pOoj3a23jNCOxARFw7iMXDNZa1srv4WRzgez0-WSr8i9eZoPHB5WapQEIJDRp-VZXyXRWITWBxrQLUjs8Vf85Ek-NwDlgKd-ZMYtXOpxdSGbPzFJ1th08NXsWwNxkncGEA5Z6sA/s1600/IMG_3132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSM8j-pOoj3a23jNCOxARFw7iMXDNZa1srv4WRzgez0-WSr8i9eZoPHB5WapQEIJDRp-VZXyXRWITWBxrQLUjs8Vf85Ek-NwDlgKd-ZMYtXOpxdSGbPzFJ1th08NXsWwNxkncGEA5Z6sA/s1600/IMG_3132.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I have a ton of these little test pots of paint, from all the various paint projects Ive done in the house over the years, so I narrowed down to two different blueish greens that I liked. With the jars all dried and set up on newspaper, I got to work!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-wmV69bQwtblxe1PkGYgszpVg94kDWc8_orDhrdUWbRcv4g8CaM6jf4RJGFlVZSlrBhrpkR6gkwYNdztYUb6K2v2juZ2-9pghE3DsFpupSdh4ts18DVk-kYl5PsnA5ls4P8gmMvU64O8/s1600/IMG_3139.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-wmV69bQwtblxe1PkGYgszpVg94kDWc8_orDhrdUWbRcv4g8CaM6jf4RJGFlVZSlrBhrpkR6gkwYNdztYUb6K2v2juZ2-9pghE3DsFpupSdh4ts18DVk-kYl5PsnA5ls4P8gmMvU64O8/s1600/IMG_3139.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
That's me, messy bed head and all, with freshly painted nails, ready to tackle the jars;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdVHdo2WgnwiEZ58vHGFEsfj03xnl9DjloOmKo8XvGIqB68A1G3L3PAx0fbr-zoJoyhaodG-NG0C_JvWGCriEeDtoZ7MbetZU8VYbHzcKXI2R0ziCl8x7V419Ksph3V4tFRoiKpb8wZP0/s1600/IMG_3133.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdVHdo2WgnwiEZ58vHGFEsfj03xnl9DjloOmKo8XvGIqB68A1G3L3PAx0fbr-zoJoyhaodG-NG0C_JvWGCriEeDtoZ7MbetZU8VYbHzcKXI2R0ziCl8x7V419Ksph3V4tFRoiKpb8wZP0/s1600/IMG_3133.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
Like the directions say on the website I pinned, I painted the tops first, making sure to get right inside the rims of the jars. I had no idea how these would turn out with this kind of paint, but the color was so pretty I decided to risk it. I think she used craft paints, but whatever...use what ya got! These are low odor, no VOC paints from Home D, so no harm to the baby...however I did crack a window and hide my nose in my shirt a lot, just in case!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbeSCRgscYYDnZrBEMd2yfJQKGMm2jbWtEsH5juKnBa7KAIuLv13Er58Gzi0vRYHMw8kZTLR3cwAb0OQnXX99DqzNjY_UlH3AOLYpVU9Yx2iXdEbhWLTC6Jfc7CI_gdJ1oj6CHrGoXik/s1600/IMG_3142.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbeSCRgscYYDnZrBEMd2yfJQKGMm2jbWtEsH5juKnBa7KAIuLv13Er58Gzi0vRYHMw8kZTLR3cwAb0OQnXX99DqzNjY_UlH3AOLYpVU9Yx2iXdEbhWLTC6Jfc7CI_gdJ1oj6CHrGoXik/s1600/IMG_3142.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Then I flipped em over and painted the bottoms. Don't mind the mess in the background, our house is a disaster most of the time. I'm too tired growing a baby and too busy thinking of more crazy projects to clean;)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIgn6ClwHitPTLfVI888X3LvS4u9DSBTPmyRGA9qYQgMkX0e2fdJsEO4P7FGWY8SmrCxdjV2tw8dMHLUSD-LIYlEkFr5LlKlvRXv1be6AgCpP4-wNRmGGjG2HSxuNfde1itldyd-wUZaQ/s1600/IMG_3145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIgn6ClwHitPTLfVI888X3LvS4u9DSBTPmyRGA9qYQgMkX0e2fdJsEO4P7FGWY8SmrCxdjV2tw8dMHLUSD-LIYlEkFr5LlKlvRXv1be6AgCpP4-wNRmGGjG2HSxuNfde1itldyd-wUZaQ/s1600/IMG_3145.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
So here they are with one coat of paint. I let these dry to the touch, about an hour or so, and then I did the whole process over again. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqn8EVFWdSWz-rfjBez9OFucxyqc9CsmW60tLMGZ3Fb9CVzhK5AHwp0McMhkkJ69mmUp1L79bRL799X7_zuDBXMk9WTT_LE85eqlihjJJ-sYlPWcRvh-wMOqgWjRNuMtARlNPcR7k5_Wc/s1600/IMG_3152.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqn8EVFWdSWz-rfjBez9OFucxyqc9CsmW60tLMGZ3Fb9CVzhK5AHwp0McMhkkJ69mmUp1L79bRL799X7_zuDBXMk9WTT_LE85eqlihjJJ-sYlPWcRvh-wMOqgWjRNuMtARlNPcR7k5_Wc/s1600/IMG_3152.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I let them dry for a full 24 hours after the second coat. The directions said to let them cure, so that the paint can dry and really attach. That was a good idea, in theory, but with this paint, it made the next part much harder! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbg8Jbpn4Tbx5jq1wF6T6YrPPHkau5te9zlFvoQ-GK9aOZJ1L3jC7K_a8s-oOZaCklKHjuXtia9dz_YUMyusCkUzTbuxhXxeuDFT6JMJ5nYJF07zKEvSpv5fSBdhyphenhyphenQKLZY44F31-TryDs/s1600/IMG_3170.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbg8Jbpn4Tbx5jq1wF6T6YrPPHkau5te9zlFvoQ-GK9aOZJ1L3jC7K_a8s-oOZaCklKHjuXtia9dz_YUMyusCkUzTbuxhXxeuDFT6JMJ5nYJF07zKEvSpv5fSBdhyphenhyphenQKLZY44F31-TryDs/s1600/IMG_3170.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
To achieve the "vintage" look, I had to beat them up a little bit. I had to really use some muscle for this! So, after waiting a day, I took some sand paper and a nail file to the jars to shave off some of the paint for the desired look!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisbGPRO3oYfuwriHn67CBVrbDWWZA76mEZyfGos9R1bEN_0JSQmkDBTJ0qup4mjf1PeeUuUv1gZ_LMhxrVNtCpEwNtRQnfg3UIMYIAwkVtsKsGW4iatlR3_bN9AIJS12yDc6QKI_Mww8g/s1600/IMG_3171.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisbGPRO3oYfuwriHn67CBVrbDWWZA76mEZyfGos9R1bEN_0JSQmkDBTJ0qup4mjf1PeeUuUv1gZ_LMhxrVNtCpEwNtRQnfg3UIMYIAwkVtsKsGW4iatlR3_bN9AIJS12yDc6QKI_Mww8g/s1600/IMG_3171.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I had to sand and sand and file and file. This paint was TOUGH. But, after about 5-10 minutes on each jar, they looked really great! I washed them down and let them dry.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHxOhMgL1YIYfWGZ28DFnmeODCFTI3xBKAevOrTIUoA10gEfC8PuW_K5sdgXJTMpleSb-sZXxh4JNevnse5Wnb2pwlwW-wA5wTmmYGS6hJECjs5ac7FuJKEoVAuV5E_GcVkjCnmiRYEeU/s1600/IMG_3174.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHxOhMgL1YIYfWGZ28DFnmeODCFTI3xBKAevOrTIUoA10gEfC8PuW_K5sdgXJTMpleSb-sZXxh4JNevnse5Wnb2pwlwW-wA5wTmmYGS6hJECjs5ac7FuJKEoVAuV5E_GcVkjCnmiRYEeU/s1600/IMG_3174.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
