September 22, 2014

Summer

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While I enjoy the break from work, I can honestly say I am not all that sad to see summer go.  This was a bad summer.  I never felt like I got a break, because while I wasn't working at school, I was constantly working on grief.  24/7.  Without a break.  Actually, going BACK to school gives me a vacation from the pain.  I am able to jump in 100% and focus on my students and what I want to do this year.  I still come back to the pain each day, and work on it some more, but it's nice to have the break.

I've learned a lot about myself.  I've learned a lot about life.  I've learned a lot about death.  I've been able to connect to things in life that I would have never noticed otherwise.  Dave and I have gotten closer and more committed to this life together, even though we deal with grief in such different ways.

While thinking of fall gives me a heart ache, Jackson's due date is in a month and it's hard not to think of that life gone wrong, I do love this time of year.  Fall is my favorite.  I'm hoping that the wonderful things I enjoy about this season will overshadow the pain.

Anyways, so long summer.  You have taught me many things.  Many of which I never wanted to learn, but I am grateful that I learned nonetheless.  When you return, oh dearest summer, please be easy on me.  Please.



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