While I enjoy the break from work, I can honestly say I am not all that sad to see summer go. This was a bad summer. I never felt like I got a break, because while I wasn't working at school, I was constantly working on grief. 24/7. Without a break. Actually, going BACK to school gives me a vacation from the pain. I am able to jump in 100% and focus on my students and what I want to do this year. I still come back to the pain each day, and work on it some more, but it's nice to have the break.
I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned a lot about life. I've learned a lot about death. I've been able to connect to things in life that I would have never noticed otherwise. Dave and I have gotten closer and more committed to this life together, even though we deal with grief in such different ways.
While thinking of fall gives me a heart ache, Jackson's due date is in a month and it's hard not to think of that life gone wrong, I do love this time of year. Fall is my favorite. I'm hoping that the wonderful things I enjoy about this season will overshadow the pain.
Anyways, so long summer. You have taught me many things. Many of which I never wanted to learn, but I am grateful that I learned nonetheless. When you return, oh dearest summer, please be easy on me. Please.