See how the "Ball" logo sort of peeks through now? I also rubbed some random spaces off around the edges, and on the rim. I love them!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ive been wanting to change up the junk and decor on my shelf in the dining area. I loathe how dark all the furniture is and I'm still thinking up ways to change that. I desperately want to build a farmhouse table, but that will have to wait until after Baby Boy is born. I also want to dial down the red, and add softer colors, a more vintage mixed with industrial type look. It'll take a while, but I think the mason jars are a good start. Here what it looked like before...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZzDn9f0GRW3FnvXf5ifz-huTbDcFdnQo8y6QnzmbloAPjWCdbJNuo-3_qDZ_-Kly9ZoYHeKbaJEv90JTJty5rBq3mwjSAcrnWAcNDYwtF85bOxLgVgvHqtwGvxdc-UDpcwaU0mZ_rBFM/s1600/IMG_3146.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZzDn9f0GRW3FnvXf5ifz-huTbDcFdnQo8y6QnzmbloAPjWCdbJNuo-3_qDZ_-Kly9ZoYHeKbaJEv90JTJty5rBq3mwjSAcrnWAcNDYwtF85bOxLgVgvHqtwGvxdc-UDpcwaU0mZ_rBFM/s1600/IMG_3146.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Again, don't mind the mess and junk, its everywhere. I cleaned off the top of the shelf and added the jars.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXauqbLZtVD0BnZ8ZShvhO7nJu_gDk4jwaiQQKTaXF8eYOdpYAXjr7dG6LEIjcZwdpNcN7JNWGNCR_HZp99EMtm_n791iOGJr1_fDAJ8YmYf7XkXhNwlOu4yR8MVksiGrRXxfjJV1aow/s1600/IMG_3184.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXauqbLZtVD0BnZ8ZShvhO7nJu_gDk4jwaiQQKTaXF8eYOdpYAXjr7dG6LEIjcZwdpNcN7JNWGNCR_HZp99EMtm_n791iOGJr1_fDAJ8YmYf7XkXhNwlOu4yR8MVksiGrRXxfjJV1aow/s1600/IMG_3184.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Oh, how I love these! I want to make more, in all colors!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlyW8sVx5a2C9yOVwzXYc0fFtH30bMNrbAWNKnvAy781cMcJGUMbvUnpmzQxb_jpF6n_YX-FiWvkhXvX4fz2fiqE0M3FlpL35_9aHFkeTZU47BG6EEEgoHZ9BLXq01MJl4EK1w4NnjdRQ/s1600/IMG_3185.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlyW8sVx5a2C9yOVwzXYc0fFtH30bMNrbAWNKnvAy781cMcJGUMbvUnpmzQxb_jpF6n_YX-FiWvkhXvX4fz2fiqE0M3FlpL35_9aHFkeTZU47BG6EEEgoHZ9BLXq01MJl4EK1w4NnjdRQ/s1600/IMG_3185.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I went out to Michael's and bought some pretty flowers to display in the jars. This completed the look, just how I envisioned them!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3cAioEUF-o881ia424nDhS3KuSyJ-gbZl_rVZrwKueUQbnlmvY8v6kgKankl72Y6EU0_utljw3gjrcaEADYNf_oUkRTJBeglv5Umn8_PRNEDr0si-Zg_PBht7d03QFSRjGJDYNSsfd7w/s1600/IMG_3188.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3cAioEUF-o881ia424nDhS3KuSyJ-gbZl_rVZrwKueUQbnlmvY8v6kgKankl72Y6EU0_utljw3gjrcaEADYNf_oUkRTJBeglv5Umn8_PRNEDr0si-Zg_PBht7d03QFSRjGJDYNSsfd7w/s1600/IMG_3188.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
They really soften the look of the shelf, so it's a step in the right direction for me. I love how they look with my <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2012/08/come-stencil-with-me.html" target="_blank">stenciled wall</a> too! Perfecto!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2JlURwfcCNSDA1nRkIxPdER9n8wrfNWxe5UVVQPoGP-s_zX6xhZspcyUW5OvsitTGKfejnJ_-EPaLgUUh88DI6uKrCvMe5eA42qBMOCTNRctr0iuPcrfbyvmF9HqLVZ2Zbcy2xUVvBtE/s1600/IMG_3189.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2JlURwfcCNSDA1nRkIxPdER9n8wrfNWxe5UVVQPoGP-s_zX6xhZspcyUW5OvsitTGKfejnJ_-EPaLgUUh88DI6uKrCvMe5eA42qBMOCTNRctr0iuPcrfbyvmF9HqLVZ2Zbcy2xUVvBtE/s1600/IMG_3189.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I added some of the stuff back to the shelf, but I may end up changing all that around. I need to do a good cleaning and purging of the junk in our house. It's starting to bug me. Oh how I love decorating our home!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFF1bHDqghqUv5RgpQORoUyJ9ZigkDHUc7su3vgl8UTfRkjxc27WQXPbpbKFARhETY5_2n_oEoohGOBUgJClrYqJM9UC65WOG00-_QJrR9FxhVLg9z0TdKPOix9IAPQf8SvA68pvAJLlg/s1600/IMG_3186.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFF1bHDqghqUv5RgpQORoUyJ9ZigkDHUc7su3vgl8UTfRkjxc27WQXPbpbKFARhETY5_2n_oEoohGOBUgJClrYqJM9UC65WOG00-_QJrR9FxhVLg9z0TdKPOix9IAPQf8SvA68pvAJLlg/s1600/IMG_3186.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Overall, this jar project was totally easy and fun, and I can't wait to make more. I'm sure I'll have tons more nervous energy between now and June, so let's see how much crazy I can get into!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Cheers!</center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Fsrc%3Dheader&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F1.bp.blogspot.com%252F-VWfC1hIR6GM%252FVMZ4af-zIyI%252FAAAAAAAAEv8%252FhTU505GJjKQ%252Fs1600%252FIMG_3187.jpg%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Fsrc%3Dheader&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F1.bp.blogspot.com%252F-VWfC1hIR6GM%252FVMZ4af-zIyI%252FAAAAAAAAEv8%252FhTU505GJjKQ%252Fs1600%252FIMG_3187.jpg%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Fsrc%3Dheader&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F1.bp.blogspot.com%252F-VWfC1hIR6GM%252FVMZ4af-zIyI%252FAAAAAAAAEv8%252FhTU505GJjKQ%252Fs1600%252FIMG_3187.jpg%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D2028380621982895053%23editor%2Fsrc%3Dheader&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F1.bp.blogspot.com%252F-VWfC1hIR6GM%252FVMZ4af-zIyI%252FAAAAAAAAEv8%252FhTU505GJjKQ%252Fs1600%252FIMG_3187.jpg%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 18px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-49168661615229833822015-01-22T22:48:00.000-05:002015-01-22T22:48:08.561-05:0020 weeks and counting...<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Sometimes I wonder at the wisdom of sharing my whole life of grief and pregnancy here on the blog. I am always getting reminders that yes, this has been a good decision. Ok, sure, a whole lot of people know a lot of my personal business, as much as my family and best friends know, but that doesn't bother me at all. This week, I really needed as much love and prayer and support as I could get, and the blog and by extension my Facebook was an amazing help with that! The call for support and prayer...that is what social media should be for! Our army was out there, begging God to take care of us and fight for us and keep us safe and sane. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
For the first part of this subsequent pregnancy of mine, I could tuck away most of my fears and anxieties that crop up after the pregnancy loss ordeal we experienced last time. From September to December, I could get up every day and not be terribly worried, not freak out about each thing, for the most part. Doctor visits and some bathroom visits were the only times my fears would claw their way back to me.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
