Have a wonderful, safe and blessed New Year!
December 31, 2014
Have a wonderful, safe and blessed New Year!
December 24, 2014
Merry Christmas everyone!! December has been a quiet month, blog-wise. We've been busy, but careful with ourselves during this happy yet hard holiday season. We have been able to enjoy the love and joy and anticipation of Christmas, in spite of our broken hearts. I think this year, more than ever, we are fully appreciating what it's all about - because Jesus has carried us through so much heartache and pain this year - we understand how wonderful and beautiful His love is for us. Thank God that Our Savior was Born!! I couldn't have made it through the year without him.
I am missing my little Lily and Jackson a lot these days. I am able to fit my happiness around the grief now, and I am so thankful for that. The pain is NOT gone, and it has NOT gotten easier, but I am able to live my life normally WITH it. Merry Christmas, Baby Bland Twins, your first in Heaven. I'm jealous of the party you must be having there;)
To all our friends and family, I hope your Christmas is filled with love and joy and true happiness. Taken nothing or no one for granted, and enjoy your time together! Merry Christmas!!
Happy Birthday, Jesus!
November 30, 2014
I totally made a Mickey wreath! I had a blurry idea of what I wanted, but had no idea how to make it. There are tons of Mickey wreaths on Pinterest, but really no tutorials on how to do it. I could have made a tutorial, except I forgot to take pictures of what I was doing whilst I was doing it. But I can tell you, it's really easy. I just bought one of those wire wreath rings, you can see it buried up in that picture of my supplies. I bought wreath-type garland and weaved it in and around the ring, until it looked full and wreathy. That's a real word, I promise.
Then, using wire, I tied on the "ears" and since the garland has wire in it too, they stayed up all perky and perfect! Then, I just started adding Christmas stuff on the wreath. I didn't want it too busy, I wanted it to look like I stole it off the streets of Main Street, Magic Kingdom. Bam. Here it is...
And here it is all hung up on our door. Sorry the pic is so dark, I should have taken a picture during the day. One day, I'll get this whole take-great-pics-for-my-blog thing. One day.
I got the idea from a blog I read, Tatertots and Jello. There are always great craft ideas up on there! Anyways, for this all I used was black scrapbook paper and a chalkboard pen.
I really wanted to make a pretty rustic wooden frame for this. But I would have had to go buy wood. And wood stain. And then I would have had to cut it. I tried using some wood we had here, but it wasn't the right size for a frame, and I was trying to only use stuff we already own. I spent too much on Black Friday and now we have to live on Ramen for the next 5 days. Just kidding...but seriously, I didn't want to spend any money on this. So, I just stuck it in a too-small frame but tried to jazz it up with some pretty Christmas paper. It's not that bad!
It looks great up on our winter wonderland shelf. Isn't decorating for Christmas fun?!
And here is another before/after of our staircase...don't you love our beautiful gray walls? 3.5 years later and I'm still in love with the color. That's how you know you have found the "one"!
Here's my after. Again, it's a dark pic, and I should really learn to be better than that;)
Oh and this is Molly. She is our tree. Since we got rid of that ugly wood stove, our tree can live here for the season, and there is so much more space for it! I can't wait for the branches to fall so we can decorate it! Don't mind the mess around our house. Our house is hardly ever messy ;)
To set the "look what I have done" bar even higher, I set up a "wrapping station" in our basement! Well, OK...by wrapping station I mean I moved all our boxes, bows and paper down there and stuck it on or under a table. It's all there for me to start wrapping the millions of gifts we bought this weekend. I will organize it, eventually. I'm trying to clean out our guest room for holiday guests, so I can't keep all that messiness up there. I'm trying to be organized, it's just really hard. We have way.too.much.crap in this house.
Anywho, how is this short break over already? It was a fabulous weekend with family and friends, and a wonderful balance of rest and productivity. I wish I could live that way forever, but alas work is tomorrow, and we have to get through 16 and 1/2 more days before winter break. I think I can I think I can!
At least our house is wonderfully festive on the inside!
Did you get any decorating or crafts done this weekend?!? Do share!
November 23, 2014
November 12, 2014
October 31, 2014
Thanks for sticking through this month of grief posts with me. :)
October 26, 2014
Now that we've gotten passed 10/21 - the "due date" and the memorial, I feel like I'm losing steam on grieving. That's a good thing! I don't feel so guilty moving on with life, enjoying the little things each day, and appreciating the blessings that God has given me. I still have my moments and last week was very hard, but I am feeling a lot better. I think the struggle through last week gave me lots of hope and strength.
Today's theme is healing ritual. My healing ritual is my walks in the evenings, catching the sunrise when possible. Now that the days are getting shorter, and chillier, and rainier, I haven't been going as much and I am sad about that. Even though I am feeling better emotionally, I still need to get my butt out there and exercise. I know it's good for my overall well being. The weather looks like it's going to be nice and fallish this week, so I am making a goal to get out there 3 times, at least. Next week after daylight savings, I guess I'll have to get used to walking in twilight or the dark. Dave may have to join me for those!
I love my walks, and I know they helped my healing journey so far. I listen to Oceans over and over, and pray or talk to Jackson and Lily, and just reflect on life and plan for the future. It's been a great way to clear my mind each evening, and to be sure my priorities are straight in life. It's help keep me stress free so far this school year too, and the walks have also helped keep me in a healthy mindset. I always try to hit my 10,000 steps on my fitbit, if I didn't reach that goal at school.
I hope to keep this ritual up even through the winter, but I have a feeling that I may have to move the ritual over to the gym, or maybe some yoga inside. I love being outside in nature, but dark and chilly walks may not be as enticing as a sunny and warm summer evening walk. I'm going to miss those!
I am thankful for this healing ritual. Cheers!
October 23, 2014
I am still trying to catch up on sleep and energy after our emotional day on Tuesday. It took a lot out of me, more than I realized, to plan our babies memorial and go through the official motion of saying "goodbye" to them both. It's hard to make it through each work day without falling asleep! I've been trying to rest as much as possible when I am home, around living life and trying to take care of the house and my family. I'll get better at it. I know I have to be easy on myself this week, or even this whole month, and follow what my heart and body are saying to me. Yesterday I came home and went right to bed after a nice long bath, it felt good to take care of me and just be lazy. Good for the theme of self-care yesterday.
I'm loving this month of grieving, and I know that sounds weird, but I mean it. It's been really helpful to explore my feelings and what Jackson and Lily mean to me. Of course, I'd rather have them here, but since that's not possible I'll make the best of it.
Today's theme of #captureyourgrief is Inspiration. I chose this picture of some of the balloons (enviro friendly, with twine that is also enviro friendly) we released for Jackson and Lily because they are my main inspiration during this time. They inspire me to learn and grow and live life with love and peace. They have changed me for the better in so many ways, they are still changing me. I have a long way to go! Part of the way I can endure them not being here with me is thinking about them daily and letting them guide my heart and actions. I hope that I make them proud, I know that sounds so silly, but I want to be a good mom for them and because of them. Just as if they were here.
Thanks for being my inspiration, dear babies. Love you!
Time for mom to go to bed. ZZZzzzzzZZzzzz