October 12, 2014

Day 12: Music

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Day 12 of #captureyourgrief.  Music.

I have one song right now that is my go-to song for this time of my life.  I've talked about it and shared it many times on this blog.  I listen to this song on repeat each day that I take my walk.  I usually get out to walk around 5 times a week.  I walk a little over a mile, sometimes more or less.  I listen to this song, I sing along, I pray, I talk to Jackson, I watch the sunset and take pictures of it, and I just let myself feel whatever I need to feel.  I don't hold back, if I need to cry, I let myself...right there on my walk with cars speeding by and people running up and down the hill.  

I adopted this song a week after we lost Jackson.  I was in the shower and needed a big cry and needed a good song to cry to.  This song came on and the truth and magnitude of the lyrics cut my heart right down the middle.  Trust without borders.  That is what this time of my life is all about.  Trust.  How does one trust God after the loss of a baby or a pregnancy?  I have no clue, but I'm doing it.  I trust Him, I know that HE knows what He is doing, and He will get me through this.

In oceans deep, my faith will stand.  I'm in a deep ocean right now.  But I trust You....


Listen here: Oceans (Where feet may fail) Hillsong United.  This song will forever be known as the song that helped me through our loss.  
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