But now, that I am 20 weeks, I feel that I have to work a little harder, and fight a little more, to be relaxed and not let all that baby-death knowledge rule my life. Especially with the "21 week" mark coming up next week. On Monday night, I think I had a true episode of PTSD. I didn't go crazy or anything, but I basically cried all night long. Every time I went to the bathroom, I was afraid my water was going to break, and that may be a fear that I deal with constantly from now on...it just showed up on my bathroom door, reminding me of what happened with Jackson. I tucked myself away in our room, barely talking to anyone except for Dave who would check on me, or my mom who threatened to come over and take care of me. The thought of our anatomy scan looming the next morning was too much for my heart to bare. I kept thinking about the follow up scan that forever changed our lives last June, with the tech and the scanning and the silence and the doctor...goodness my heart is pounding just writing about it. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I didn't want to go. I thought about calling them and canceling. I thought about being sick instead. But I knew that the BEST thing for this baby of ours was to go and get checked out, to make sure all was ok because if it isn't, we could still work hard to make this all work out for good. I didn't want to go, but I knew I had to. I didn't sleep well all weekend. It was the roughest time of this whole thing so far.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Tuesday, we woke up and got ready, and headed down to St. Joes. Dave prayed in the car on the way down, I cried here and there, and we talked to try to get our minds off of what we were about to do. Now, if you are pregnant and it's your first, or you've never experienced loss, then DO NOT worry. You should be excited for this appointment, it's a fun one. The chance of something being wrong is so, so low. But for us, with fear <i>deeply rooted </i>in an actual loss experience, it just can't be fun anymore. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
When we got there and parked, I told Dave I couldn't do it. I didn't want to leave the car. He was firm, and told me I had to go...that he would drag me in there if he had too. My breathing got deep and quick, and the panic was right on the cusp. We checked into the office and sat down. I went to use the bathroom a few times, and I noticed that as I was sitting there in a room full of preggo women, that my panic had suddenly subsided. I knew it had to be the prayers that were coming in. A few people had told me or texted me that right around 11am, they would be praying. I felt it. I had a calm that I couldn't understand. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The tech, Leslie, called us back. I was completely honest with her and told her I was a nervous mess, and we told her why. She was so sweet and positive, and jumped into the scan with complete confidence that everything would be ok. She put the wand on my belly, and right away pulled up the baby's heartbeat so we could hear it. It was such a beautiful sound. I wasn't quite worried about that part though, because I had felt the baby move that morning.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
She started scanning some more and I saw the head. A full, closed, big beautiful head. I saw arms and legs. I quickly started checking off the problems or diseases our baby doesn't have because of what I was seeing. Head looked good - probably no anenchephaly. Spine looked pretty good - a slew of disabilities checked off. Four chambers in the heart - another good sign. Check check check. Baby was moving, and dancing, and all was going well. She had me get up to use the bathroom a few times, and thoroughly explained what she was seeing and scanning. Baby wasn't giving her great views, or at least staying in a position where she could get good pics, but she said halfway through that nothing that she saw was surprising, all looked normal. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Finally she shared with us that we are having a boy, "I see some boy parts!" was her exclamation! Dave and I were ecstatic, but shocked. We were certain we were going to have a girl this time. I felt like I had an inkling this time around, but I was totally wrong! Poor kid, we've been calling him "Zoe" for a month. We picked out the name Zoe even before we were pregnant, because I learned that the name means "Life" and what better name for a baby after loss, right? Well, we will have to save that one! We have NO names for a boy, but we are working on it;)</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
After about an hour, she said for us to take a break. She wanted me to stretch, and wiggle around, and see if we couldn't get baby in a better position. When she came back in, she had the doctor with her. The.Same.Doctor. Dr. Cootauco, who told us that Jackson was gone back in June, came in to look at our scan. This is routine at St. Joes, doctors come in no matter what especially in high risk preggo woman, and consult on the pics. They came in and we all sat down, Doc told us that she remembered us and asked us how we were, if they had ever found a reason for Jackson's death, and asked about how things were going this time. Then, she sat down and looked at our scan for a good 2 or 3 minutes.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
This part was indescribably excruciating. I was nervous, but I think Dave nearly passed out. I could tell that he was anxious, but it wasn't until afterwards when we talked about it in the car that I realized just how bad off he was. He said he couldn't even look at me, let alone talk. He was paralyzed. Fear does that to us. The silence while looking through those pictures, <i>good gracious</i>. Finally, after what seemed like a year of agony, Doc said that she didn't see anything that concerns her. She wanted Leslie to get a few more pictures, because Baby Boy wasn't cooperating very well, so they started looking at him again. Doc said a few times over during this part, that everything looked OK and that if she saw any single thing that alarmed her, that she would tell me. She promised. I think that they feel bad, because at our anatomy scan for Jackson there wasn't anything going on that they could see, yet a week later my water broke. But, I did have the twin loss, and the hemorrhage, which we already knew about, and this time there is none of that.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
She did say that we need to come back in 3 weeks, because baby will be bigger then and they will be able to get better pictures, but again <i>not because they see any problems</i>. Of course, because I am high risk, they'll do an echocardiogram on the baby, which measures how the heart is functioning or something...again, just routine. She tried to assure us as much as she could. Now, we aren't out of the woods yet, nor will we be until this baby is born...so many things <i>could</i> still be wrong, or <i>could </i>go wrong...but at least the scan didn't show anything alarming. That was a big step for us.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Walking out of the hospital was one of the best feelings, the best highs, ever. I remember feeling that way with Jackson too, but that whole situation didn't dampen how happy I felt this time. <i>We are having a boy. Everything looks ok so far. This could really be happening.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
We got to spend the rest of the day sharing with our family the news of our Baby Boy Bland. I made little cards the night before, 2 boy cards and 2 girl cards, for my parents and Dave's mom to open. I had brought them in the car, and wrapped the boy cards up in little boxes. I guess we will save the girly ones!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRJTMTIAmknuXibhiK8xc49P38WXkd6Zvu8NixaPRcXNJgWiWkGDUnBk56_z0Q7A0EeUa1RL8kIQ0xHckpngIWRAKvJrlDWHadFGNdroEzKSlHKdGRRtE4yS7McJ_ihSIRvQAl7_p61I/s1600/IMG_3191.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRJTMTIAmknuXibhiK8xc49P38WXkd6Zvu8NixaPRcXNJgWiWkGDUnBk56_z0Q7A0EeUa1RL8kIQ0xHckpngIWRAKvJrlDWHadFGNdroEzKSlHKdGRRtE4yS7McJ_ihSIRvQAl7_p61I/s1600/IMG_3191.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
We shared with my parents first, since it was in the middle of the day and Ash was at school and Joyce was at work. They opened their gift and were so happy, my dad in particular because he really wanted a boy. They took us to lunch to celebrate our happy news.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQQ40iKgyIfRVm0PCocQ79hJbPfw-KlGMLPX3eif1LjLaAoC4WlpOsED89OHlSk_0LEA9M8fIqNL2ruGlKt3WvKa6LVD3b_7nvxHEEATETHWXir0cUn-ZA52Tb_HrUSVz8LN0s7_MNKt4/s1600/IMG_3219.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQQ40iKgyIfRVm0PCocQ79hJbPfw-KlGMLPX3eif1LjLaAoC4WlpOsED89OHlSk_0LEA9M8fIqNL2ruGlKt3WvKa6LVD3b_7nvxHEEATETHWXir0cUn-ZA52Tb_HrUSVz8LN0s7_MNKt4/s1600/IMG_3219.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
After lunch we raced home to share the news with Ashley. She was also shocked because she was sure it was a girl, but I think that was more because she <i>wanted</i> a girl than anything else;) My body likes to produce boys, though, and that is ok! She was still excited. We had bought a onesie for her when we found out the news, and wrapped it in the box I posted on FB to tease everyone!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1rpsd8JDlLfkFwNpv4cAIGxKBPh_WAdXHy2gPZh4OMSk0el1FoxyMDIxs3KWEqReuwikxJqm_fs7z-r4VTeYx1MiL8NWg4d5B1vIb0N41axwNd9G-OQUpD_DykhcO3T6s3oci1Sl81KU/s1600/IMG_3203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: right;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1rpsd8JDlLfkFwNpv4cAIGxKBPh_WAdXHy2gPZh4OMSk0el1FoxyMDIxs3KWEqReuwikxJqm_fs7z-r4VTeYx1MiL8NWg4d5B1vIb0N41axwNd9G-OQUpD_DykhcO3T6s3oci1Sl81KU/s1600/IMG_3203.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioYBO9JKXMQXDSwURscYVz4VOyie60GUjAVKkg9BGlDnKLmwfoBwrgC_s9VMCH93GwppeihayCNtOh0WU2b0nRzd7Fpsz4h5KehQmYQ-Ufm6qLk_W0dJbka1qe_7z-o3gE7ygffC3-lb4/s1600/IMG_3205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioYBO9JKXMQXDSwURscYVz4VOyie60GUjAVKkg9BGlDnKLmwfoBwrgC_s9VMCH93GwppeihayCNtOh0WU2b0nRzd7Fpsz4h5KehQmYQ-Ufm6qLk_W0dJbka1qe_7z-o3gE7ygffC3-lb4/s1600/IMG_3205.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF3NNbrXVMmOxFnQ_J56lkcenOshceUbUoP242nIWnjvIfbvuAnp96k6vyFKzL9QvsfBqAhfOrl5rj7bhWZyLZNRgmn2fgpTnPyeyIfd7ShkkCcGzsGnkNPjB5fSaKijW2Vm0Y5Rv1nAw/s1600/IMG_3206.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF3NNbrXVMmOxFnQ_J56lkcenOshceUbUoP242nIWnjvIfbvuAnp96k6vyFKzL9QvsfBqAhfOrl5rj7bhWZyLZNRgmn2fgpTnPyeyIfd7ShkkCcGzsGnkNPjB5fSaKijW2Vm0Y5Rv1nAw/s1600/IMG_3206.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ16R4sntCUp6LN879A9jGECkdrSiJrg6Q1Vk7c9zPiTC3YYvN2DFwJ0l7ZcfiIdt4ijqSqYJUgf4aZG6YS9NgJXtG4jWrWKPcfqRDgnBvnfczTkJvgfoaWS_9qb_A6nkAKRqUZPFS3AY/s1600/IMG_3207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ16R4sntCUp6LN879A9jGECkdrSiJrg6Q1Vk7c9zPiTC3YYvN2DFwJ0l7ZcfiIdt4ijqSqYJUgf4aZG6YS9NgJXtG4jWrWKPcfqRDgnBvnfczTkJvgfoaWS_9qb_A6nkAKRqUZPFS3AY/s1600/IMG_3207.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><br />
<br />
Afterwards we waited for my MIL to get home and headed over there to share the news with her. We had to make sure these VIPs knew before everyone else:) Joyce was totally excited...so was her boyfriend Jon but he doesn't smile in pics;)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy5KhH_LxjeUtU6AzU76rGFliZGzy5pCd994bT4VpQOZgwNLO6AUycAZlWT3GBo6votRgDCS0OTBfOo-54ALAOugNO3uHJcNh-_umHM_jBSK9euMEdnYlQjiVjmWiKJj5Iuc0LVGlgGok/s1600/IMG_3215.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy5KhH_LxjeUtU6AzU76rGFliZGzy5pCd994bT4VpQOZgwNLO6AUycAZlWT3GBo6votRgDCS0OTBfOo-54ALAOugNO3uHJcNh-_umHM_jBSK9euMEdnYlQjiVjmWiKJj5Iuc0LVGlgGok/s1600/IMG_3215.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7r2Dwm91GL0jkESx_sXu96IMKz4JNaJsnmUABxihk73uziCXab5uFf3Z8oECOJDWTJaN0UwXualPr1u6pkgJ1-yu4kcVZSrRfZA4AdvXQNtpPDkHJKJsyMZT3FxNWRhY1tP3y_MMtiss/s1600/IMG_3216.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7r2Dwm91GL0jkESx_sXu96IMKz4JNaJsnmUABxihk73uziCXab5uFf3Z8oECOJDWTJaN0UwXualPr1u6pkgJ1-yu4kcVZSrRfZA4AdvXQNtpPDkHJKJsyMZT3FxNWRhY1tP3y_MMtiss/s1600/IMG_3216.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So all in all, it was good day. It was the day I really wanted to have, and God answered our prayers and gave it to us. I try not to think about the fact that last time, we had this day too - we even had a gender reveal party and celebrated all together - only to have to say goodbye to our sweet little boy a week later. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I know this is a different pregnancy, but it's also hard not to compare them. Hearing that we are having a boy again is a little hard. Mostly, its so fun and exciting because I am so excited to be the mom of a BOY! But...part of it is hard, because of the son we lost, the son we never got to love and keep and watch grow. I think we thought it was a girl so strongly because we wanted this time to be COMPLETELY different, and a girl would have made it so. Having a boy brings back a lot of memories, and joy that got stolen away, and it stings a little bit.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
All in all, we are so beyond thrilled. God is telling us that we have another chance, and that He is here with us while we go through this. We are determined to not let our less take the JOY from this baby boy, from this pregnancy. I'll never be one of those women who "just loves being pregnant" no, that won't ever be me. I'll enjoy what I can, but I'm counting down the days until viability (47), and then to 36 weeks (110), and then to 40 (138). I can't wait to meet our baby boy!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Thanks to everyone who has been supporting us this week, calling or texting, sending us things, stopping by, and especially all the praying. We could feel it, we had peace because of those prayers. So thank you a million times for loving us through it, because in these times we just can't get through it on our own. We are so lucky, so blessed, and so overwhelmed with the support! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I've got nervous-energy projects to share too, I did a lot over the weekend, so stay tuned for those!!! :)</div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-52283447333677744972015-01-16T23:47:00.002-05:002015-01-16T23:47:26.117-05:00The day our lives changed - take two<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Life is weird sometimes, isn't it? Who would have thought that I'd be writing a second post about this...the day we found out we are pregnant. When I <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-night-our-lives-changed.html" target="_blank">wrote our first post</a> when pregnant with Jackson, a looooong 9 months ago, I had no idea the turn my life would take in 2014. No, it wasn't all good. But it wasn't all bad either. Being pregnant so soon after a <a href="http://notsoblandlife.blogspot.com/2014/08/your-story-part-3.html" target="_blank">stillbirth</a>, a loss so deep and personal, is such a weird thing to wrap my mind around. It's happy, it's crazy, it's devastating, it beautiful, and it's full of hope. Here, I want to share the story of our new story, hopefully the beginning of our happy ending...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Once upon a time...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
No, just kidding.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
September was a strange month for me. I started work in late August, after a whole summer of grieving and crying and writing and getting used to the fact that I am a bereaved parent. It was a good summer, regardless of our loss, full of love and support and family and a beautiful trip to the Outer Banks. I wasn't ready to start work and face the world of "normal", but it was the best thing for me. I love my job and all the people I work with, they are AMAZING, seriously. Lots of love and support there too, and a big welcome back but nothing too overwhelming. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
As I've shared before, the doctors kept a close watch on me over the summer, and after testing and monitoring everything, we were given the "clean bill of health" baby-wise, to get back to it and try again after the 2 month mark of losing Jackson had passed. Dave and I were sure we'd have to wait a while for things to work themselves out in my body. It took 2 years to conceive Jackson and Lily, we weren't really trying all that hard for them but we weren't stopping a baby from happening either. So...this time around, we figured it would take a year maybe. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Meanwhile, I tried everything I could to be healthy. Not only to have a healthy body to give actual LIFE to a baby, but to aid me in my healing process too. Grieving is really a whole mind-body-spirit experience. I learned that for me, I had to work on each part of those things, or I wouldn't heal correctly. I was walking and swimming and working out, I was trying to eat good and clean and healthy things, I was praying and talking with God everyday because if I didn't I know I'd lose myself, and I was even doing extra things to help. I went to the chiropractor 3 days a week for adjustments and to work on a bulged disc in my back, I think triggered by Jackson's birth. I went to a wonderful acupuncturist, who helped me heal and stay energized. I fully believe that doing all of these things together helped me heal, but also jump started my body into some sort of state that was primed for a baby. I just had no idea it would work so fast!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Fast forward to a sunny Saturday, September 27th. Dave had worked the previous night and wasn't home yet. I had felt...weird...all week, but didn't think it was pregnancy because one - I didn't think it would happen that fast after losing Jackson and two- it was still sort of early in my cycle and I wasn't going to test until the next week. But...then, I was worried. Dave and I were planning on going to the Rockfield Wine Festival that afternoon and evening. Which meant, I'd be partaking in lots of wine tasting, more drinking than I normally do due to the nature of the event. It's something we do every year and we always have a great time! Anyways, I didn't want to go and do all that tasting if there was even a chance I could be pregnant. I didn't want to give myself ANY reasons to question my health or the babies this time around, if this was "it".</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I had bought some tests over the summer, a small but tough purchase to make after losing a baby, but I made myself do it as part of my healing, and the hope that one day we could do this again. I woke up that morning around 6:30, and decided to take the test. Dave wouldn't be home for a hour or so, so I could take my time and deal with the feelings that came, either way. I thought I was being silly, but again didn't want to take my chances with the wine. I took the test and afterwards set it on the nightstand (in a tissue) just like I had when I took it with Jackson. I laid in bed, facing Frodo and the tv, away from the test. I prayed, and I thought about Jackson, and I thought about having a baby again, and I thought about how silly I was for even thinking this could be happening.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Then, I heard a small but mighty voice in my head. The voice said, "<i>It's ready."</i> Look, I don't often hear the voice of God in my life. My head is too full of myself and my wants and needs and my stupid thoughts and views on life to even have room for God most of the time. It's terrible, and I need to clear my mind out more often so that God has ROOM in there. But, when He needs it, He finds the room no matter how awful or crazy I am! I didn't even need to look at the test, because when I heard that voice, I knew I was pregnant. God wouldn't tell me that it's ready, if it was negative. He was already preparing me. But I looked anyways...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93lc47T8aAU4jEG-eSKa_GTU75iMAxAjDJH_GnewdUyv1ivqWY9vg9ARnWV6f0PJvu0V6t1sBWZLQySVMvDXr2ot5wieIUBWQuYDnd1Dklq24uq_8YS7onex5Pd-GJpWtBgBuy2Ppy58/s1600/IMG_1675.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93lc47T8aAU4jEG-eSKa_GTU75iMAxAjDJH_GnewdUyv1ivqWY9vg9ARnWV6f0PJvu0V6t1sBWZLQySVMvDXr2ot5wieIUBWQuYDnd1Dklq24uq_8YS7onex5Pd-GJpWtBgBuy2Ppy58/s1600/IMG_1675.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Pregnant. 1-2 weeks. That means I was around 1 or 2 weeks into this, past ovulation. This was an early detection test, I shouldn't have even gotten a result for another week. But there it was, positive. Dear Lord I hope that's a sign that this baby is STRONG and MIGHTY and will MAKE it. She (or he) was making their presence known early. Hello there, baby.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Surprisingly, I didn't freak out. I wasn't heartbroken. I did cry, but small and warm, happy tears. I am pregnant. Again. So soon. Wow.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I got into the shower and sat down to think, as I had done so many times over the past few months, and let the hot water run over me and let the feelings, and questions, come. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Am I ready for this?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>How did this happen so fast?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>I was just pregnant 2 and half months ago!</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Will this end well?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>Should I take another test?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>How will Dave feel?</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
There were a million more going through my head too. I'm sure you can imagine, after what we had been through. I prayed hard to God in there, begging him to let me carry this baby to term, and to be able to bring the baby home this time, but that I am still on board with <i>His plan </i>and what He wants for all of us. <i>No matter what.</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I finished my showered, got dressed, and sat in bed. I wrote a small note to our new baby, about how peaceful I was and how weird that felt. About how much I loved this teeny, tiny baby already!! About how I couldn't wait to tell him or her the story of their older sister and brother in Heaven. I imagined this moment a lot since losing Jackson, and how it would make me feel, and it surprised me. Of course, I was nostalgic and missed Jackson, but already my mind new and understood that this baby was new, and this pregnancy was different, and I'd have to get used to that.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Finally, Dave came home from work. I let him do all his normal stuff downstairs like unpack and get water or whatever else he does as he unwinds, and then I heard him on the stairs. I wanted to run, and I wanted to hide. I hoped to Jesus he would be happy. He came around the corner in our room and saw me sitting up in bed, and said his normal greeting to me. I got up to greet him, and kept the test in my hand and after I hugged him, I gave it to him. He just stared at it. Then he looked at me, "Are you serious?" Then he smiled, and hugged me again, and I cried (of course). Yes, yes I am serious. We are pregnant. Again!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
It was a blur, honestly. Some of the feelings and reactions blend together in my heart and mind from the few months before when we went through this. But, he was happy. So happy, actually. As we let the news sink in, together, it felt good...GREAT really! He went to bed happy that morning, and I headed out to pick up my mom for our weekly shopping ritual.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I questioned whether we should tell our families or not. They had all been through so much with us, and I didn't want to get them all excited only to let them down again - it was early in the pregnancy and I knew anything could happen. But, I knew that if I kept the news from my parents, they would be upset. So, when I got over there, I shared with them. Almost the exact way I shared with them with Jackson's pregnancy, I took the test over there as proof. They were so happy for us too, and there were more tears shed. Happy tears, but also nostalgic again. We all still miss Jackson so much, and we would have been so close to meeting him. But this new baby was bringing us hope, and joy...it was the start of a new season. A happier one.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
That was the day our lives changed again, after such a hard season of love and loss and sadness. When Dave woke up that afternoon, I can't remember what we did to celebrate, but I remember how excited he was. It filled me with happiness, and hope. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I was, and still am, treading carefully though. Those first few weeks I kept praying to God that if He wanted to take this baby from us, to <i>please please please </i>take him or her early. Before I got too attached, before I went to the doctor. I don't know if those prayers were answered by letting us keep the baby or not. I am having a hard time deciding what to think and believe about my God these days, not because I don't trust Him, but because I don't trust Him to give me <i>what I want. </i>I trust that He knows what He is doing, I trust that He will get us through anything, but it's hard for me to trust that He wants this to end happily. I'm still working on allowing myself to hope that IS the case. I'm...I'm working on it.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So there is our story of discovering that Baby #3 is on his or her way. It's been a roller coaster so far, but one I am more than willing to ride. Thanks for reading about our journey and praying for us! Our scan is on Tuesday, and I'm trying not to think about it. Pray for my sanity and peace, <i>pray more for this baby to be ok, HEALTHY,</i> because I'd love to come away from that appointment celebrating. That would be awesome:) </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Cheers!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-77146604034166151762015-01-07T21:10:00.001-05:002015-01-07T21:10:45.626-05:00Choose Love, not Fear<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
There is NO part of this life of mine that God doesn't use to teach me more about Him. Losing Jackson was hard. It was the hardest thing ever, of course. But being pregnant so soon after losing him? That's hard too, just in a very different way.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The first few months were easier. I know that miscarriage is common, and I prepared myself for it. Actually, I was almost expecting it...I'm not sure why, maybe because I am a sick freak? The doctors wanted to see me at 6 weeks, but I flat out refused. I told them I wasn't coming in until I absolutely had to, because I wasn't going to attach myself too early. They told me 9 weeks was the latest they wanted me to wait. So then, we got passed the 9 week check up with the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat, then we passed the 12 week "safe milestone" and then I had to stop explaining to myself that losing the baby at that point was "normal". Now, if we lose the baby, its not normal. It's against the odds. Losing Jackson at 21 weeks was against the odds, and he is all I know and understand of pregnancy. It was not normal.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I just want a normal pregnancy. It's all I want! Now, as we fly past the 18 week mark (each Tuesday I have a mini celebration that I've made it another week) I can feel FEAR creeping in ever so slowly. The baby is only getting bigger. I'm getting more attached with every kick and bounce. If I lose him or her, it will only get more painful. I'm only 3 weeks away from the point in the pregnancy where Jackson died. Can you believe that? Already, we are only 3 weeks away from my own personal D Day.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
So God is gently reminding me, every minute of every hour of every day, to choose LOVE. Not FEAR. He does not want me to have a spirit of fear, but I am so so afraid. I have very little control over what is happening in my body right now, and that terrifies me. I have to surrender it, every single minute. I have to overcome it, every time I go into the bathroom. The bathroom is one of the scariest places in pregnancy after loss. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I have to tell myself it's ok to love this baby, it's ok to hope for this baby, its ok to PLAN for this baby. Isn't that odd? And a little terrible? That I have to <i>choose</i> to do that!?</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I do...I do love her (or him) and I do hope, and I do plan...but then there is the voice of fear telling me to be careful, to slow down or stop completely. 21 weeks is 3 weeks away. The anatomy scan, where we could find out the HUNDREDS of things that could be wrong with our baby, is 2 weeks away. Forget about being excited about finding out the gender. I am a terrified mess. How do I silence the knowledge of <i>everything </i>I know that could be wrong? How do I not cry at each and every appointment? How will I get through an anatomy scan where the tech will have to go silent to check and measure the baby and not be able to tell me about the problems? Then, they will have to go get the doctor, possibly the <i>exact same</i> doctor that told me Jackson was gone? And we will wait...How will I live through that?</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
Then, I remember...God doesn't give me anything I can't handle. If I couldn't handle this pregnancy, this soon, God wouldn't have allowed me to be pregnant. And honestly, if God didn't think I could handle another loss, He wouldn't have allowed it then either. So, no matter what happens, God already knows that I will get through it. He has faith in me, so I need to have faith in Him. But again...God thought I could bear losing Jackson, what if he feels that way about this baby too? Is it ok to hope? Is it ok to get attached? Is it ok to tell God...<i>"Um...please no, I can't handle another loss. Or even if there is something wrong. I can't get through that this time around. I know you think I can, but I really can't!!"</i>?</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I have to say yes. It <i>has</i> to be ok to hope and attach and LOVE. Because this baby, our rainbow baby, she or he deserves to be loved. They deserve to know and feel LOVE for as long as God allows them to be on this earth. I have to choose it, every time I think about it, I have to choose LOVE over FEAR. I have to tell the fear to go to Hell, literally, because that is where it comes from. My God does not want me to fear. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
When I allow myself to hope and think about this baby, I am so excited. I am so happy. I am so honored that God is giving us another chance at this. I can't wait to hold her (or him) and decorate our nursery and rejoice with our family over our little miracle. That is what our baby deserves, to live and grow inside a mama who is happy and ready for them. When I think of it that way, it isn't so hard to choose LOVE. No matter what...and I know it's a real possibility that something could be wrong, and that something bad may happen, I know all too well...but still our baby deserves LOVE even in the midst of all of that. So I am choosing LOVE over fear...over and over and over again. Hourly, daily, whatever it takes. I am choosing LOVE no matter what, too. Bound for earth or bound for Heaven, my baby deserves it. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i>You hear that, Baby Bland #3? I love you, a whole lot. No matter what. xoxo...</i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2028380621982895053.post-8239595368151890522015-01-03T08:57:00.000-05:002015-01-03T10:18:45.087-05:00PAL should be labeled "Anxiety Disorder"<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><img alt="Pin It!" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd362/teebland24/pinit.gif" style="border: none;" /></a></center>
<center>
<a href="javascript:void((function(){var%20e=document.createElement('script');e.setAttribute('type','text/javascript');e.setAttribute('charset','UTF-8');e.setAttribute('src','http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r='+Math.random()*99999999);document.body.appendChild(e)})());"><br /></a></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
First let me say a huge THANK YOU to everyone's wonderful comments and thoughts and prayers for us after our big announcement on Thursday. We are so lucky to have a community praying for us and routing for this little baby!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
When we first found out we were pregnant, Dave & I both didn't want to tell a single soul besides our closest family. There was no way we were parading the news around this time, only to lose another baby. Dave still feels that he could wait until June to tell people, but I don't have that luxury since the belly is already growing. It's growing faster than last time! Anyways, as I thought about our fear of telling people, I started feeling like that wasn't the way to go. Yes, it's hard losing a baby and then telling people I've lost a baby and then FACING people who know I've lost a baby...but it's also healing and helpful too. We had a lot of support when we lost Jackson, and I'm not sure how we could've gotten through that without it. As the Christmas holidays got closer, I felt that this week was the time to share with the world. We've told a handful of people as we became more comfortable, and more confident, and it got easier with each person we shared with. So I am glad we decided to tell the world, because we have another community lifting us up and praying for a healthy baby.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I didn't expect to be pregnant so soon after losing Jackson. It took us almost 2 years for him and Lily, so when doc told us that we were safe and ok to try again after 2 months, we figured it would take us a while, maybe even a year. I can't even explain the pool of emotions that came with that positive pregnancy test back in September, but I can tell you one thing - anxiety moved right into my heart and our home. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I once read that Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) was like being handed a diagnosis of an anxiety disorder. That is the absolute truth. While I can get by most days by either be excited about this baby, or just not thinking about her (or him, but we think its a her. We have a 50/50 chance!) if I am feeling anxious, the doctor appointments are brutal. Extremely brutal. With Jackson, every doctor appointment seemed to bring heartache....twin with no heartbeat, Jackson's gestational sac was small, awful exams because of the bleeding, etc. That was my first experience in the pregnancy world, and the innocence was shattered. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I'll never be a blissful, naive, excited pregnant mom, and that breaks my heart. Something has been stolen from me. Being in the baby loss community, I know almost <i>every single thing</i> that can go wrong in a pregnancy. I've met moms who have been through hundreds of different problems and lost their babies...cord accidents, preterm labor, Trisomy diagnoses, fatal neural tube diagnoses...if something has killed a baby, I know about it. I don't regret meeting these moms, or pouring over their stories, because it got me through our loss. I knew I wasn't alone, even though for a while I felt it because no one around me in my life could really <i>get it </i>unless they and their bodies had been put through it.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
The problem is now, that I have to pack up all that knowledge and try to have <i>faith</i> that our baby will make it this time in spite of all the things I know that <i>could </i>go wrong. I am really struggling, especially at the doc appointments. Up until yesterday, each appointment went as well as can be expected. There's only one baby this time, she (or he) looks great so far, heartbeat has always been great. Yesterday was a little rough for me, because at first the doc couldn't find the heartbeat. I tried NOT to freak out, because I KNOW my baby is alive, I feel her move around all the time, and we could hear her move on the Doppler, but not hearing the heartbeat right away set off my panic. <i>What if??</i> I starting crying. Finally, she found it, and it was just and as healthy as can be. Then, our doc starting talking about the testing...</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I am high risk this time around, not because of our loss since the docs truly believe that was a freak accident, but because I have gestational diabetes. I had it with Jackson, and after we delivered him my sugars went back to normal, but almost as soon as we were preggo again they creeped back up. They aren't really high or anything, but in pregnancy the docs are brutal about wanting those sugars to be very low. Plus, because the docs know how anxious we are, they want to to give us as much peace of mind as they can. My blood pressure has been a little high each appointment, which we thought was just the anxiety of being at the doctors, but it hasn't gotten any better. So, they are putting me on a low dose of meds. I have to get an EKG, and do a urine test, which our doc said yesterday is just routine, just to get my baseline, etc etc...she doesn't think there is anything wrong with me or the baby.</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
But...I've read stories, I know percentage rates, of what high blood pressure can do to moms and babies. I know that preterm labor and stillbirth...those percentages go up. I try not to think about it, try not to let that fear live in me, but I am struggling with it a lot today. <i>What if??</i> What if something is wrong? What if it gets higher? What if that puts me into labor again? Will I say goodbye to another baby?</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
If I focus on the heartbeat I heard yesterday, that helps me relax. We have a live baby for now. That heartbeat is all I need to talk myself into calming down. We have another day with this baby, and I have to try to enjoy each day. When I feel the baby move, which I have been feeling since 13 weeks (so early! I think God knew I needed it!) I get so happy and so confident that we have a healthy one here. Overall, I have been much more confident this time around, and hopefully that means something. With Jackson, I always felt off. I don't feel that way this time. </center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
I know that God doesn't want me to live in fear. I know that is not Him. I know He wants me to have faith. But faith is such a tricky friend in PAL. I have to have faith, no matter what. Live baby, or baby in Heaven. God thought I could handle Jackson's loss, what if He feels that way about this baby too? Where does faith fall in all of this? I choose to believe that this IS our Rainbow baby, our healthy baby after a loss. I choose to believe that God is blessing us after a terrible storm. I choose to believe that God wants us to take this baby home from the hospital. I am choosing to have faith, and to fight the fear with all I have. It's hard, but I'll keep fighting!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
<br /></center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
For prayer, I know people are asking specifically, here is what we need. Prayer for a healthy baby - we go for our anatomy scan later in January and will find out any problems there - I don't want there to be a single thing wrong with this baby! Prayer for a healthy me - that all the tests and extra appointments will just confirm that I am ok, that my body can handle this pregnancy this time and get to the end without any complications. Prayer for my peace, my family's peace too, that our anxieties and fears won't get to us. We can't thank you enough for support us and investing in this with us. They say it takes a village to raise a child, well this village will birth a healthy baby, hopefully!</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
XOXO,</center>
<center style="text-align: left;">
</center>
<center>
<img alt="post signature" src="http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u566/laureneshepherd/Not%20So%20Bland%20Life/595a2090-c730-4fff-9613-893490c39b76_zpse48e3aaf.png" /></center>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13306089137220347265noreply@blogger.com0